Who ate all "Le Pies"

Written by Kent Pete

Sunday, 12 August 2007

image for Who ate all "Le Pies"
Cantona out shopping for "La Cakes" yesterday,

Football fans throughout the world will be in shock today after amazing pictures published in The Spoof, showed the man once known as "Le God" shopping in his native town of Marseille.

Talking to our Sports correspondent Peter Musgrove, the mercurial Frenchman said, "Ze days of le Sardines are over. I blame you all for zis. Before I move to Manchester I nezer 'erd of ze Ginsters. Now I live on ze sings. I 'ave not played za football for sree years now. Ze Eric mageek has gone for ever."

However the fact that Cantona has become a complete Lard Arse does not appear to have come as a great surprize to many of his ex team mates.

Speaking from "The Rose and Crown" in New Farnley, Leeds the famous wife beater Lee Chapman said, "I expected that French nonce to end up in the gutter. He had no self discipline. If he wanted something he took it. I hated the twat."

When asked if Eric's "lack of discipline" had extended to his wife ,fish faced celebrity Lesley Ash, Chapman once again became a bit hot with his fists and our reporter was forced to run screaming out of the pub. One onlooker was heard to say,

"I have never seen a journalist looking so scared and you are talking to someone who once saw John Sargeant, quite literally, shitting himself outside The House of Lords"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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