Lloyds TSB Bank drawn into Ralph Gonzales gay hitman theory

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 26 August 2007

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Florida - (Ass Mess): UK high street banking giant Lloyds TSB has been drawn into a gay hitman controversy surrounding the mysterious deaths of Flordia GOP consultant Ralph Gonzales, his room mate David Abrami and their mutual 'chum' 30 year old Robert Drake.

Gonzales was a consultant to Florida representative Tom Feeney and reputedly up to his ass in shenanigans in volving jailed DC lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

The three men were found dead, riddled with dozens of gunshot wounds at Gonzales's Orange County home last Thursday just as Lloyds TSB was poised to pay out $12.5 million to Gonzales in settlement for its alleged part in a $100m-plus foreign currency scam in the United States.

Gonzales, described in the press this week as a private investor, sued for compensation for being a victim of the fraud in a US class action suit.

FBI sources are admittedly puzzled at the banking connection to Thursday's triple homicide but have vowed to 'leave no stone unturned'.

Gonzales's class action alleged that Lloyds TSB, Man Financial and the accountancy firm Kaplan, Swicker & Simha of California "aided and abetted a breach of fiduciary duty and fraud and contravened sections of RICO" - the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organisations Act.

"These are very serious charges," Orange County Sherrif's Office sources said today.

Court papers seen by US press reporters say that Gonzales was one of more than 300 investors who bought into a currency scheme operated between 1998 and 2003by one Moshe Leichner and his son Zvi who lured online investors with promises of rich rewards - typically between 2% and 4% per month by foreign currency dealing through their apparently legit business concerns such as Midland Euro Exchange.

After raising over $130 million - 'including $40m from clients of one Florida investment adviser' - the scehem bombed because it was clearly a Ponzi scam - similar to a Pyramid selling scam as it is called in the UK.

Court documents show that the Leichners then went on an orgiastic spending spree, bingeing out on $120 million worth of goods including boats, houses and luxury cars as well as stashing away millions in secret offshore accounts.

The Leichners were eventually busted in 2003 and pleaded guilty to wire fraud, money laundering and operating an illegal Ponzi scheme and received 20 years and 11 years respectively for their role in the scam.

And Ralph Gonzales's share of compensation was due for a pay-out this week.

***

Additional reporting by The Psychic Courier Company

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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