Written by Kevin Diver

Tuesday, 25 November 2003

Bruce ( waltzing Matilda ) sourgrapes

Australia`s governing rugby body has demanded changes to the rules following England`s victory at the weekend.
A spokes person said ( see picture )
" England were underhand from the word go. It was clear to anyone that the players and coaching staff had spent months of hard dedicated work just to win the world cup. the smooth professional way they handled the ball and kept Australia under control is the most blatant example of courage skill and sportsmanship that world rugby has ever seen since the last time England played."
" It is therefore proposed that
1 England in future will only be allowed 12 players.
2. refeeree s must award at least four pointless penalties against England in each half
3 No one by the name of Wilkinson to be allowed to kick the ball
4 Australia to start each game with a ten point lead

These rules are not designed to handicap England, they are merely a way of trying to ensure that emerging countries like Australia and New Zealand have a chance to get the ball."
" The English approach of hard work fairplay and keeping your eye on the ball simply cannot be tolerated any more

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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