Cutty Sark arson sparks Royal Yacht Britannia 'Pirates' fears

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 24 May 2007

image for Cutty Sark arson sparks Royal Yacht Britannia 'Pirates' fears
The Royal Yacht Britannia has always looked like an old mackerel trawler

Edinburgh - (Ass Mess): This week's torching of the iconic 19th century clipper the Cutty Sark has led to fears that disgruntled movie watchers sickened by the pitiful 'Pirates of the Caribbean: The World's End' rehash may try to trash the hysteric Royal Yacht Britannia at her Ocean Terminal moorings at Leith, Edinburgh.

The Britannia was decommissioned ten years ago after its final voyage rescuing pretender to the throne Prince Charles and Hong Kong ex-Governor Chris Patten and family from the handover of the British colony to the People's Republic of China on Princess Diana's official birthday of 1st July 1997.

The vessel was refurbished and now acts as a chinese restaurant and tourist attraction for the witless masses.

It is owned by a charitable truss which sells icky porcelain and china models of the yacht as well as rubber dolls depicting members of the House of Mountbatten including a lifesize replica Old Fatty Moutbatten herself, her corgis and her Buck House lackeys.

Plans for the Britannia to apply for registry office status will mean that even more gullible morons will now be able to share in her glorious heritage by tying the knot aboard her fabled poop deck before feasting on the Cantonese delicacies served up in the Ho Lee Fook on-board restaurant.

A police source has confirmed that security is being stepped up this weekend after the Cutty Sark incident.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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