Cheney Says New US Constitution Will Be Drafted By Chinese Scholars

Funny story written by Evan Essence

Sunday, 20 April 2008

image for Cheney Says New US Constitution Will Be Drafted By Chinese Scholars

Washington, D.C. - Over the centuries, Chinese scholars have made some of the greatest contributions to the world's legal and political thinking......The "Analects" of Confucius, "The Rites of Zhou" during the Zhou Dynasty, and "The Little Red Book" of Mao Tse Tung.

Now, US Vice-president, Dick Cheney, says he has called on a group of Chinese scholars at Tinanmen University in Beijing, to come up with the new Rules of Engagement, in the United States, between the governed and those who govern.

The new US Constitution is intended to embrace the new global realities, in an Age of Terrorism, and of Free-Market Capitalism, made more efficient, and enforced, by a strong, centralized government.

Cheney said that the new US Constitution is scheduled to be implemented on November 3rd, 2008.

Cheney also noted that the Chinese search engine, Baidu, has proved more efficient than popular search engines, such as Google and Yahoo, and will be implemented in the US, on a national level, in November. He says that Baidu has superior spam-protection and filtering capabilities, which will prevent terrorists from innundating the Internet with subversive, and anti-patriotic messages.

Harvard Professor of Political Science, Barney Hampton observed that he sees little that will stop Cheney from implementing these changes, in November.

"The average American is fat, lazy, and more concerned with watching television, than trying to remember what they were forced to read about Thomas Jefferson, Paul Revere, and Patrick Henry, in High School," Professor Hampton noted.

"Americans have stood idly by and watched while Dick Cheney declared that the Vice-presidency is not part of the Executive Branch...and accordingly, there is no system of "Checks and Balances" between Executive, Legislative, and Judicial Branches...instead, the oil companies' "Decider" decides everything," Professor Hampton continued.

"Americans stood by while their Attorney General declared that the Consitutional Right of Habeas Corpus is null and void....and the United States Consitutional mandate to abide by its International Treaties, such as the Geneva Convention's Ban on not applicable, and wire-tapping of Americans by one partisan group in power...without any judical acceptable."

'If Americans were going to do anything to preserve their Rights, they would have exercised their Constitutional Mandate of Impeachment, by now," Professor Hampton concluded.

Editors note: Evan Essence received his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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