Written by politicalpop

Thursday, 25 January 2007

image for Noel Proves That God Moves in Deal or No Deal Ways
The Spoof's reporters were seized at Noel's secret camp

Noel Edmonds, host of pass-the-parcel game show Deal or No Deal, revealed today that a higher force is at work on the show, and he has proof.

In a statement designed to attract more lucrative US TV companies to the show, Channel 4 said that a higher force had revealed itself to Noel in a dressing room, and without referring directly to God, they said it was a man with a white beard who told Noel that believers would be well rewarded.

Countering criticism that the show pandered to simple-minded pagans who like to keep their fingers crossed when crossing the road, a Channel 4 spokesman said:

'Noel has indeed taken holy orders. He'd been praying that something like this would happen to save flagging ratings, and lo, there was a blinding light. Noel came out of his dressing room wearing a sheet saying bless you my son.'

The show, which used to be full of spooky new-age mumbo-jumbo, now encourages contestants to pray to win big. Contestants are holed-up in at a secret location for weeks on end while they receive religious indoctrination before each show. Deal or No Deal goes out on a number of US networks as Pray or Die Poor, but is struggling to beat off the more popular rival, So You Want to Go To Heaven.

One simple-minded discredited contestant who won 1p and couldn't remember his own name, Reg Varmint, said:

'It's like the bleedin' mormons in there. Noel's going round like the pope dishing out hail Marys claiming he's talked to the banker an' that.'

Channel 4 refused to confirm or deny any religious bias, but said there was no way they'd have anyone on the show with a brain, because that just spoils the whole idea that lady luck smiles on the blessed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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