Man Vs Wild Survivorman Will Join Forces

Sunday, 12 August 2007

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Cape Canaveral, Florida <):O) (IP) (O:(> - On August 27th Mars and the Earth will be only 678,000 miles apart. It will become relatively simple to send spacecraft to Mars for about 30 days during which time Les Stroud and Bear Grylls will team up for a week's stay trying their hand at survival in the Martian environment.

They will parachute into the atmosphere using much larger parachutes than found on Earth due to the thin Martian atmosphere. Their bodies will be covered with air-filled rubberized shock absorption spheres. Just before landing they will activate retro-rockets which are jetisoned at the last moment and then they will roll like a giant balloon as the shock absorption spheres help them safely roll to a stop.

Their landing zone is the northern Martian polar ice cap where ice will provide them with a source of water which can also be broken down into oxygen and hydrogen using an electric current generated by portable solar cell panels.

In one week's time they will have to build a rocket to get them off the planet using locally found materials and it will be fueled by the oxygen and hydrogen they produce themselves. Food will come from terra forming under a makeshift green house they will build from materials left over from their landing devices.

NASA is sending their robotic rovers to the site in order to film the whole thing. NASA is also providing a computer to translate Australian English into Canadian English and vice versa.

Update from the future : The stars of our show never made it back to Earth. Both of the stars of our show were found to have suffered a horrible death. They had found what they believed to be large leaves and used them for toilet tissue. It turned out that the leaves were actually Martian life forms and furthermore they unfortunately picked out leaves which were none other than members of Martian royalty.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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