Clinton Wants New Cabinet to Combat Government Waste

Funny story written by J. Wesmon

Thursday, 24 May 2007

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Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton proposes new cabinet

Des Moines, Iowa - Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY), Candidate for the Democratic Party Presidential nomination, told an audience of war veterans in this mostly conservative city in the heartlands, that if she were elected President she would create a new cabinet level position to regulate waste and fraud in government spending.

"Many government services are duplicated between departments," Mrs. Clinton admitted. "And many services currently provided by private enterprises or non-profit organizations could be better delivered by Washington to assure that all Americans can share equally in the benefits."

"With the savings and additional revenue made available by managing wasteful spending in the public and private sectors," she continued, "we would be able afford health care for all children and seniors, especially veterans."

An overview of the proposal, released simultaneously by the Senator's staffs in Washington, New York, and Los Angeles, proposes the new position of Secretary of Redundancy. The department's primary purpose would be to maximize revenue by streamlining governmental processes. The head of this new "super-department", would have mostly non-authoritative jurisdiction over the other cabinets but would have regulatory control of private services that overlap with governmental services.

Nicknamed the Czar Czar, this cabinet level position would head the new Department of Redundancy Department or DRD, which would have advisory authority over the departments of Energy, Education, Labor, and Defense. Homeland Security would only be subordinate to the DRD in matters of budget, and the Department of Finance would report to the DRD on alternate Mondays, holidays, and full moons. Other departments' responsibilities to the DRD will be determined by the recommendations of a proposed Senate Oversight Redundancy Commission which will review the results of a House of Representatives' special panel convened to evaluate a bipartisan Redundancy Commission Report, which the Senator intends to sponsor in the Senate in the next session.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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