Nude fish wrestling grips Tinsel town's finest
All nude male fish wrestling has captured the imagination of some of Hollywood's brightest stars.
Read full storyJessica Simpson denies plot to overthrow Pakistani government
"Dukes of Hazard" cardboard cutout Jessica Simpson has denied allegations that she planned a coup to overthrow President Musharaff's government in Pakistan. "I did...
Read full storyHorror writer Steven King in legal battle with panda
"Carrie" writer Steven King is locked in a tense legal battle with a 4 year old female panda. Lawyers for the bamboo-loving mammal, which lives at San Francisco zoo, claim she wrote Kings as yet unpublished...
Read full storyGrape Crushing: Next TV Hit?
Stu Francis, the 1980's children's TV presenter is to team up with Timmy Mallet for a game show.
Read full storyWikipedia to be sold to The Spoof!
Cyberspace - (Ass Mess): Universities, historical archives, news agencies and law enforcement organizations around the world have applauded the decision to sell online reference site Wikipedia to the satirical website The Spoof! after univer...
Read full storyMarriage of happy couple goes of without hitch in Albert Square
When groom Peter Green-Smythe-Walsingham the fourth said to his his wife Tracy Jones this was the best day of his life, he just knew he was not wrong.
Read full storyLloyds TSB Bank drawn into Ralph Gonzales gay hitman theory
Florida - (Ass Mess): UK high street banking giant Lloyds TSB has been drawn into a gay hitman controversy surrounding the mysterious deaths of Flordia GOP consultant Ralph Gonzales, his room mate David Abrami and their mutual 'chum' 30 year...
Read full storyParents in Back to the Future ask very important question
Lorraine and George McFly, comedy parenting figures in Time-Travel Rom-Com space documentary and Greek Tragedy 'Back to the Future' today asked the question: 'Why does our third child, Marty, look exactly like a chap that we both met when...
Read full storyPeru's earthquake aftershocks blamed on governmental PissCo brewery
Lima, Peru - (Ass Mess): A Peruvian government brewing initiative has bombed after international aid agencies that helped the earthquake-stricken country received bottled urine by way of an official 'Thank You' from a beer factory set up by...
Read full storyGinger Nuts to take the world by cunning
Following the arrest this week of a Nineteen year old Nazi Flapjack, a cell of Ginger Nut biscuits is now planning world domination.
Read full storyLetter to the Editor - August 2007
Dear Sir, I wish to complain. Yours sincerely, Mrs Smythe Jones Barrington - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -...
Read full storyLetter to the editor - August 2007
Hang the DJ? Put the Dinner Jacket in your wardrobe, and attend a dinner party in Jeans and T Shirt. You will be the talk of the night, and...
Read full storyBrown & Buffy Re-instate 'British and Colonial Aircraft Company' to Boost Productivity in UK
BRISTOL - The frankly shabby performance of British productivity in recent years is set to change. This was the statement from Prime Minister Brown today. Leader of the opposition, David Cameron, responded by saying, "We were just thinking about...
Read full storyBush wants to intern Iraqis to mental hospitals for 'insane' opposition to his policies
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): The latest episode of the Bush-Cheney 'surge' option in Iraq plans to intern all Iraqis opposed to the US Administration into mental hospitals where they can be 'treated' for psychosis and criminal demntia...
Read full storyPM's blind truss portfolio bagman 'claiming dole benefits'
London - (Ass Mess): UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown's blind truss portfolio bagman has emerged as a dole and benefits cheat claiming disability handouts while earning over £50,000 a year as investment consultant for the PM assets.
Read full storySaudi camels 'buggered into oblivion'
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia - (Bactrian Ass Mess): Over 2,000 Saudi Arabian camels have died in mysterious circumstances during the last three months according to the country's chief veterinary officer.
Read full storyCamilla dumped from Diana cringefest
Guards Chapel, Wellington Barracks - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Camilla has been dumped from this Friday's Princess Diana cringefest after diplomatic protection cops said they could not guarantee that hordes of psychotic Diana fans would not claw her...
Read full storyNew Thames barrier could keep out immigrants
Thames Gateway, England - (Ass Mess): The construction of a new £20 billion Thames Estuary Barrier is being planned "to keep out pesky immigrants" - especially Scottish wetbacks and Sangatte Detention Camp absconders.
Read full story'Friendly fire' threatens Acropolis
Athens, Greece - (Ass Mess): The ancient Hellenic ruins of the Acropolis are being threatened by what Greek Prime Monster Costas Karamanlis has called 'friendly fire' - "the sort that suddenly kills you when you least expect it, after yo...
Read full storyLiverpool's Woe
In the wake of the shooting of an eleven year old, the City of Liverpool today asked: "Why is it always us?"...
Read full storyParents Buying Guns for Kids
Incredible statistics revealed today that 98% of teenage British boys currently own, or have owned, a gun and 95% claim to have killed somebody. The survey reveals the horrifying extent of gun crime in Britain today.
Read full storyE-legal?
No-one needs the death of twenty four American children resting on their conscience. No one needs it but due to a new internet based game many people have got it.
Read full storyAre there bananas in Dorset?
A new species of banana has been discovered by biologists in Dorset. The bananas have been previously ignored by people as they thought that they could not possibly grow in such northern climates.
Read full storyDigital mongooses invade internet
A large number of computer generated mongooses and merecats have been spread as a virus through emails. These are now making their homes in computers worldwide. Their burrows have now infested every major network in the world, and they have begun to...
Read full storyMarmite crisis in Korea
Since Korea restarted its nuclear program there have been many sanctions imposed on it by the UN and the USA. Wheat and rice have been sanctioned along side chocolate. However none of these has had a greater effect than the banned import of marmite i...
Read full storyMinistry under pressure
The ministry of obesity has come under fire today from critics who say that it is a completely useless organisation.
Read full storyStraw insists, "Gun Crime is NOT out of control!"
Government minister Jack Straw insisted this morning that gun crime was not out of control. When pressed on the shooting of an eleven year old in Liverpool, Straw countered by saying that, in general, crime rates were reducing in the United Kingdom.
Read full storyHawking replaces Keller as preferred butt of tasteless jokes
It's the end of an era: the blind/deaf American author Helen Keller {1880-1968} is no longer the preferred butt of tasteless, sick, puerile jokes made at the expense of the severely handicapped.
Read full storyAttack not sectarian claims I.R.A.
In an attack that will go down as the first non sectarian piece of violence in Northern Ireland for over 50 years, James McDonnell of Glassmill Lane, Derry, was beaten to within an inch of his life by a gang made up of both Catholics and Protestants.
Read full storyStudent 'not savagely attacked on way home'
In news just in it was claimed yesterday that student Russell Howard was not savagely attacked on his way home on Friday night.
Read full storyBeautiful lady floors Tories
In a story that will amaze and bewilder Conservative voters throughout Britain the Spoof claims today that the party is about to self destruct due to a Beautiful lady who has won the heart of it's two most prominent politicians.
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