Westminster- Gordon Brown Nose was under increasing pressure today to explain government figures that reveal increasing levels of unemployment among children's TV characters. Since BBC publicly fired Mr Blobby and he was forced to clean out urinals in Kings Cross Station a wave of dismissals for children's characters has swept the country.
Regular readers of The Spoof will remember this newpaper first exposed this trend in the report in 2001 when Zippy, George and Bungle from Rainbow were identified employed at a cheap brothel in Derby. The Scum newspaper last week reported Bagpuss selling cocaine at Victoria Train Station and living in a squat with Bill and Ben, the flowerpot men.
Children's favourites the Telly Tubbies live a similar life of heroin, cocaine and ecstacy - though neighbours say that they have always lived in such conditions - which is why they are always so mashed when they are on TV.