Nursing Home for Aging Muslims Takes on New Meaning

Funny story written by CommonMan

Thursday, 24 May 2007

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Nursing Home for Aging Muslims Takes on New Meaning
A female member of staff takes a cigarette break

The Al Sukh en'Ip Home for the Aged has taken a recent fatwa, or religious edict, by Al-Azhar University cleric Ezzat Attiya and extended it to the care of its residents.

According to the Jerusalem Post, Ezzat Attiya had issued a fatwa, or religious edict, saying adult men could breast-feed from female work colleagues as a way to avoid breaking Islamic rules that forbid men and women from being alone together.

Effective immediately, the female staff will be allowed to care for the male residents as long as they first allow the male patients to suckle on their breasts.

Since the staff at Al Sukh is largely female, the male residents occasionally go unattended far too long, according to a relative of one of the male patients at Al Sukh. "Now, perhaps they will provide better care for my father in his waning years," said Hassan Hussein.

The home administrator, Ahmed al-Qassam, is delighted about the new fatwa as he will now be able to staff the home more inexpensively with a female staff and provide the male patients more activities during the day that they were not able to enjoy with the limited male staff. "Just at the announcement of the fatwa, our male residents seemed more vibrant and alive. I am very hopeful that by implementing this new level of care and compassion, the quality of life for this group of patients will improve greatly."

Female staff were unavailable for comment as Mr. al-Qassam was not able to provide a qualified male chaperon and most of the female staff were visiting with their male patients for the first time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more