Al Fayed: Prince Phillip Made Fulham FC Shite!
He just won't give up will he? After accusing Prince Phillip and the Secret Service for killing Dodi and Diana, the lovable Mohammed, Al Fayed is back up to his old tricks again by accusing the Prince of Edinburgh for making his beloved football...
Read full storyTSA agents to be outfitted with Dick Cheney's X-Ray comic book glasses
Washington, DC - A photo of Dick Cheney testing out a pair of new TSA X-Ray glasses was accidentally leaked to the press today. The new glasses are the latest security measure to be introduced to the TSA to help search for any weapons or bombs that t...
Read full storyPrince William & Kate Middleton To Perform Amazing Stunt in Hyde Park
So now that Prince William has now successfully gained his wings which qualifies him to pilot aircraft, both rotary and fixed-wing, what next?...
Read full storyMcCain Releases Campaign Song: "Yes We Fear"
Washington, DC - From its headquarters on K Street, the campaign of Senator John Sidney McCain released the lyrics to his honest new campaign song: "Yes We Fear".
Read full storyJames Brown's Corpse Arrested For DUI
State police in Georgia have confirmed a high speed police chase of a coffin in the early hours of the morning. The coffin was finally stopped after it hit a light standard. Attending officers quickly cornered the coffin, opened the lid and discovere...
Read full storyHillary Indiana orifice arson attack: NATO general describes Clintons' 30 years internecine warfaring
Langley, Va - (Cover-up Mess): The mood was sombre at Langley's President George Herbert Bush Center for Intelligence (sic) today amid reports of arson at Hillary Clinton's Haute Terre, Indiana campaign orifice.
Read full storyWhat's that reflection in Dick Cheney's glasses? Naked woman? Space Alien? Osama Bin Laden? What the blog is it?
Snake River, Idaho - The Internet is once again a blaze with controversial pictures, only this time its not just with the standard photos of a naked woman (although that has not been ruled out). It is on fire with photos of Vice President Dick Cheney...
Read full storyFrench President's Wife Strips - Wins Release of Ship Hostages
In what is being called in diplomatic circles as an unprecedented and dangerous move, French President Nicolas Sarkozy's wife, model Carla Bruni, has stripped for a pay-per-view special and given the proceeds to Somalian kidnappers in order to se...
Read full storyBrad Pitt and Angelina are adopting Britney Spears
It has been rumored for many months now that Brad and Angie would be adopting yet another child. And after 26 year old Britney Spears was given up for adoption by her parents sources say, she was distraught.
Read full storyLiverpool FC To Appear On 'Jeremy Kyle'
The feuding boardroom members and manager of Liverpool, Tom Hicks, George Gillet, Rick Parry and Rafa Benitez have all appeared on ITV's hit show 'Jeremy Kyle' to sort out their differences.
Read full storyTumescent Cheney in naked 'woman's' sunglasses
Washington DC - (Naked Ass Mess): A client pal of Eliot Spitzer's Holy Roman Emperor VSOP* escort agency is auctioning a photograph of a tumescent Dickless Cheney seen reflected in the Raybans of a naked 'woman'.
Read full story'The Dictionary' To Become A Movie
The most popular book in the world, 'The Dictionary', is to become a summer blockbuster movie, with stars such as Bruce Willis and Morgan Freeman starring in it.
Read full storyWinehouse to Bloom: "Who's In Rehab Now?"
Hollywood heartthrob Orlando Bloom has been hospitalized, ostensibly for exhaustion. According to his representatives, Bloom has been working around the clock training for his new film, Hong Kong Phooey, and as a result has become fatigued and unsigh...
Read full storyNaked Carla Bruni pics; sold on e bay
French 1st Lady Carla Bruni's naked pictures went under auction today and fetched a whopping £94k!...
Read full storyOlympic Torch Factory Burns To Ground - Underaged Workers in Serious Condition
A factory in Guangzhou, Guangdong Province, used to manufacture replica Olympic torches for distribution during the upcoming Beijing Olympics, has burned to the ground. As many as 200 workers are believed to be in a critical condition. Many of the wo...
Read full storyWoman with Two Mouths and Huge Ears Can Gossip and Bitch at Same Time
A woman born with a rare genetic disease which has left her with two mouths and satellite dish sized ears has terrorized her local community by spreading malicious gossip and rumors.
Read full storyScientists reveal that worlds first pregnant man is not all that he seems
Shocking facts have been revealed today about the world's first pregnant man. After several tests, scientists have been astounded to find out that the Thomas Beatie is not all that he seems.
Read full storyGreen Zone Not Attacked Today
Baghdad - The Green Zone in Baghdad was not attacked today, according to a spokesman from the Bush White House.
Read full storyThe Girl That Stole Harry Potter's Virgin(ity)
Harry Potter AKA the chosen one mourns this evening over the theft of his virginity. Yes he is not a virgin owner anymore. He has no virginity.
Read full storyThe Terrorist Awards 2008: The Results
The Middle East swept the board at last nights Terrorist Awards, scooping the majority categories. The ceremony, held at Earls Court, was a lavish affair, with many A-list guests including Tony Blair, George W. Bush and Abu Hamza, to name but a few.
Read full storyPat Robertson to meet Pope about 'goddawful Warren Jeffs business'
Virginia Beach - (Polygamist Ass Mess): Rev Pat Robertson will hold secret talks with the Pope next week about a potentially explosive 1963 child custody deal that named Joseph Ratzinger as Warren Jeff's biological father.
Read full storyKaren Matthews Agrees to Be Sterilised
Karen Matthews, mother of missing Shannon Matthews, has agreed to be sterilised whilst on remand in Yorkshire. It is believed that Miss Matthews has given birth to at least 14 children in her lifetime, five of which are currently in the care of socia...
Read full storyAmerican Indians Demand Independence
Washington, DC. - Encouraged by the wide support enjoyed by the Free Tibet Movement and the huge success of Olympic-boycott demonstrations world-wide, pro-independence demonstrations and riots have erupted all over the native Indian reservations acro...
Read full storyCarla Bruni to head French Ministry of Orgasm
Paris, France - (Zut Alors! Mess): French President Knickerless Sarkozy has promoted Carla Bruni, his stunning brunette wife of four months, to head a newly-spawned Ministry of Orgasm after her naked portrait fetched a world-record $45 million at auc...
Read full storyJK Rowling, Heather Mills and Kate McCann all siblings?
London - (Lurid Ass Mess): Perish the thought...But a UK weekend tabloid is fighting a High Court attempt to gag results of a nine month probe claiming headline-grabbers JK Rowling, Heather Mills and Kate McCann 'all have the same biological fath...
Read full storyBritish Airways Advice For Travellers Handbook Available From Today
British Airways has reacted to its seemingly unending problems at its new £4.3billion facility Terminal 5, by publishing an advisory booklet for passengers who may have tried to travel from T5, entitled What...
Read full storyCarla Bruni Image Sold At New York Auction
A nude photograph of France's First Lady, Carla Bruni, has been auctioned for $91,000 - more than 20 times the expected price, and nearly 100 times its real worth, say sources at a New York auction house.
Read full storyJesus Christ to star in next series of Big Brother
Channel 4 have announced today that they are anticipating the next series of Big Brother to be the biggest and best series yet. But have they taken things a step too far by accepting our lord Jesus Christ, Moses and Satan into the house?...
Read full storySir Trevor Brooking reveals his opinion on FA Cup finalist Cardiff City's bid for UEFA competition
Under the current UEFA rules, if Welsh club Cardiff City were to win the FA Cup they would not be allowed to represent England in the UEFA cup, and therefore the runner-up in the competition would qualify.
Read full storyGood Friday Agreement Breaks Down
After a shaky start the 2007 'Good Friday' agreement has come to a shocking end. Following a series of initiatives to reconcile their differences, talks between Ian and Martin O'Void of Hamshank Road, Belfast finally broke-down.
Read full storyEarth Upside Down, Says Scientist
The North is not the North, it's the South, and the South is not the South, it's the North. That's the startling revelation from scientists who claim that all maps hitherto drawn are upside down.
Read full storyOpera About Bush Presidency, Complete With Giant Puppets
As the orchestra emitted repeated atonal pings, huge puppets - some more than 20 feet tall - staggered onto the Metropolitan Opera stage during a rehearsal last week.
Read full storyCrappy websites may cause suicides
People surfing the web are more likely to commit suicide than people who watch Fox television, a study says.
Read full storyCollege Mumps Outbreaks Surpass STD's!
College students are coming down with the mumps so often that university health centers believe the disease has surpassed sexually transmitted infections.
Read full storyGeneralissimo Petraeus Re-ups Major Major's Catch-22; It's more...It's 23!
In the classic anti-war novel of Joseph Heller, Catch-22, if you wanted to stop flying bombing missions you were clearly sane enough to be denied a mental illness discharge. If you were crazy enough to want to continue flying bombing missions than yo...
Read full storyKathleen Parker's Guide to Human Rights Awards Pope Benedict; Homophobes and Sexists Applaud
Catholic homophobes and woman-haters were thrilled with conservative columnist Kathleen Parker's tribute to Pope Benedict's willingness to baptize Muslims and his insistence that though Jesus' may have had a point that love covers a multi...
Read full storyBush Fails Again . . . 'er More
General Petraeus, appearing before several congressional committees, told people how well things are going in Iraq, the surge has surged its total surginess, and the gains are obvious, although, perhaps, maybe, possibly a little bit "fragile and...
Read full storyCops probe Maddie link to Terminal 5
In an exciting new twist to the Madeleine McCann case, Portuguese police are ignoring a theory that the missing toddler is alive but lost somewhere in the parallel universe at Heathrow Terminal 5. But that's alright, because a new investigation...
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