TSA agents to be outfitted with Dick Cheney's X-Ray comic book glasses

Written by Robert W. Armijo

Friday, 11 April 2008

image for TSA agents to be outfitted with Dick Cheney's X-Ray comic book glasses
TSA agents to be outfitted with X-Ray comic book glasses. So wear clean underwear.

Washington, DC - A photo of Dick Cheney testing out a pair of new TSA X-Ray glasses was accidentally leaked to the press today. The new glasses are the latest security measure to be introduced to the TSA to help search for any weapons or bombs that terrorist may be attempting to smuggle on their person. Cheney was the one who came up with the idea, while thumbing through the back of some old comic books and Mad Magazines with Bush at the White House a few months back.

"Bush saw the comic book ad and ordered a pair," said a White House spokesman. "And he was so disappointed when they finally arrived six weeks later, only to found out that they did not work."

However, apparently not as disappointed as Cheney, who then ordered the government to award another no-bid necessary contract to his old pals at Halliburton to make the eyeglasses work.

Six months and several billion dollars later, after Halliburton subcontracted the X-Ray glasses contract to a small magic and discount Halloween custom store in Hoboken, New Jersey, Cheney got a pair of X-Ray eyeglasses that actually worked.

Cheney was so happy that he ran into the Oval Office to show the President. Only by then, the President had became disinterested and moved on to playing a mean game of Jacks and Pickup Sticks.

Cheney, however, saw the potential in them. Wasting no time, he started wearing them all the time.

So for the past weeks, before the photo of him wearing the X-Ray glasses was leaked to the media, Cheney has been seen painting the town red, attending disco clubs late into the night and attending every social event and seen at every location where there were women by day.

Reportedly, Cheney showed up unannounced and would volunteer to give speeches Women's Clubs and was even seen hanging out in front of women's health spas, acting as a Wal-Mart department store greeter, opening the door for women as they entered and bidding them a good-bye as they left.

"He even met with some members on the Left," said a Washington insider, who asked to be identified. "Having several private meetings with leaders of the Nation Organization of Women (NOW)."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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