Shilpa Shetty, the high profile victim of racial abuse in channel 4's disgraceful big brother, has announced that she intends to open a Balti House when the show finishes on Sunday evening.
She told The Spoof:
"Now my Bollywood career is on the skids, that's why I came into Big Brother by the way, I can see many opportunities opening up for me here in the UK. I expect that I will be in demand on the chat show and magazine circuit and I have Jade Goody to thank for it all".
Ms. Shetty is an accomplished cook and a source close to the beauty comments:
"Shilpa is a dab hand with the pots and pans and when you go round her gaff she puts on a great plate of grub. And not just Indian either. She's got scampi in the basket well sorted too but maybe give her roast chicken a miss eh?"
Shilpa is said to very excited at the prospect of owning her own restaurant and 'The House of Jade' opens in London's trendy Soho next month.