Tony Blair thanks people of Earth

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Thursday, 10 May 2007

image for Tony Blair thanks people of Earth
Prime Minister Blair congratulates himself over another invasion

In a moving farewell speech. Prime Minister Tony Blair thanked the people of Planet Earth for the last 10 years and said that it was a privilege to be their leader.

"I believe", he said, "that the human species is the best species in the galaxy. I know that and believe that you the people of earth know it. Even the inhabitants of Zarkon 5 know it."

He added, "There may be some who think I made mistakes, like the invasion of Planet Krypton to find planet destroying weapons, which were clearly well-hidden by former Emperor Ming the Bearded. And I regret the deaths of 1,000,000 inhabitants of that sorry world. But I will tell you this, I believe I did everything for the good of this planet. You may disagree with me, that's your call, though I will probably zap you if you do."

There wasn't a dry eye in the audience.

And in a stirring moment of global unity, President and Uber Fuhrer Bush of the United States Consortium video phoned Blair and said "Yo, Blair, fetch me another beer from the cooler".

However, Prime Minister Blair's resignation has not yet been accepted by the Good Queen of England, who is still the head of state. Observers have pointed out that under employment legislation introduced by Blair himself, senior employees of any organisation are required to give three months notice of their resignation. A partner from city firm Grabbit & Runn said "Blair gave 6 weeks notice, so technically he could be made to work another 6 weeks, though it is more likely he will be put on gardening leave."

However, this is a remote prospect, since, no sooner had Prime Minister Blair finished his speech than a bright light opened in the sky above him and he was sucked upwards and into the heavens.

There was an incredible silence as hundreds of onlookers gazed upwards in awe at the sight of their glorious leader, clothed in a mantle of pure light, ascending to another plane of existence. The silence was finally broken by a Scottish voice asking "Has he gone yet?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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