Written by Pointer

Friday, 11 April 2008

image for College Mumps Outbreaks Surpass STD's!
Even some professors are getting mumps from humping!

College students are coming down with the mumps so often that university health centers believe the disease has surpassed sexually transmitted infections.

Jenny Talia of the STD section of the CDC admits that US halls of higher learning are riddled with herpes, warts, Chlamydia and yes, mumps:

"Our hallowed halls remind me of the villages of the Middle Ages where the Black Death stalked every citizen. Freshman fifteen has given way to meningitis epidemics and 40% of our baccalaureate chasers are carrying some infectious microbe on their way to the sheepskin. Next thing we will learn is that you can get hoof in mouth from your diploma!"

When Dr Jenny Talia was asked what was the most common way mumps are being spread among US undergrads she expressed the opinion that it's what's happening under the covers that is infecting undergrads: "Mumps can be spread by humping!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: college, STDs




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
93 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more