State police in Georgia have confirmed a high speed police chase of a coffin in the early hours of the morning. The coffin was finally stopped after it hit a light standard. Attending officers quickly cornered the coffin, opened the lid and discovered James Brown, A.K.A. 'The Godfather of Soul', in a deceased state. There were no other occupants.
"That shouldn't surprise anybody." Brown's lawyer, Albert "Buddy" Dallas, explained. "It's public record that James Brown's been dead since Christmas, 2006".
What was surprising to police and to Dallas was that the corpse of James Brown blew three times over the limit. To add further mystery to the events, just previous to the arrest, a 911 call regarding spousal abuse was received from Brown's former residence.
Although a litany of charges, including driving under the influence of alcohol, were brought against the deceased, all have since been dropped by the district attorney's office. The judge in the preliminary hearing sided with the position of Brown's attorney. It was Dallas' position that, as Brown was indeed deceased, he was unable to vigorously defend himself; a right guaranteed under the constitution of the United States.
Since his death, James Brown has been resting in a temporary crypt on the property of his former residence.
The Governor's office has since decided to look into repealing some of the statutes regarding proper burial.
