Black Eyed Peas Perform 'Where is the love?' in New Osama Bin Laden Video

Funny story written by Steve Shaw

Monday, 10 November 2003

image for Black Eyed Peas Perform 'Where is the love?' in New Osama Bin Laden Video
Bush reply to be mailed via ballistic missile

WASHINGTON D.C.-In the wake of it's release, Donald Rumsfeld spoke about the new Osama Bin Laden video yesterday at a White House Press conference. "Bin Laden appears to be surrounded by the Black Eyed Peas, who are singing ‘Where is the love?'" Said Rumsfeld. "In the beginning of the video he states that the song has helped him work through some emotional pain he's had to deal with for a long time now, including the death of his childhood pet goat, Snuffy. Bin Laden later says he attributes much of his violent nature to Snuffy's death."

The Black Eyed Peas hit song has struck a resonant chord with many around the world, urging people to look deep and hard at society and figure out what it's become. "We never thought Osama would hear it, but when he called us and asked us to appear in his new video, we were flattered," said the band.

"I mean, how can the song not touch you?" said Bin Laden. "I now realize I was wrong and I just want to let you know I apologize for that whole ‘Death to America' bit…and Somalia…and the World Trade Center…but I'm confident we can put that all behind us. Who would guess that a song could bring so many people together? And George," he addressed the President, "I really think we should get together over some Humus or whatever, and I mean that, okay? Call me sometime. Actually, no, come on over. My address is…" and the video concludes with Bin Laden reading his address to the camera, which the White House withheld from the public.

The United States responded by making a video of George W. Bush talking directly to Bin Laden about meeting and ‘chewing the fat' as the President put it. Rumsfeld said the video would be air-mailed the next morning via ballistic cruise missile.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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