Woman with Two Mouths and Huge Ears Can Gossip and Bitch at Same Time

Written by Jesus Budda

Friday, 11 April 2008

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"Did you hear about Melissa's husband and the rabid turkey...."

A woman born with a rare genetic disease which has left her with two mouths and satellite dish sized ears has terrorized her local community by spreading malicious gossip and rumors.

Linda Fuchs, 45 picks up the most minute sonic vibrations with her massive 64 -inch ears, then immediately gets on her telephone and starts ringing around her neighbors with her overheard 'news'.

"Because she has two big mouths, she can communicate with other nosy bitches using two telephones at once", said a worried homeowner, "she is a menace to society".

Nothing remains secret for very long in Linda's area, as she detects even the slightest whiff of controversy and idle tittle-tattle.

Local police have even been known to call on Linda's 'abilities' to aid in their crime fighting.

"She's a nosy bitch", said her husband and local sheriff, Dan, "anything that goes down around here she's the first to hear it".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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