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Rating:

Arsene Wenger predicts tight game with Manchester United

I'm having a bet on United to win 8-2 again just in case...

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Sudan police close down two national newspapers.

Did they get the idea from News International?

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Sex scene plays behind presenter on late night STV show

In an unrelated story, Angus Deayton has applied for a job with STV.

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Next Britain's Got Talent winners will go into space says Cowell

Yeah, but will they stay there?

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

News International admit to email hacking as well

It's carrier pigeons all the way for me in future.

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

News International pay out to 37 in phone hacking claims

If they wanted to give money away they should have started a lottery like Daily Express (and Star) owner Richard Desmond.

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Lindsay Lohan sues over hooker claims.

Imagine booking a prostitute and Lindsay Lohan turned up.
Now that would be a freaky friday.

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

OJ Simpson 'secret father of Khloe Kardashian'

You read it here first! Well National Enquirer first, and the spoof second.

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Kerry Katona wants a job in the Rovers Return (Coronation St)

Come on, I know he's a fictional character, but even Steve McDonald doesn't deserve that.

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

The only wail is essex...

Harry Derbridge (no, me neither) cried for an hour when he heard he'd been axed from tv show The Only Way Is Essex.

On the plus side, Essex won't need a hosepipe ban this year.

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Blackburn tell Samba he has to stay until summer

I didn't know they had a summer in Blackburn?

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Simon Cowells tells press "I was smug and cocky"

Was?

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Denise Welch regrets going naked in big brother bathtub

Babestation have issued a statement
"don't call us love we'll call you"

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Denise Welch goes naked in hot-tub on Celeb big brother

Next week she's off on holiday with Rihanna. Watch this space

(or twitter and twitpic to be more precise)

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Rihana posts her holiday bikini pictures on twitter

Well I suppose it's quicker than a postcard.

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

370,000 migrants wrongly paid benefits

Yeah, but on the bright side they'll all pay it back... wont they?

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

HSBC pledge £15bn in mortgage lending

I only popped in to use the ATM.

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Salman Rushdie skips Jaipur Lit Fest after warning of assassination attempt

A Fatwa is for life not just for Christmas.

written by radiogagger, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Gingrich Addresses Same-Sex Marriage in Latest Debate

'Marriage should be between a man and a woman and a woman!'

written by NWNewsmash, 20 January 2012
Rating:

China Buys Large Steak In Thames Water.

Yuck, I hope they don't add it to one of their menus it must be well off by now!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 20 January 2012
Rating:

'Extinct For Years' Monkey Found!

That's funny, I thought he had been Director General of the BBC all these years??

written by Herrdoktorfox, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Woman Claims Ship's Captain Did 'Great Thing'

A Moldovan sexpot, Domnica Cemortan claims Captain of striken 'Costa' did great things, 'e' giva me a gooda seeing to in one offer da lafaboats' !.."yes, dear but will he ever call or write again?"

written by Herrdoktorfox, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Boris Johnson calls Brit youth a bunch of "lazy buggars!"

Fab mayor of London, Boris Johnson, has called British youths a bunch of lazy buggars, old Bean. They promptly gave posh Boris their thoughts, "get on your bike you fat, snobby bastard, literally!"

written by Jaggedone, 20 January 2012
Rating:

"The Artist" to Have Sequel

The award-winning silent film, "The Artist" is to have a sequel. It is the story of an incontinent silent movie star. The film will be called the P*** Artist.

written by IN SEINE, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Facebook may Join Google & Wikipedia in Protest

Facebook could join Google & Wikipedia in the protest against online piracy. It is feared that chaos will ensue as people will not know when John is making a cup of tea, or Pippa is having a shower.

written by IN SEINE, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Vicar Converts Shed Into Brothel

"I used to keep garden tools and spare cassocks in the shed but now it's a thriving rub and tug shop and I'm pimping for 6 bitches! I cant wait to tell the bishop!"

written by Clive Danton, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Escape from New York

Now that President Obama has sang Karaoke at the Apollo in New York? I suppose their will be more New Yorker's trying to get escape with the Duke more than ever and I don't mean John Wayne ?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 20 January 2012
Rating:

I Love New York

That's right I love New York as long as it stays where it is and leave the Pace Picante sauce here out West? Keep Manhattan just give me that countryside?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Live and Let Die ?

We all know that Horse Manure means HS,and Steer Manure means BS, but was does BO have to do with any of US to Solo Mio Karaoke at the Apollo in the first place? Something smells in Denmark?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Oooops I Did It Again ?

Did I just say the " O - word," at the Apollo? Heck and my name isn't even Kramer from Seinfeld? You all should hear me do "Camptown Ladies?" He rode a Blazing Saddle and wore a Shining Star ?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 20 January 2012
Rating:

President Obama Does Karaoke

The President at a fund-raiser at the Apollo in Harlem,NY. Tried his hand on a little Karaoke song of old Al Green's"Let's stay together?" Thank God he didn't have Kramer's Heckler in the audience ?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Bumper Christmas For Oxfam Shops

Oxfam charity shops have reported their best Festive trading ever with profits soaring by 11%...but it has come at a price, The British Heart Foundation are said to have called in the Administrators!!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 20 January 2012
Rating:

McCartney in Talks About Olympics Games role.

Sir Paul McCartney having secret talks regarding his potential role in the Olympic Games. Paul said, he did not mind doing the roles providing he could have ham and cheese ones?

written by Herrdoktorfox, 20 January 2012
Rating:

6.4% Of Benefit Claimants Born Abroad

371,000 foreign claimants receiving UK benefits (and the rest) according to 'Government' figures.....funny that, I thought the darlings were nicking all the crap 'low paid' long hour British jobs??

written by Herrdoktorfox, 20 January 2012
Rating:

Week holiday to Majorca is £264 cheaper than Devon... according to Thomas Cook

"Weeks holiday?... what's that then? - oh I remember!"

written by Inchcock, 20 January 2012
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