There were 154 spoof news stories published in November 2003. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Hulk Porn Greeted With Bad Press
NEW YORK CITY-Comic book legend Stan Lee announced that the release of Marvel's new adult movie ‘Hulk In The Pants' will be delayed due to the string of bad press the unreleased movie has already received from critics.
Read full storyMichael Jackson to be in Fourth Harry Potter movie
LONDON, ENGLAND- Warner Bros. announced a new addition to the cast of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire today. Michael Jackson was recently added to be the voice of the House Elf, Winky.
Read full storyPrince Charles & His Butler - The Full Exclusive!
In an exclusive interview with ex-royal footman, Mr. George Smith, The Spoof has the full story on Prince Charles and what he got up to with his former butler Michael Fawcett.
Read full storyMickey Mouse suffers Massive Stroke on Birthday!
A sad day for the Disney fans everywhere. On the morning of Mickey's 75th birthday, he was the victim of a massive stroke. The extent of the damage is not yet known but Goofy was overheard saying that "Old Mick" was slurring his words...
Read full storyPrince Charles to Marry Gay Bishop
The Prince of Wales and Bishop Gene Robinson have ended weeks of speculation with the sudden announcement that they are to be married.
Read full storyPrince Charles's Servant Finds Royal Wormhole
The troubled ‘apprentice-king' hit the headlines again, yesterday, when an ex-servant revealed intimate details of a royal wormhole that he had experienced.
Read full storyRowling 'can't be arsed' to write next Harry Potter book
JK Rowling has declared that she "can't be arsed" to write the next Harry Potter book.
Read full storyCharlie's Angels 3: Prince Charles to become movie star
Latest buzz from Hollywood is that the Prince of Wales, Charles Windsor, is set to star alongside Diaz, Liu and Barrymore in the next installment of the Charlie's Angels series.
Read full storyBringing Home The Bacon
Miss Piggy is set to give birth to triplets in the new year, our story comes straight from Hollywood.
Read full storyRichie Rich Caught on Gay Party Tape
The aristocratic community was stunned today when a video tape surfaced depicting "poor little rich boy" Richie Rich using drugs heavily and engaging in homosexual acts.
Read full storyEwan McGregors Nude Scene: the LONG story
Ewan McGregors latest nude scene in his latest movie "Young Adam" has been cut out of the US version, because his "penis is too long" and "disgraces the presidents flava"...
Read full storyMarvel Gives Green Light to "Solomon Grundy" Movie
Marvel Enterprises announced today that in its desperate attempt to make a summer blockbuster out of every single comic book character they own they have decided to begin production on a "Solomon Grundy" movie.
Read full storyAndy Capp Arrested for Domestic Violence
Andy Capp was arrested early this morning for allegedly severely beating his wife, Flo, with a billiard cue.
Read full storyMichael Jackson arrested for thinking about his childhood
Crazy popstar, Michael Jackson, has been arrested this morning in relation to findings made during the search on his Neverland ranch. Jackson, 45, was taken into custody without any signs of struggle other than his torn clothes and bloodied face.
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Obsession With Children: The Truth
Michael Jackson has revealed that his obsession with children is not sexual in nature, but is instead linked to his desire to remain "forever young". The forty-five year old singer, once a child star himself, is said to be devastated by the...
Read full storyQueen in shock after Bush faux pas
LONDON - George W Bush was given a frosty reception at Buckingham Palace last night - after the US president mistook the Queen for her late mother.
Read full storyNuclear Incident Blamed on Gamer
Shock and awe in the White House today as one of America's nuclear warheads went on its merry way to China. A gamer playing Command & Conquer: Generals online launched a nuclear weapon on the game, which unfortunately triggered a real nuclear str...
Read full storyIs The US Flag Satanistic?
Yes, it is true. Our beloved American flag, which has been gazed lovingly upon by many a patriotic American, is indeed a complex pattern incorporating more Satanistic symbols than the T-shirts worn by six hundred and sixty-six crazed Ozzy Osbourne fa...
Read full storyWilly Wonka Accused of Sweatshop Practices
Willy Wonka, that crazy singing king of candy, was accused Wednesday of putting Oompa Loompa children to work in his famous chocolate factory and abusing them.
Read full storyGillette Introduces Mach-12 Razor
NEW YORK-In retaliation to Shick's new Quattro four-bladed razor, Gillette decided to up the ante by introducing the new Mach-12. "Those guys thought they would out-do us with their puny four blades," said Gillette spokesperson Ron Garret, "but I'd l...
Read full storyMichael Jackson escapes from police
Dangerous kiddie-snaffler Michael Jackson has escaped from custody today, and made off with an Ice Cream van which he plans to use to lure children into his clutches.
Read full storyMcDonalds To Introduce New 'Meat' Burger
NEW YORK-Announced today for the first time, McDonald's revealed its plans to incorporate a new 'McMeat Burger' into its menu. "We set out on this project looking to create a product that the average concerned carnivore would want to consume," said J...
Read full storyCannabis goes Metric
Agriculture: Cannabis is to join the rest of the organic vegetable world today and go Metric.
Read full storyBush to Saddam: "You've been punk'd!"
WASHINGTON D.C.-In what was revealed yesterday as the biggest prank in the history of the world, President Bush made an announcement to former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein: "You've been punk'd, bitch!"...
Read full storyDisney to Open 'California Disaster' Theme Park
LOS ANGELES-Michael Eisner unveiled his plans today to remodel the failing ‘California Adventure' theme park into one which he feels more fitting and will draw a wider, more appreciative audience.
Read full storyBeing Drunk Just More Fun, Geopolitical Study Finds
CONNECTICUT-Yale University released the findings of its three-year long and much debated study on the popularity of drinking yesterday. Dr Bradley Denton, chief researcher and professor at the university, released the results to the public at a pres...
Read full storyNuns Get Sexy Aguilera Habits
The Pope was visibly excited yesterday when he had an audience with nuns wearing daring Christina Aguilera outfits.
Read full storyGiant cheque businesses face tricky period
The giant cheque business is allegedly about to go bust. With the two main events of the year which see a dramatic climb in sales now over with the industry is going to have to weather the storm.
Read full storyCeline Dion "..a French-Canadian Freak Accident.."
Scientists are working around the clock to determine what actually happened to Canuck singer Celine Dion.
Read full storyR Kelly on career high after child sex allegations
The latest sales figures for the UK album chart suggest R & B crooner R Kelly's new album: "Chocolate Factory" is actually selling better amidst allegations that R Kelly has slept with a minor.
Read full storyMussolini's granddaughter hits back at 'tosser' jibe
The granddaughter of Italy's former fascist dictator Benito Mussolini is leaving the right-wing National Alliance party - because its leader Gianfranco Fini called him a "fat, bald, murderous little tosser".
Read full storyTimberlake Loves to Stroke his One-Eyed Trousersnake
Justin 'Cuddly-Buns' Timberlake has revealed his hidden secret: he has a three-foot trousersnake. Pop star and all-round bad-boy type Justin admitted to teen magazine 'Just Hit Puberty' that he is the proud owner of a 36 Inch beast, w...
Read full storyBob Carolgees: "I want to be Tory leader"
Star of Blackpool Pier and succesful Northern comic Bob Carolgees has put forward his bid for Tory leadership. Spit the Dog would be involved as well, though in what way we're not quite sure.
Read full storyBush's Royal Rumble
Royal cleaner Edith Marigold, 59, today revealed sickening intimate details of the recent Presidential stay in Buckingham Palace.
Read full storyScientists Invent REAL Self Basting Turkey in time for Christmas
Geneticists at Lancaster University have announced that they have invented the world's first self-basting turkey - that actually pours its own juices back over itself while it is being cooked.
Read full storyBritney Spears and Madonna to create own girl band
In a fairly shocking revelation, Britney Spears and Madonna are set to quit music and shack up together in a "girl-on-girl" kind of way. Spears (19), is said to be dribbling at the prospect of getting closer to her idol, Madonna (54).
Read full story"Seaside is a bit crap" - say tourist board
The British Tourist Board has described the UK's seaside resorts as "sh*t", "dirty scum holes", "fat northerner meccas" and "Blackpool".
Read full story2004 Presidency to be Decided on "Survivor"
Washington, D.C. - In a move that turned the political world upside-down, Congress announced today that instead of having a traditional presidential election next November, candidates will compete on the popular reality game show "Survivor"...
Read full storyOsama Bin Laden to visit London.
We have been informed by various sources, that the worlds most wanted man is to visit London at the same time as President George Bush.
Read full storyPoll: Americans Still Don't Care About Soccer
In a recent nationwide poll that surprised no one, it was revealed that 98% of Americans could care less about the sport of soccer.
Read full storySchumacher shopping trolley shocker!
Reigning Formula 1 World Championship holder Michael Schumacher, has been finding it hard to adjust to life after the end of the current season.
Read full storyPac-Man & Ms. Pac-Man Split Up
Citing irreconcilable differences and mental anguish, Ms. Pac-Man has filed for divorce from her famous yellow ball of a husband, Pac-Man.
Read full storyKevin Costner Murders Seven Prostitutes for Movie Role Research
In an effort to get in touch with his next movie role, actor Kevin Costner brutally murdered seven prostitutes last week.
Read full storyAitken Diet Slammed By Experts
Nutritional experts have slammed the latest Aitken diet as "complete rubbish" and without any benefit to people trying to loose weight.
Read full storyMan eats monkey as "experiment"
An unemployed actor from Santa Barbara has been charged with 'malicious injestion' following his admission that he swallowed a monkey. Malcolm Jack-san told reporters outside his house that he "saw some guy eating big worms on TV" a...
Read full storyCelebrities "Largely forgotten"
Britney Spears was spotted today working as a waitress in a greasy spoon on the A5 outside Dunstable, adding to fears that the nubile pop minx may never grace MTV again.
Read full storyQueen Caught in "Compromising Situation"
The Daily Mail has announced it has allegations made by a former Royal servant, pertaining to HRH Queen Elizabeth II being discovered in a "compromising situation" in one of the bedrooms at Buckingham Palace. We are told the allegations in...
Read full storyRonald Mcdonald buys Leeds United!
Ronald Mcdonald had bought Leeds United football club for the price of one Big Mac. The world famous fast food giant launched his shock take over bid yesterday. Due to Leeds massive debts, they had no choice but to accept.
Read full storyEvidence to prove inconclusively that midgets are wrong.
A straw pole has suggested that midgets are very, very wrong. Midgets or ‘little people' as they prefer to be called, have long been entertaining us is the form of circus freak shows.
Read full storyWorld Beard Championships Reach Head
The World Beard and Moustache Championships have come to a head in Carson City, Nevada; with the first prize being won by Karl-Heinz Hille, stereotypically-named German from Berlin.
Read full storyAliens Refuse to Give Foul-Smelling Man Anal Probe
The Zexandroogs, a group of grey-class aliens from the planet Zexandroogentopiaberg, refused to give a routine anal probing to an abductee on Monday because of his "unhygienic nature".
Read full storyCure for Death found
Scientists sensationally found a cure for the most common cause of fatality - death. More than 20 boffins in the USA found that death kills 99% of all people in the world, and searched hard for a cure.
Read full storyLocal Man to Receive Fame and Wealth, Says Fortune Cookie
Stephen Shaw-Local man Tom Robbins struck it big last Friday while dining at Crazy Mao's Chinese restaurant. Robbins and his wife Laura were quietly enjoying their meal when he, for no particular reason, opened one of the complimentary fortune cookie...
Read full storyJackson clones discovered in Neverland
Investigators today uncovered a hidden laboratory underneath Michael Jacksons bizzare fun palace, Neverland.
Read full storyExaggeration leads to arrest
The Government have today introduced new plans to outlaw the use of over-exaggeration in public places. To create a safer country, several new laws have been proposed. As Home Secretary David Blunkett steps up his campaign to make the United Kingdom...
Read full storyEngland Rugby Stars In Hospital
It was revealed today that at least four of the England world cup winning rugby team have been admitted to hospital.
Read full storyScientists: Botox Makes Your Face Explode
Los Angeles - The cosmetic surgery world was rocked on Monday when it was revealed that botox injections explode after three years of being in the human body.
Read full storyShamed Spoof journo admits 'I lied about JK Rowling'
Shamed Spoof journalist Gareth Carpenter has admitted that he completely ‘made up' a story about famous children's author JK Rowling - because she once brushed him off at a book signing.
Read full storySex Banned From Playboy Mansion
Los Angeles, CA -- Hugh says, 'I am all done with this charade.' Resting all to uncomfortably in his multi-billion dollar home, sits a rugged Hugh Hefner with an unmistakable frown from ear to ear. "I am downright exhausted!"
Read full storyMcJacko
NEVERLAND, CA - Police searching Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch have stumbled upon more shocking news concerning the star's fondness for children.
Read full storyNed runs for Governor
A young teenager from Greenock near Glasgow has surprised America and begun a campaign to run for Governor of Florida.
Read full storyReality Of It All.
With all the reality shows lately hitting the circuits, it's hard to decide which are suitable for human viewing. Some are uber-geek romantic, like 'Average Joe', but some are a complete waste of time, such as 'Newlyweds: Nick and Jes...
Read full storyThe Famous Enya Rips One
BULGARIA - The stars are not so brightly shinning tonight, as Derek Zuniga of the United States, brought allegations that international phenomenon and new age singer/composer 'Enya' had maliciously stolen his music. Derek (36) had been writi...
Read full storySuperman, Batman Call It Quits
METROPOLIS - It was a surprise for the rest of us, but colleagues of the two super-friends say today's simultaneous announcements that Superman and Batman would cease collaboration was no surprise to them.
Read full story'Unprecedented' Security for George W. Bush
The security at George W. Bush's forthcoming London visit is set to be like that never seen before according to Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir John Stevens. The planned security would have cost the British tax-payer £4m but police coffers a...
Read full storyThe Queen Fakes Job As Daily Mirror Reporter
Tony Blair ordered an immediate review of security at the Daily Mirror headquarters, following revelations that The Queen had been working undercover, as a journalist, for 2 months.
Read full storyCharles denies alleged Neverland incident
In the latest turn yet for the scandal-shaken Royal Family, Prince Charles vehemently denied being involved in an "unspecified incident that supposedly happened at Neverland" and that has been alluded to though never revealed in Britain'...
Read full storyWindows Contracts AIDS Virus
ATLANTA-Doctors and computer scientists confirmed today that a Georgia man's copy of Windows XP did in fact contract the AIDS Virus.
Read full storySaddam Holds Book Signing in Times Square
NEW YORK--Saddam Hussein held a book signing in Times Square today, autographing hundreds of copies of his new autobiography "You say Jihad, I say Jihad". Thousands waited in line, many overnight, and up to 800 were turned away in the end w...
Read full storyPope 'A Chump' Says Dalai Lama before Big Fight
LOS ANGELES-According to reports from his corner and trainer, the Pope's ailing health will not keep him from the biggest 12-round fight of his career against the Dalai Lama. Earlier reports from the Pope's training camp indicated deteriorating healt...
Read full storyStartling New Discovery to Combat US Obesity
A startling new message was given to the American population today in an effort to combat their obesity problem. It is estiamted that 67% of Americans were overweight to such an extent that their health were at risk.
Read full storyUp, Up and Away: Steve Fossett plays his games
I recently caught sight of a news item that Steve Fossett is trying to get really high. In a glider I mean. You may remember that Mr. Fossett was the first moron to fly solo around the world in hot air balloon. Why is he a moron? Well, that's a good...
Read full storyChubby Brown and Osama bin Laden Star In Christmas Pantomime
The C.I.A. suffered great embarrassment, when it was revealed that Osama Bin Laden and his forty top Al Qaida operatives had been starring in a top West End production of a traditional Christmas pantomime.
Read full storyBush "Just here to party".
Bush surprised a crowd of London common folk today when he stated in a speech on the steps of Buckingham Palace that he was visting for one reason and one reason only: partying.
Read full storyTubeTrain in London Mashes South African
This morning on her way to work, a sexy South African girl got MASHED by a tube train. Having run to the trainstation in pouring rain, she stood calmly waiting for her train.
Read full storyBruce Willis Enraged He Has Yet To Be Punk'd
Hollywood, California. Die Hard Celebrity Bruce Willis expressed his froustrations to sources, for not yet being the butt of an uncarefully crafted high-budget prank by his ex wife's boyfriend Ashton K (the host of MTV's hit show Punk'd)...
Read full storyNew Apple Diet Hits the Masses
Dr. Fartsalot's latest article for Edible Science Magazine hit the apple industry with a bang Thursday. People flooded the markets and spent unprecedented billions on apples.
Read full storyOZ RUGBY DEMAND RULE CHANGES
Australia`s governing rugby body has demanded changes to the rules following England`s victory at the weekend.
Read full storyBlack Eyed Peas Perform 'Where is the love?' in New Osama Bin Laden Video
WASHINGTON D.C.-In the wake of it's release, Donald Rumsfeld spoke about the new Osama Bin Laden video yesterday at a White House Press conference. "Bin Laden appears to be surrounded by the Black Eyed Peas, who are singing ‘Where is the love?'"...
Read full storyMovie About Life of Jesus Strangely Predictable
HOLLYWOOD-Critics blasted the new ‘Life of Jesus' movie recently, calling the story ‘predictable' and ‘without surprise.'...
Read full storyBush Vows to Find Hitler
President Bush stated in a press conference today that Adolf Hitler, the head of the Nazi party, is still at large, but the US military is "making progress" in pinpointing him.
Read full storyPavarotti storms off stage in 'muppet' row
MILAN, ITALY - Opera-goers were in tears last night after local hero Luciano Pavarotti angrily abused them in a four-letter word outburst -and then stormed offstage swearing never to sing in public again.
Read full storyEpidemic expected to kill 98.89% of Americans
ALBERTA, CANADA- With the onset of Thanksgiving in its shadow, the West Alerta based Food Products Medical Centre has uncovered something that could affect millions of Thanksgiving practitioners and turkey enthusiasts alike, e-turkoli (pronounced e-t...
Read full storyBush Pre-Empts Against Protests
Security arrangements for President Bush's state visit have caused outrage in Britain. The plans involve the killing of thousands of Londoners, but are described as "necessary steps in the war on terror" against protesters.
Read full storyScientists Shocked You Made It At All
"How did an idiot like you beat 25 million others to the egg?" asks stunned scientist.
Read full storyP.Diddi Set To Diddi Next Years NYC Marathon "For Da Sweat-Shop Children"
P.Diddi, ecstatic from his recent completion of the New York City Marathon, already announced plans for a possible repeat performance in next years race. "I diddied, this marathon for da children"--puffy. He sure diddi, raising an estimat...
Read full story96% of Americans can't speak American
In non-too shocking news this morning, it was discovered that the majority of Americans can't speak American; let alone English, the language upon which it is based.
Read full storyBin Laden Found Shock
In a shock statement today, the Bush administration revealed they have at last found the whereabouts of wanted terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden-in his own office at CIA headquaters.
Read full storyBag Boy Squishes Bread, but Leaves Eggs Unscathed
Pine Harbor, Minnesota- "It was horrific," recalls a solemn Susan Miller. "I was checking out my gathered goods like normal and the cashier asked me for my savings card and then I continued emptying my cart."...
Read full storyJackson Playing at the Superbowl?
Emily Holden told reporters on Wednesday that she saw Michael Jackson playing number 3 on the visitors side.
Read full storyIDS Ruse Rumbled
A cunning ruse by Iain Duncan Smith was thwarted by the Conservative party today. The plan was uncovered when a Mrs Ivy Duncan Smyth was found to be running for Tory party leadership.
Read full storyWelsh and Scottish fans behaviour 'unacceptable'
The Welsh and Scottish football associations have attacked both countries' sets of supporters following their national teams' recent heartbreaking exits from the 2004 European Championships.
Read full storySpeaking of which 2....with Phrank Phraser
Stamp of Approval What, may I ask, has gone wrong with the great British stamp? Recently finding myself in the sod’s-law-situation of having an important letter to post but no damn stamp to stick on it, muttering through clenched teeth, I set out defiantly through the gloom and the drizzle towards the local Post Office.
Read full storyGhosts Outright Disproved
LAWRENCE, MI--Victor Temenci of Layfette research facilities has new, unsubstantiated proof that Ghosts in their respective entirety, never have existed at all on this planet. Sighting several distinguished examples of perceptible ghostly behavior t...
Read full storyWal-Mart expands into Afghanistan and Iraq
In looking to keep "competitive", Wal-Mart, the great American store chain, has decided to invest in opening up stores in a number of locations across Afghanistan and Iraq.
Read full storyBush Slams Pub Culture
President Bush drove yet another wedge between himself and the British population by drinkning non-alcholic lager in a northeastern pub.
Read full storyTheft cripples insurance company
A Liverpool company has suffered from a significant theft, costing thousands in revenue. Randox Plc has reported that this recent theft is the worst of it's kind. In the recent spate,...
Read full storyBeware The March Of IDS
Soothsayers cackled, and smart-arses gloated at Conservative Party H.Q., as IDS was sacked!...
Read full storySun Begins Puberty, Say Scientists
LONDON-In the midst of the recent solar flares to erupt on the sun's surface, scientists have been hypothesizing to find a reason for the sudden activity. After days of deliberation, Geoff Hayward, an associate professor at Oxford University, came fo...
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