eBay, the world's largest garage sale website, is in danger of selling the entire universe due to an administrative error. eBay itself has somehow become listed as an auction item, and is bidding for itself. No one knows how to stop it, and the account has been closed. However, the auction continues, and it's about to reach the upper limit of the numbering system as it draws in entire countries. Scientists are racing to build servers to contain more zeroes to prevent an overload situation.
An eBay spokesman, Scotty McEnterprise: 'At first we thought it was some geeky kid having fun, but then our servers started to heat up, and there's no way she's gonna take any more.'
The UK, eBay's largest country, has been bought by Mrs. Pet Lugger in Newcastle:
'Way-ay, mon. What ma' gonna do w'it? What next, like?'
eBay, which is so large it can be seen from outer space, is the world's largest thing ever. Experts fear the prospect of a cyber-vortex situation, a theoretical state whereby all servers get sucked into a spinning mass of junk you can't be bothered to throw away.
The World Environment Agency's response is simply to stay indoors, and hope this thing passes over France. If you have any ideas how to save the universe from being sold on eBay, email the Science Desk, and we'll send your suggestions to a greater force at work.