Queen Not Amused at Bush's Fart Joke
A source inside the White House said that in honor of the Queen's visit, the President saved his best fart joke for their white-tie state dinner. The President's mother, Barbara Bush, in attendance, apologized afterwards to Her Majesty and sa...
Read full storyTony Blair thanks people of Earth
In a moving farewell speech. Prime Minister Tony Blair thanked the people of Planet Earth for the last 10 years and said that it was a privilege to be their leader.
Read full storyEx-BP Corrupt Bastard Browne booted off Goldman Sax
Wall Street - (Ass Mess): Ex-BP chairman and honorary Corrupt Bastards Club member Lord Browne was finally booted off the Goldmnan Sax board after New York financial regulators said he was one liability too many for the investment bank's balance...
Read full storyNew World Order guitarist reveals split
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Legendary GOP pop Band New World Order have split up, according to guitarist and EU lead vocalist Tony Blair.
Read full storyFormer Japanese Prime Minister Stars in Porn Film
Vivid Entertainment today announced that Junichiro Koizumi will be starring in its upcoming reality porn film, "I Rub You." Koizumi, who was widely reported to be quite the womanizer during his days in politics, will carry out a similar rol...
Read full storyWiccans side with Al Sharpton over Mitt Romney bigotry fears
Washington DC - (Rioters): The World Council of Matriarchy issued a statement today broadly backing the Rev Al Sharpton's bigotry jibe that says ex-Governor Mitt Romney has yet to come off the fence viz his personal beliefs about the segregation...
Read full storyPhil Spector Murder Trial Lacks 'Race Card' to Play; Causes Court TV's Less than stellar Ratings
Los Angeles, California - In the trial of his life, Phil Spector, accused of murdering actress, Lana Clarkson, at his Alhambra mansion in Southern California in 2003, has been covered in the regular media and carried on the salacious cable show Court...
Read full storyVECO Corrupt Bastards gave GOP $1+ million
Juneau - (Ass Mess): Two senior VECO executives who have turned in plea bargains over bribing Corrupt Bastards Club Alaskan state legislators have surrendered documents showing their bribery of GOP congressional candidates and George W Bush to be in...
Read full storyGod Gives Bush Timeline to Withdraw Troops Bush Vows to Veto
US President George W. Bush, known for his many conversations with God, may have hit a snag in their relationship. God has joined Democrats in urging the President to provide a timeline for withdrawl of US troops from Iraq.
Read full storyAG Gonzales' memory does not improve
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, appearing before Congress today to answer questions about fired U.S. attorneys, claimed that he does not remember his own name. When committee chairman John Conyers tried to begin questioning, Gonzales did not respo...
Read full storyBush hails Blair and offers internship
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): President Bush hailed UK prime Monster Tony Blair today and said he accepted the news of his resignation from office with sadness not least because he knew that Blair 'has had it coming' after the Queen informed hi...
Read full storyBush Has Successful Speech, No Word Stumbles
Topeka, KS - Bush today conducted a flawless and invigorating speech to an assembled crowd at the United Economic Development Conglomerates meeting. There were no spoonerisms, malapropisms, stumblings or misspeakings of any kind; not even the meres...
Read full storyHow 'bout Those Pops?
BOSTON, Mass. - Two men, possibly under the influence of their wives, found themselves at a Boston Pops concert against their will.
Read full storyBlair: I hate Gordon Brown
Tony Blair threw the Labour Party into further turmoil today by announcing that he 'hates' his probable successor and long-term political ally Gordon Brown.
Read full story'Uncle Jesse' From Dukes of Hazzard On National Book Tour
Tyree, Mississippi - Jesse Duke came roaring into town today, not in a Dodge Challenger or an old beat-up red pickup, but in an unassuming Ford Taurus.
Read full storyPrison Break's new member
Top TV show Prison Break is set to cast a new character in Season 3. TheSpoof.com can exclusively reveal that it is in fact Hollywood Super Bitch Paris Hilton. Cast member Wentworth Miller was not happy with this decision.
Read full storyBush Replaces Petraeus: Patton Resurrected
President Bush today, in the face of growing pressure about the war in Iraq, announced that General George Patton would replace General David Petraeus as commander of the Multinational Force in Iraq.
Read full storyFeds probe Michael Moore's Cuba healthcare probe
Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): FBI officers are probing Oscar winner Michael Moore's recent shenanigans in Cuba where the 'Bowling for Columbine' and 'Farenheit:9/11' movie maker was investigating the US State Secrets-classified identi...
Read full storyMetropolitan Police to replace safety cameras with Japanese tourists
The Metropolitan Police are to replace safety cameras with Japanese tourists. The Commissioner said "There's already a Japanese tourist taking a picture on every street in London, sometimes more than one. They're low-maintenance, polite,...
Read full storyU.S. Defense Department Punked By Canada
Ultra paranoid U.S. Defense Department officials freaked out earlier this year when they found what they believed to be spy technology embedded within a harmless Canadian 25 cent piece.
Read full storyBlair Steps Down
An almost great showbiz entertainer finally hangs up his dancing shoes today.
Read full storyMitt Romney counters bigotry jibe
Aldrich Ames, IOU - (Ass Mess): The US bigotry-slamming war intensified today as former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney defended his religious belief in being able to secure the Republican as well as the national vote for the 2008 White House foll...
Read full storyPope flies in for a Brazilian
Sao Paulo - (Ass Mess): Pope Ratzinger has arrived in Brazil for the start of a gruelling five day stay that will see him receive professional attention for all his Brazilian needs which are said to be extensive.
Read full storyRemains of hippy discovered in Peace Camp hole
HELENSBURGH, Scotland - The remains of a body estimated to have lain for 25 years in a hole at Faslane Peace Camp opposite the Trident nuclear submarine base, has been discovered.
Read full storyAttention-seeking disorder at heart of Blair psychosis say shrinks
London - (Ass Mess): The political career of UK Prime Monster Tony Blair is rooted in a psychotic craving for attention according to medical personnel who have treated the Bushes' number one toerag for over thrity years.
Read full storyBlair resignation: cops name PM's cash-for-peerages arrest date
Trimdon Colliery - (Rotters): Amid a torrent of weasel words that saw Prime Monster Tony Blair heap praise on himself and the Bush Family Evil Empire's UK mobster cartels that he has controlled for over a decade the Metropolitan Police's Seri...
Read full storyIntel Produces New Microprocessor on a Cracker
Santa Clara California - Nabisco and Intel have combined their top intellectual talent to produce the worlds fastest computer chip. It has the code name Rayon Highgluten Multi Core Estero chip.
Read full storyBono of U2 to head Hilton aid!
Dublin, (Rootarse) The charismatic U2 pop sensation, front man and hat owner, Bono, has declared to spearhead an incentive to correct what he terms "An outrageous miscarriage of justice!...
Read full storyWal-Mart Opens Hospital In Aisle Seven
Chickenport Arkansas - As an ongoing commitment to it's customers, Wal-Mart The nations top retail supermarket, retail store and oilchange facility announced that it will open a full service...
Read full storyBMW drivers "Are wankers"
Its official! The ministry of transport have announced the findings of a year long study into the behaviour of the UK's drivers.
Read full storyDead Man Walking in Scotland
A man who was declared dead at a hospital in Scotland was later found alive after officials mounted a search believing they'd lost the body.
Read full storyAltech Lansing Develops Speakers That Can Talk to God
When it comes to awesome performance in a compact design, few speaker systems compare to the Holy 1000. The thing that makes this speaker different from all others is that if you speak into them You can actually speak to God.
Read full storyNASA & BNSC To Launch Big Ben For Jupiter Mission
BRITISH NATIONAL SPACE CENTER, LONDON (SPACE:YUK)--No sooner was the ink dry on the historic "Joint Statement of Intent for Co-operation in the Field of Space Exploration" agreement signed in Washington DC, Thursday 19 Apri...
Read full storyFrance's Sarkozy Says "Let Them Eat Cake!" From Billionaire's Luxury Yacht
PARIS (AFP) -- "Let Them Eat Cake!" said Nicolas Sarkozy after winning the French presidency on Sunday from the yacht of a billionaire crony. Sarkozy also told his French countrymen to start working harder while cruising in an open air hot...
Read full storySouth Africa going through a mid-life crisis?
In the streets of Johannesburg, or Gauteng as it is known in South Africa, news has just hit the streets of Mr Jacob Zuma's new position, that of becoming an honorary priest, with the blessings of the ANC.
Read full storyGovernor Schwarzenegger Suffers Bout with Work Related Stress
Dr. Dakota Schillman, renowned Beverly Hills psychiatrist for the rich and famous, revealed to CNN's Larry King in an exclusive interview, that he had recently diagnosed California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger as an overtly hostile personality.
Read full storyGiuliani Supports Abortion
Rudy Giuliani today announced his support for abortion. Religious conservatives immediately pounced on Giuliani, with Jerry Falwell calling for the death penalty. RNC Chair Robert M. "Bobby-Mike" Duncan apologized publicly to Falwell, as th...
Read full storySupreme Court Backs Bush On Iraq
The US Supreme Court today, in a controversial 5-4 decision, announced its support for the war in Iraq. Chief Justice John Roberts, writing for the majority, explained at length how the war was a necessary act for the nation.
Read full storyBush Confused By 'Royal Throne Room' - Gaffs at Queen's Visit
Washington, DC--President Bush today misinterpreted the wishes of Queen Elizabeth when she wished to see his own stately quarters.
Read full storyBush to Allow Drilling in Alaska; EPA Mum
Washington, DC--- El Prez Bush today announced he will allow unassailed drilling all across Alaska, in order to tap believed huge reserves of oil.
Read full storyLord of The Rings Director Sent Back to Middle-Earth to make J.R.R. Tolkien's Epic Prequel to the Prequel, the absolute latest from Christopher Tolkien
London, England - After New Line Cinema announced he would not be directing The Hobbit, his reward for his box office success of his film adaptation of J.R.R Tolkein's The Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson manages to re-emerge with yet another Mid...
Read full storyO'Donnell and Trump Record Album
Well, it looks as though gazillionaire Donald Trump and outspoken, opinionated Rosie O'Donnell have made amends in order to record an album of love song duets.
Read full storyCrusty Crab Ordered to Accommodate Oxygen Breathing Patrons
On Monday, the United States Supreme Court ordered the Crusty Crab restaurant, and specifically, the sole proprietor thereof, one Eugene Crabs, to provide equal access to land based, oxygen breathing patrons.
Read full storyParis Hilton Protests Prison Garb
Paris Hilton is still protesting her 45 day prison sentence. This time, it is for a different reason. "Have you seen what I have to wear? I've got an orange jumpsuit! I've got another one that is identical for the next day, when I ha...
Read full storyBush Embarrases Himself With Queen
President George "Dubya" Bush embarrassed himself and the United States again. This time, it was in front of the Queen of England during her state visit to the U.S..
Read full storyLindsay Lohan to Play Hanoi Jane Fonda in Movie
seLindsay Lohan, tired of the verbal abuse she received from co-star Jane Fonda during the filming of Georgia Rule, has agreed to play the actress in an unauthorized film biography. The movie, "Hanoi Jane in Vietnam", will follow the daugh...
Read full storyQuarterback Doug Flutie Enters Three Hall of Fames in One Week
Former Boston College, CFL, and NFL quarterback Doug Flutie has entered three different Hall of Fames in one week. First, the Canadian Football League honored their former six time MVP with admission as their first non Canada native. Then, the coll...
Read full storyNCAA To Change 3 Point Line, Other Rules
The NCAA has decided to change the distance of the three point line to make the shot a little more difficult. The University sports governing body has also announced other changes to the game of college basketball.
Read full story2007 Hurricane Season Cancelled
Windy Storm, a spokesperson from the National Weather Service, announced today that the 2007 Hurricane season has been cancelled.
Read full storyBorat Invented Sasha Baron Cohen Character
Borat, the Ubekastani news reporter made famous by the movie of the same name actually invented the character known as Sasha Baron Cohen.
Read full storyDead Man Returns Own Casket To Costco
Ft Myers Florida - Oscar De La Yenta a former resident of Ft. Myers Florida returned a casket that was bought by his family at the Local Costco in Ft Myers Florida.
Read full storyLos Angeles Paralegal Handles Divorce Of Inflatable Doll
Los Angeles California - One of California's top paralegals Richard Tikkitokiki who works for the Prestigious Law Firm Armand Finger and a graduate Of the University of California Paralegal and Nursing academy, has agreed to take the divorce case...
Read full storyParis Hilton avoids jail in last minute deal. Governor Schwarzenegger resigns in protest.
After a frantic couple of days of appeals and over 300 lawyers burning the midnight oil poring over Californian penal legislation searching literally for a get out of jail free card Paris Hilton has been handed the needle from the proverbial haystack...
Read full storyLeaked Blair memo made Bush 'look like madman' judge told
London - (Ass Mess): An Old Bailey judge told a jury today that a leaked memo recording Oval Office talks between President Bush and Tony Blair definitely made Bush 'look like a madman' and that it would therefore be 'insane' to find...
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