Crusty Crab Ordered to Accommodate Oxygen Breathing Patrons

Funny story written by Sal Manella

Thursday, 10 May 2007

image for Crusty Crab Ordered to Accommodate Oxygen Breathing Patrons
Supreme Court orders Crusty Crab to comply with federal civil rights legislation

On Monday, the United States Supreme Court ordered the Crusty Crab restaurant, and specifically, the sole proprietor thereof, one Eugene Crabs, to provide equal access to land based, oxygen breathing patrons.

The nation's highest court struck down last year's decision by a federal court in Bikini Bottom, which ruled that the Crusty Crab was in compliance with federal civil rights legislation, despite its lack of accommodation for oxygen breathers.

A visibly despondent Mr. Crabs told reporters that he may have to close his popular establishment because of the expense involved in attaining compliance with today's decision by the high court. "I'm ruined boy. There goes all me money," Crabs lamented.

Sal Manella
Legal Correspondent

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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