Shipwrecked Lucy Buchanan Accuses India Of Torpedo Atrocity

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 25 January 2007

Lucy Buchanan, the youngest member of the crew of the stricken tanker, the MSC Napoli, was last night embroiled in the ongoing controversy between Britain and India.

Lucy, 13, has hit the headlines after accusing the Indian Navy of firing a torpedo at the Napoli, causing it to lose its cargo of very desirable household effects in the English Channel.

Employed as Ship's Bike on the Napoli, the sister ship of Captain Jade Goody's MSC Grand Wizard, the bubbly blond bimbo gave a gruesome account of her terrifying ordeal.

From the direction of the Grand Wizard, she said, which was 200 yards off the Napoli's starboard bow, she heard "a really loud explosion which was not one of Captain Jade's farts", and hit the deck.
Everything then became a blur, she went on, until some time later when she awoke on a Pacific Island to find herself part of a new reality TV show called Shitwrecked.

Lucy, who is pro-slavery, said, "I'm for the British Empire. I don't like blackies, lesbians, fat or ugly people. I know it was a torpedo. I've had one up me backbox several times".

Shipwrecked will be on Channel 4 all too soon.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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