New sinister black wheelie bins will be given new powers to spy on members of the public.
As well as being fitted with electronic sensors which will be used to spy on the amount of rubbish in people's bins as they are taxed on how much waste they make, they will also be fitted with recording equipment and authorised to give on the spot fines.
Mrs Ada Grocott of Manchester reported her new wheelie bin to the police after finding it creeping closer and closer to her bungalow window. The bin later submitted a report on Mrs Grocott and an on the spot fine was issued for lewd behaviour.
Mrs Grocott commented tearfully, "My grandson was terrified, the bin read him his rights, he's only three."
The bins are expected to start patrolling streets once owners are asleep in an effort to replace foot patrols.
"Woe betide any criminal who encounters one of our wheelie bins late at night," said a council spokesman today.
Tony Blair today hailed the bins as a success and said it was a waste of time trying to rubbish their role.