Lesbian scare tempts wrath of Allah

Funny story written by Jack Battler

Thursday, 24 May 2007

image for Lesbian scare tempts wrath of Allah
Army of lesbians?

LONDON-- The Guardian online news source is apologizing today after a typo in a recent headline set off a flurry of anger and confusion during a tense time in Northern Lebanon yesterday.

Muslim clerics and Palestinian leaders were in an uproar over the bogus headline that read "Lesbian Army to enter refugee camp".

"It's shameful," said one Palestinian cleric. "We consider homosexuality among women to be an act of sin against Allah himself. Even for men it is pretty bad, but for women it is even worse! We have it on pretty good authority that Muhammed was never a lesbian so he should be the example for all of us."

A tense feeling of nervous relief hung over Nahr al-Bared refugee camp last night as residents struggled to understand what it all means.

"I kept asking myself 'How have we offended Allah so much that he would send in a bunch of lesbians,'" said Elina Harib al Denar, who lives in the camp. "I have always tried to be a good Muslim woman. I always do what my father and husband tell me, cover myself properly in public, and never cry out too loud when I am beaten. So it really made me upset to think a whole army of scary lesbians would overrun the camp."

The Guardian editorial staff said only that they regret the error and no insult against Islam was intended and also that they "hoped no one from the religion of peace would blow up" their offices.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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