Paris, France - (Zut Alors! Mess): French President Knickerless Sarkozy has promoted Carla Bruni, his stunning brunette wife of four months, to head a newly-spawned Ministry of Orgasm after her naked portrait fetched a world-record $45 million at auction today.
The picture caused a sensation despite the somewhat lopsided nature of France's First Madame's tits which appear to point at ten and two o'clock respectively on an imaginary clock face, causing a four hour 'window of opportunity' in the middle of her cleavage.
French government officials are now lobbying the EU to use the picture on new designs for the €500 note, the highest denomination currency in Euroland.
And even the UK Treasury is said to be delighted with the plan.
"Five hundred euro? That's just over four hundred quid, mate" a colleague of Chancellor Alistair Darling said today, "or roughly what hookers on the Champs Elysee charge per hour."
Heather Mills is 69.
