Baghdad - The Green Zone in Baghdad was not attacked today, according to a spokesman from the Bush White House.
"This proves our policies are a success," said White House Spokesman Baghdad Bob. "No rockets hit any of our buildings inside the Zone, a great improvement over yesterday. Not one mortar shell exploded near our embassy between sunup and sundown, or even for more than 30 minutes after sundown. And any spent rounds that fell on the sidewalks were due to fighting outside the Green Zone, and not actually fired at it."
Reaction was swift and positive. "Bomb Iran!" said Republican presidential candidate John Sidney McCain. "911!" replied former mayor of 911 Rudy Giuliani.
Troops on the scene were enthusiastic. "Keep your head down, sir," said a young lance corporal, "And keep your body armor on."
In related news, the Baghdad Museum had a nearly an hour of electricity today. Curators used the time to translate an inscription attributed to Pyrhhus of Epirus.
"If we win another such victory," wrote the ancient king, "We will be completely ruined."
