In news just in it was claimed yesterday that student Russell Howard was not savagely attacked on his way home on Friday night.
Talking to our Home Affairs correspondent Mr Howard, who attends Leeds University in Yorkshire said, "It is true. I left the Atrium in Leeds Town Centre after watching a magnificent performance from scrummy Lily Allen at around 11:45 pm on Friday night. As I didn't want to splash out on a mini cab I decided to walk. It's a good 20 minutes to my digs and I obviously expected a damn good pasting from some local louts hell bent on 'savagely attacking a fookin' student bastard'."
He continued, "With every corner I turned I prepared myself mentally for the inevitable onslaught of fists and knives that would render me paralysed for some weeks. However it never came. I even went into a kebab house and asked for directions. You would have thought my home counties accent would have led to me being chased into one of the many Council estates in the area and being relieved of my dignity and credit cards at the very least but nothing. I arrived home safely at around 12:30am. I just can't believe this has happened to me."
However Russell's is not an isolated case. Reports are coming in of five students from Preston University arriving home safely after a Waterboys concert and more amazingly perhaps three students, all called Julien, travelled home across Birmingham Town Centre and only needed to be treated for minor injuries at the City's General Hospital.
Downing Street spokesman Hugh Ledger said today, "Surely this shows that we are winning the war against mindless violence. More and more young people are using the streets of Britain at night without getting savagely attacked by mindless yobs. Figures out next week will show that if you are walking home at the weekend you have at least a 1 in 5 chance of not being hospitalised. And they say we are not making progress."
