Kidman in zombie state after crash
Los Angeles, Ca - (Rioters): Actress Nicole Kidman is reported to be hospitalised in a zombie state tonight after crashing a car in a carcrash scene during the filming of her latest movie The Invasion.
Read full storyDowning Street Denies Secret E Mail account
In a dramatic twist in the latest 'Cash for Peerages' debacle, Downing Street was today denying that it has a secret communication system for exclusive use by the premier and his aides.
Read full storyActor in Blood Bank Blunder
Actor and 'hard throb' Sean Bean was at the heart of a health blunder today.
Read full storyBritney Spears is NOT the Paint to My Canvas
It happened. I finally got recognized from my humble Vlog, Ed-E-torial. It was kind of flattering, but also kind of scary in a Robert Bardo/Rebecca Schaeffer kind of way. I, like Rebecca, really don't need a bodyguard. However, there might just be that one loon, who slips between the cracks or shoots through the screen door as it were.
Read full storyRumor: Paul McCartney, Heather Mills Reach $876 Kajillion Bajillion Divorce Settlement
LONDON - Sources close to someone who once owned a copy of the Beatles' Rubber Soul album are reporting today that ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney has reached a divorce settlement with his estranged ex-wife, one-legged supermodel Heather Mills, wort...
Read full storyNoel Proves That God Moves in Deal or No Deal Ways
Noel Edmonds, host of pass-the-parcel game show Deal or No Deal, revealed today that a higher force is at work on the show, and he has proof.
Read full storyIan 'H' Watkins wants summit with Sir Elton
Ian 'H' Watkins current celebrity housemate in the Big Brother House, has expressed a wish to have talks with Champion Homosexual Sir Elton John, it was revealed today.
Read full storyRobbie Williams In Home For The Deluded
Sad news reaching us today that pop star, Robbie Williams, is in a home for the deluded in Beverly Hills Yorkshire, with little or no prospect of coming out again.
Read full storyFederer gutted
Melbourne Park - (Rioters): World tennis superstar Roger Federer admitted he was utterly gutted at having to play three sets in one hour and twenty three minutes in order to wipe the floor with number six seed Andy Roddick in the Australian Open semi...
Read full storyBig Brother Eviction Plans unveiled
Plans for Friday nights eviction have been leaked to The Spoof today from an inside source.
Read full storyBig Ron Banned from Channel 4 for "Being too Liberal"
Shamed soccer pundit "Big" Ron Atkinson has lost out on a lucrative reality TV "Golden Handcuffs" deal with Channel 4 because he is simply "not controversial enough" for their ambitious Spring schedule.
Read full storyShilpa Currys No Favour In The Big Brother House
Big Brother contestant, Shilpa Shetty, is today admitting that perhaps Jade might have had some cause for the boorish behaviour and nasty attitude she displayed when she was in the house.
Read full storyUnemployment among Childrens TV Characters at an all time high
Westminster- Gordon Brown Nose was under increasing pressure today to explain government figures that reveal increasing levels of unemployment among children's TV characters. Since BBC publicly fired Mr Blobby and he was forced to clean out urina...
Read full storyOwens named AP Sports Writer Asshole of the Year
NEW YORK -- In a landslide, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens was nominated the Associated Press Sports Writers "Asshole of the Year" Wednesday night.
Read full storyBush: "Henry Ford was a great president"
WASHINGTON, DC -- In yet another twist to his ever-changing saga, President George W. Bush yesterday referred to former President Gerald Ford as "Henry Ford" during his weekly radio address to the nation.
Read full storyFormer Christians sue churches, cite emotional distress
SALT LAKE CITY -- Attorneys for former Christians in America announced today they will file a lawsuit against all Christian churches for false advertising and emotional distress, according to documents filed in the US 3rd District Court in Utah.
Read full storyRonald McDonald in kiss and tell
Atlanta- Ronald McDonald was not answering questions today from his Mansion in Atlanta Georgia after it was revealed that after a hard day mindwashing the nations children into eating vile fast food that brings about premature heart disease, cancer a...
Read full storyTurds and Shites reach settlement in Iraqi Government Coalition
Baghdad- 'It is a great day for this great country' said US Secretary of State and hot chick Condaliza Rice. The leaders of the Shite community and the Northern Turds, got round the table today and agreed that they would stop pointing their g...
Read full storyBNP dull without racism says Celebrity Big Brother TV channel
London - (Rotters): A Channel 4 TV chief said today that recent racist ourbursts on Celebrity Big Brother only proved that the British National Party is dull without its UK primetime cheerleaders and could otherwise be mistaken for UKIP or Respect or...
Read full storyLondon Borough of Hackney Retains Britains most Wasteful Award
London - Faceless, winging, scumbag, lazy ass, worthless, civil servant, cockroaches will raise a glass wine at the expense of the long suffering tax payers this evening as predictably the London Borough of Hackney retained its title as 'Britains...
Read full storyAmnesty international claim Camp X-ray 'not fit for human habitation'
President Bush reacted angrily to the damning report from Amnesty International, which claimed that America's highest profile detention centre, Camp X-ray, 'was not fit to keep shit in.'...
Read full storyWalmart Sells Dollar for Less Than a Dollar
Walmart becomes the first corporation in the history of mankind to sell a dollar for less than a dollar. At midnight tonight, the cut-price dollar will be unveiled at all Walmart stores, and...
Read full storyTeach Yourself Brain Surgery in 21 Minutes
Reed Reed (real name), author of the blockbuster booklet, "Learn Nuclear Physics During Springer" has once again blown the lid off the New Jersey Times Bestseller list with his hot new booklet (illegal in 17 states) "Teach...
Read full storyeBay For Sale on eBay, and It's Too Big to Handle
eBay, the world's largest garage sale website, is in danger of selling the entire universe due to an administrative error. eBay itself has somehow become listed as an auction item, and is
Read full storyShipwrecked Lucy Buchanan Accuses India Of Torpedo Atrocity
Lucy Buchanan, the youngest member of the crew of the stricken tanker, the MSC Napoli, was last night embroiled in the ongoing controversy between Britain and India.
Read full storyJade Goody In New Oil Slick Carnage
A second disaster off the Devon coast has emerged after another cargo ship, the MSC Grand Wizard, ran aground on rocks.
Read full story"My Booze Hell" By Top Soap Star
Troubled star, Jim McFoibles, has admitted today that he is back on the drink again and fears for his own future.
Read full storyBig Dig Down The Big Brother House
Sensational news reaching us from Elstree about the troubled Channel 4 Big Brother house. There has been some sort of 'incident' it seems. Reports are sketchy but as far as we can glean it seems that the house has been stormed by three geriatric...
Read full storyCelebrity Big Brother Fiasco - India Mobilises Armed Forces
From tiny acorns do giant oak trees grow. Last week, Big Brother housemates Jade Goody and Shilpa Shetty clashed swords in front of millions of TV viewers worldwide. From Goody, raw racist bigotry; from Shetty, polite passivity.
Read full storyShilpa Shetty Due To Open Balti House In Soho Soon
Shilpa Shetty, the high profile victim of racial abuse in channel 4's disgraceful big brother, has announced that she intends to open a Balti House when the show finishes on Sunday evening.
Read full storySpongeBob Begs, "Don't Nuke Me"
His heart skipped a beat when he read that a researcher had suggested that sponges should be sterilized for two minutes in the microwave.
Read full storyBush Asks for One More Chance to Slaughter American Troops
During his State of the Union Address on Tuesday, George Bush called on all Americans to give him one more chance to send American troops into harms way in Iraq.
Read full storyCheney Had Explosive Diarrhea During State Of the Union
Medical experts utilizing the latest in Computer Long Distant Technology (CLDT) demonstrated the sophistication of this new technology by diagnosing Dick cheney's explosive diarrhea attack during Bush's big speech.
Read full storyBritish commentators on Bushlair Blush State of the Union
Bushlair Blush is the name being given to the phenomenon of the merging of UK PM Blair and US Court Jester Bush. Videographic experts and psychic advisors claim that the conjoined twins appeared on telly screens and in the mind's eye of psychics...
Read full storyScooterino Libbinni Squeals:"It's A Set-Up!
You could almost hear the mandolin play as Scooterino Libbini violated the code of silence in the mob family trial of the former consiglieri of the Bushfoono crime organization. Libbini sang like a Sicilian canary as he accused Bushfoono higher-ups o...
Read full storyGeorge Michael to Replace Arrested Public Health Adviser
ATLANTA - Centers for Disease Control and Prevention spokesman Glen Nowak announced today that public health expert Dr. Hugh H. Tilson, recently arrested on suspicion of public indecency at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, has been r...
Read full storyMSNBC Hires Dan Patrick as Part of Olbermann Renewal Deal
SECAUCUS, N.J. - The cable news industry was rocked by the news today that MSNBC has retained the services of top anchorman Keith Olbermann by agreeing to renew his contract at a record $5 million for another three years--and to hire his old ESPN
Read full storyL.A.P.D. and French Police Departments Face Off; Dance In Swan Lake Mating Ritual
In what is being touted as L.A.'s version of "Dance of the Sugar-Plumb Ferries" L.A.P.D. and French motorcycle policemen squared off with their Yamahas, curtsied to one another and began a week-long dance that culminated with the Golden...
Read full storyGeico Gecko Run Over In Pedestrian Accident
The Geico Auto Insurance spokes-gecko was run over and killed Tuesday in a pedestrian accident. The six inch tall reptile was crossing a busy New York street to get a taxi and was not seen by a UPS delivery truck.
Read full storyInsiders Reveal Hillary Clinton Uses Bill Voodoo Doll
Insiders in the offices of New York Senator and Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton leaked to the press information that she is using a voodoo doll of the former President to force him to help her with her campaign.
Read full storyThumb of Peyton Manning to Play Part in Super Bowl Odds
Peyton Manning's thumb on his passing hand, injured in a helmet connection with a teammate on a pass play, will play a critical role in the February 4th Super Bowl game. Manning, the quarterback for the AFC's Indianapolis Colts, may not have...
Read full storyGeorge Lucas Announces Newest Star Wars Film Actors
George Lucas, creator and owner of the Star Wars universe, unveiled more detailed plans for the seventh, eighth, and ninth movies in the series. From his private ranch in California, he held a press conference today to discuss the new films and the...
Read full story"Bullet racing" craze hits big cities
A new sport is sweeping the nation. Bullet racing as it is called, is a big hit with inner city kids, especially African American youth.
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Hire New Head Coach
The question on everyone's lips at the Jerry Jones surprise press conference was who was to be announced as the new head coach of America's team, the NFL Dallas Cowboys. Speculation has been rampant in Dallas and all of Texas about the ident...
Read full storyState of Louisiana Vows To "Kick President's Ass"
The state of Louisiana vowed to "kick President Bush's ass" for failing to mention their ongoing struggle to rebuild in his State of the Union address last night. In a statement made by Walter Leger, a citizen member of the Louisiana Re...
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