Insiders in the offices of New York Senator and Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton leaked to the press information that she is using a voodoo doll of the former President to force him to help her with her campaign.
A source that refused to be named said that, "whenever the woman wants to know how to schmooze a governor, she goes for the doll. If Bill won't tell her, he opens up after she gets a match and gives the ugly little thing a hot foot."
"When she needs insider information on some congressman to get him to give her support or drop out of the race, she puts a knife to the doll's bottom and Bill won't shut up."
"If she sees him with Monica or some other young, hot, secret service agent all she has to do is pour ice water on the doll's crotch and Bill is johnny on the spot with whatever she wants."
"Just last week, she had Bill running out to get her a cheeseburger from an all night drive-thru just by dipping the doll's head in her coffee and holding it there."
"I can't have imagined what would have happened to the poor man if she'd had this during the Lewinsky scandal! I also wonder if this isn't why he had to have his heart surgery?"
Hillary refused to comment on the accusations, but did ask if the reporter who asked her the question had ever been to Jamaica and would mind sending his picture there."