How does religion work?

Funny story written by sharkastic

Thursday, 10 May 2007

How does religion work then?

There's this chap, god. He's got lots of different names depending on what flavour of religion you're into. As far as I can make out, what he says goes. You don't argue with him 'coz he knows best. He knows better than you what's good for you and for everyone else.

God sometimes acts like a real bastard but we're not to criticize. After all, god knows best. His word is law; god rules OK.

In his wisdom, or more likely his sick, perverted sense of humour, there's nothing god likes more than shitting on you from a great height. Mind you, considering how his creation has turned out it's hardly surprising. He's probably turning in his grave.

So out of the blue, god suddenly decides that it's your turn to be shat upon. "Let's see," he asks himself, "what horror can I inflict on this poor sap. He hasn't done anything to deserve it but I'm god so I can do what I like." Maybe he'll give you cancer, kill your missus in an accident, have your kid die. Just be thankful that he's singled you out for preferential treatment and be grateful that you're part of his big plan.

OK, that's what the church teaches us. They don't quite put it like that of course, but that's the overall picture. Worship god, give thanks to god, trust in god coz he knows best. Never mind that he's a complete tosser.

So where does praying come into the equation; that's what I'd like to know. When we pray we're generally asking god to change something that we don't like e.g. cure our cancer. But if giving us cancer is part of god's great plan, who are we to ask him to change his mind? Why should he change his mind? He knows best, after all, so he must have given us cancer for a reason. Isn't it arrogance to pray and ask him to change his plans for our convenience?

Can anyone tell me how religion works, coz I sure as hell don't know.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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