There were 6,987 spoof news snippets published in 2012. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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Star Jones Knows Her Pastries

Star Jones who has really started to pack on the pounds stated that she will be the hostess of A&E's America's Biggest Damn Cupcakes.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 February 2012
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Both Go Hand-In-Hand So To Speak

The Australian government is reporting that the tremendous decline in the emu population is also causing a huge decline in laughter.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 January 2012
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Who Really Cares About Donald "The Hairdo From Hell" Trump

Donald Trump endorsing Mitt Romney makes about as much sense as someone inviting Hitler to a Bar Mitzvah.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 February 2012
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The Celebrities Were All Kind Of On The Shy Side

A FOX Network spokesperson revealed that plans for their new show Celebrity Cellulite have been scrapped since the producers could not get even one celebrity who was willing to appear on the show.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 February 2012
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The KKK Is Now Outsourcing

The Ku Klux Klan is reporting that due to a tightening of their budget they will be outsourcing their corporate paperwork to the African country of Upper Shambutu.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2012
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LeAnn Rimes Eats Like A Hummingbird

LeAnn Rimes, who reportedly weighs 63 pounds, has been signed to star in a new television reality cooking show called Making Fantastic Meals For Just Under $2.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2012
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December 2012 Prophecy Was Correct!

Experts now believe the Mayan prophecy about a large comet-like planet being linked to the end of time in December 2012 referred to this week's closure of Comet's remaining electrical retail stores.

written by Tommy Twinkle, 21 December 2012
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Paula Abdul May Be Making Yet Another Comeback

Paula Abdul, who was recently fired by Simon Cowell from X-Factor, has been asked to interview for the host's job on the new Bravo reality singing show titled, 1,2,3, Sing Your Vocal Chords Off!

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 February 2012
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The Most Amazing Stray Cat In The World

Animal shelter workers in San Francisco were skeptical about a stray cat that reportedly traveled all the way from Japan. The skepticism vanished once they heard the cat meowing in Japanese.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 January 2012
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The Arizona Weight Doctors Are Getting Kinda Carried Away

The Medical Agency in Tucson is asking weight doctors to be more careful after two liposuction cases result in one woman having an eardrum sucked out and another having her tonsils sucked out.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2012
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Wise Words!

Piers Morgan's 'New American Constitution' goes on sale at all good book shops across America from next week. His 'New Improved Holy Bible' is expected to be on the shelves in time for Easter 2013.

written by Tommy Twinkle, 28 December 2012
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Burger King - The Hamburger Innovator In Home Delivery

Taking a cue from Burger King, who has just introduced their new home delivery called Whoppers on Wheels, Starbucks will soon be unveiling its new Frappuccino Via FedEx.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 January 2012
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People Are Starting To Take "Things" Into Their Own Hands

The American Medical Association says that due to the high unemployment rate they are seeing a tremendous increase in do-it-yourself operations for vasectomies, tubal ligations, and breast augmentations.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 January 2012
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Walmart - The Proven Leader In Shopping Innovations

Walmart in an effort to cut back on expenses has decided to reduce its number of shopping carts by 20 percent. They plan to air commercials asking shoppers to please share carts with other shoppers.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 January 2012
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The Lyrics Are Causing A Bit of A Problem

The Country Music Industry says that in order to try and project a more stable environment it's asking its writers to please cut back on using the words cheatin', drinkin', and spittin'.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 January 2012
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You Cannot Say That Certain "T" Word In Iowa

The governor of Iowa has just banned the use of the word "Twitter." He is reported to have stated that the word just has that curse word sound about it.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 February 2012
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Shakira - The Woman With The 124-MPH Hips

Police in Beverly Hills are investigating claims that after a woman took away her 9-year-old son's Shakira poster he became so upset that he threw three goldfish and four guppies at her.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 February 2012
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President Obama Is A Wonderful Presidential Dad

President Obama and his family will be visiting Disney World and he remarked that the three kids are really going to have a ball, especially the big kid, Joey Biden.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 January 2012
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The Illegal Aliens Just Keep On Going North

Many illegal aliens from Mexico, El Salvador, and Guatemala are having a hard time finding jobs in America so they are sneaking into Canada and working in the igloo construction business.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 February 2012
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Third Grade Teacher Overrules Company's Spelling

SHELBY, MT--Ms. Torbitt doesn't care where 9-year-old Chris Spacer's dad works, 'Wearhouse' is not the correct spelling.

written by rvler9201, 16 October 2012
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It's The Thought That Counts!

The Prime Minister's 'anything for me' to his postman this morning has at last brought a 'yes' reply. He said later, 'It's only a small one but at least it's a Christmas card.'

written by Tommy Twinkle, 22 December 2012
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Joan "The Moan" Rivers Can Chew 'Em Up and Spit 'Em Out!

Chelsea Handler remarked that her recent meltdown was brought on by the fact that Joan Rivers said that she has all the charm and personality of a Preparation H Suppository.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 January 2012
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Photos: NASA releases new moon pics requested by students! #2

"Kids, kids. You have to go outside more often", says NASA spokesman!

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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What No Rhino or Hippo?

I'm kinda thinking that the very first person who ever said the cliché, "The elephant in the room" had to have been associated with either the circus or else was a jungle native.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 January 2012
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The World's Most Popular Misnamed Fish

Contrary to popular belief, jellyfish do not contain any jelly whatsoever, they do however contain an ever so slight amount of peanut butter.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 January 2012
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Reverend Al Sharpton Speaks Out Again

After hearing that Wikipedia had gone black, Reverend Al Sharpton got all huffy and remarked that the proper term is African-American.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 January 2012
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Let's See Now, What's That Saying?

A man in Detroit who kept getting lemons handed to him by life has reportedly OD'd on lemonade.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 January 2012
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Ron Paul Is Good At Spotting The Difference

Ron Paul, who is perhaps the cleverest of all of the GOP candidates, said that the only difference between Mitt Romney and a department store mannequin is that the mannequin does not have any hair.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 January 2012
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Pakistan Has Put Its Foot Down

Karachi, Pakistan is putting an end to its weekend elephant races after it was discovered that two of the elephants tested positive for alcohol.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 January 2012
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Jon Huntsman Makes A Very Good Linguistic Point

Jon Huntsman says that another reason why he should be elected president is because he already speaks Chinese, which within 5 years will become the second language of most Americans.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 January 2012
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Alec Baldwin Could Soon Become A "Non-Flyer"

Alec Baldwin has been banned by yet a third airline. If this keeps up he may end up having to travel from Los Angeles to New York City by Greyhound Bus.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 January 2012
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The Expert From Paris, France

Authorities in Idaho have reported that they have broken up a counterfeit potato ring. The group was caught thanks to the diligent work of one of the world's leading French Fry investigators.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 January 2012
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Mitt Romney Is A Whole Lot Richer Than He $ays

Mitt Romney is so rich that he hires gardeners who have their own gardeners.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 January 2012
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Vanna White Reveals A Secret

Vanna White of The Wheel of Fortune has just announced that she has suddenly developed a phobia about letters and that she may have to end up having to quit her job as a letter turner.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 February 2012
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Mitt Romney Gets Another Endorsement

And yet another noted individual has endorsed Mitt Romney. Charles Manson said he hopes Mitt is elected president because he knows that he'll let him out of prison because he told him so in a dream.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 January 2012
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Mitt Romney Has A "Short" Fuse

Mitt Romney was quite upset after winning the New Hampshire primary after Ron Paul pointed out that New Hampshire is a very small state. Romney looked at Paul and said "So what's your point Shorty?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2012
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They Say It's No Laughing Matter

Arizona has stated that they are banning the fad of binge tickling on all of its university campuses. They said that the loud laughing was making residents of New Mexico very nervous.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2012
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The Morning After The Mayan Prophecy

Apparently, the Jell-O chocolate pudding placated the gods of the Mayan prophecy.

written by K.C. Bell, 22 December 2012
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Ron Paul Comments About Mickey and Donald

Congressman Ron Paul says he wants everyone to know that the rumors that he will be running campaign ads on The Disney Channel are totally false.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 February 2012
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Stick Man Out There Somewhere

Police in Alvaton, Kentucky are looking for a stick man after police sketch artist drew him from descriptions by three kids who had been offered candy.

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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Petition calls for Piers Morgan to be deported from US

Oi! We don't want him back over here!

written by radiogagger, 26 December 2012
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The GOP Presidential Debates Are Now In Reruns

Well it has now become official. The GOP Presidential Debates are even more boring than those tacky All-State "Mayhem" commercials.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 January 2012
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Rep. Barney Frank Clears Up The Rumor

Rep. Barney Frank says that the rumor that he wants to adopt Clay Aiken is false. He then added that it's Adam Lambert that he wants to adopt.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 January 2012
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Michele Bachmann Is Once Again A Very Happy Female

Michele Bachmann says she is happy that she decided to drop out of the Republican race because now she no longer has to answer any questions on her silly-as-hell looking hairdo.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 January 2012
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Germany taking on the world financial system alone

The guys in white hats report the world is ending this week.

written by Aspartame Boy, 16 August 2012
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Entry-Level NASA Employee Leaks: Space is Made Up

Lower-level Nasa employee has written an anonymous letter to TheSpoof indicating that while all this time we believed in space, it does not actually exist.

written by Caleb Betton, 21 February 2012
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Banks to bulldoze Florida to expand Disney

Now that the people have no money left, banks will be bulldozing house to expand playgrounds for the rich. See hour lead story, "How to make your hose 'dozer ready"

written by Aspartame Boy, 10 July 2012
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It's All About Pudding

The U.S. Library of Congress acting in the interest of better nutritional habits has decided to replace the old cliché, "The proof is in the pudding" with "The proof is in the diet pudding."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 February 2012
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Khloe Kardashian Will Be Starring In Yet Another Show

Khloe Kardashian, who at 5-foot-10-inches tall really does not resemble any of her sisters at all, has agreed to appear in a new reality game show called, Okay, Try To Guess Who My Real Daddy Is?

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 January 2012
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Jewish Book Festival cancelled

Apparently nobody wanted to buy copies of the books - they either wanted a free copy from a friend of a friend, stood in WH Smiths reading it for an hour, or they borrowed from the library...

written by radiogagger, 31 December 2012
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The FBI Is Looking Into Traces of DNA

The U.S. Government said the unmanned drone that crash landed in Arizona did not come from Pakistan as had been originally believed. Reports are that it came from either Bolivia or the South Pole.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2012
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Swiss stadium name anticlimax

The England football team were disappointed that they had to play a game against Italy tonight. They had been informed that they were going to Wankdorf.

written by CaptainSausage, 15 August 2012
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Real Working Mom Ann Romney

So how many housemaids, butlers, cooks, gardeners, baby sitters, nannies, window cleaners and tutors did this "couple of Cadillacs" driving mom really have?

written by K.C. Bell, 12 April 2012
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President Bush Simply Shook His Head In Astonishment

It has just been revealed that Dubai was going to be renamed Dubya in honor of President George Bush but the idea was dropped when his mother Barbara Bush wrote a letter of protest.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 January 2012
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Seeing is "BeeLieving"

Bee experts say that honeybees actually have hair on their eyes which explains why some people have actually found little itty bitty curlers in their jars of honey.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 January 2012
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Baseball Bulletin

Big doings at New York's Citi Field tonight. The Mets are retiring Bernie Madoff's number. It's 162 million.

written by Michael Balton, 22 August 2012
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Mitt Romney And His $10,000 Bets

Mitt Romney reportedly bet Rick Perry $10,000 that John Huntsman will be the next GOP presidential candidate to drop out of the race.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2012
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Woman wondering if that's an extra period or unfinished ellipsis

BROOKLINE, MA--Amy Tripwaller wasn't sure if her friend's text, 'That made my day..see you tonight' contained a two dot ellipsis or an extra period, but she wasn't about to ask, either.

written by rvler9201, 10 October 2012
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Blink and you'll miss him

A West London Hotel has changed the name of its top floor suite to Rafa Benitez to 'honour' the new Chelsea boss - saying the room is perfect for short stays.
It used to be named after Kim Kardashian

written by radiogagger, 24 November 2012
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The DEA Said That It Gave It The Good Old Boy Try

The U.S. DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration's) new drug sniffing cow has not worked out due to the fact that it keeps stampeding.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 January 2012
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The Occupy Wall Street Movement Welcomes Everyone

The oldest Occupy Wall Street protester is 97-years-old. When he was asked why he is protesting he replied, "Why is who protesting what?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 January 2012
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It Does Take A Lot To Impress Michelle Obama's Hubby

The word is that President Obama was not really too impressed with Disney World and is considering selling it to China for $900,000.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 January 2012
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Rick Perry Will Finally Be Able To Get Back To His Main Priority

Rick Perry says that now that he has dropped out of the GOP presidential race he will have a lot more time to get back to carry out his 'executions' which he has kinda been ignoring a bit.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 January 2012
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Sarah Palin - The Wilderness Queen of Alaska Is Getting Itchy

Sarah Palin texted Bill O'Reilly and said if he can convince Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, and Rick Santorum to drop out of the GOP race she may consider coming back to America and running.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 January 2012
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You Cannot Pull Nothing Over On Sarah "Snowflake" Palin

Nancy Pelosi recently stated that Florida was bigger than England. Sarah Palin wanting to show her geographical expertise added, "And China is bigger than Connecticut."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 January 2012
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All Cats Look A Like

Rick Santorum has accused Ron Paul of importing a cat from Siam. Paul shook his head and replied, "Ricky boy, get with the program, it's a Siamese Cat for goodness sakes."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 February 2012
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Paula Abdul Heard Simon Cowell But She Just Wasn't Listening

Simon Cowell stated that when he fired X-Factor judge Paula Abdul she kinda looked at him like he was talking Greek. "The Sultan of Sarcasm" finally called up Gary Busey and he had him tell her.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 February 2012
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Happened in Tennessee

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

written by Spicewood, 29 August 2012
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President Obama Has Found Another Way To Save Money

President Obama has announced that he will be eliminating the Department of Stress. The department has proved to be very costly and it has actually caused a lot more stress than it has prevented.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 January 2012
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Good Olde Australia Comes Through

The United States has asked Australia for a loan. Australia says that it cannot really afford to send money but that instead it will be FedExing 15 kangaroos, 20 koala bears, and 40 boomerangs.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 January 2012
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Another Chinese Food Recall

This time it's "Yan's Cream of Chicken Flu Soup"!

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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Mickey D's Is Helping The Economy

McDonald's has announced that they will be hiring over one million new employees in 2012. They stressed that they hope that this will raise the average age of a McDonald's employee from 13 to 15.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2012
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The Whoppers Aren't Exactly Whopping

Burger King has announced that they will be laying off 100,000 employees before the summer. McDonald's plans to hire most of them since they are already French Fry trained.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2012
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"Leave It To Beaver"

Rick Perry says that the big difference between Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum is that Mitt Romney looks like Ward Cleaver and Rick Santorum looks like June Cleaver.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2012
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Mexico Will Not Be A Happy Camper Country

The Republic of Mexico has stated that if they are invaded by the United States that Mexico will curtail its U.S. exports of tequila, jumping beans, and auto mechanics.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 January 2012
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Adele says she thinks Karl Lagerfeld's designs are lovely

But she thinks he's a little too fatuous.

written by Roy Turse, 08 February 2012
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The Pancakes Will Still Taste The Same

IHOP, the International House of Pancakes, in an effort to prevent a lawsuit, is dropping the name International and replacing it with the more politically correct National.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 February 2012
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Tim Tebow Is One Awesome Hombre

Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow is an amazing athlete who played with hurt ribs, lungs, and chest. And that's refreshing in this day in age when some players sit out a game due to hurt feelings.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 January 2012
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The Opportunistic Domnica Cermotan

The girlfriend of the captain of The Costa Concordia who was with him when the ship hit the rock has been offered $685 to appear in a nude layout in Playboy. She has reportedly accepted the offer.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 January 2012
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McKinnon 'health grounds' revealed to be 'hacking cough'

more soon...

written by Crunk, 15 December 2012
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The Moon to be 51st State

After hearing Newt Gingrich's comments the other day, the US is prepared to colonize the moon thus making it the 51st state in the Union.

written by Ellie James, 27 January 2012
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Joan "The Moan" Rivers Is Just Never Happy

Joan Rivers says that she has mixed feelings about having a luxury cruise ship named after her. She said she likes the idea but hates the name, The Royal Bitch of The Caribbean.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 January 2012
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Newt Gingrich Had Some Kinda Odd Role-Playing Going On There

Newt Gingrich's second ex-wife said that when they were first married he liked to play a strange game where he was Captain Kangaroo and she was Mr. Green Jeans.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 January 2012
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NASA releases new moon pics requested by students!

"I think they now believe that we actually did have men on the moon at one time", says teacher.

written by Bureau, 23 March 2012
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Wenger Blames Global Warming For Recent Poor Form

"Well I've blamed everything else for us being a bit crap so why not this?" said the runny-nosed Gallic numpty last night

written by Clive Danton, 14 January 2012
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New 'Warmer' Christmas Day Announced For Britain!

David Cameron has announced a change to the calendar. From now on 25 December becomes 25 June. He said Boxing Day will still fall on 26 December but will now come the day after the readjusted 25 June!

written by Tommy Twinkle, 07 December 2012
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Student couldn't care less if called Mike or Michael

LANGHORNE, PA--Neshaminy High School sophomore Michael Bellamy didn't really care if his English teacher Mr. Comeau called him Mike or Michael, but chose Mike because it has fewer syllables.

written by rvler9201, 19 September 2012
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New Olympic sport announced

Just two days before the Olympic Games begin, a new sport has been added to the event - Moaning.

Britain is sure to get gold, as famous whinging Londoner Mona Lott will moan about the Olympics.

written by CaptainSausage, 25 July 2012
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Sarah Palin Needs A Road Map

Quick, Sarah Palin needs a road map to find her way to the end of one of her own sentences.

written by K.C. Bell, 09 March 2012
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Vicar Converts Shed Into Brothel

"I used to keep garden tools and spare cassocks in the shed but now it's a thriving rub and tug shop and I'm pimping for 6 bitches! I cant wait to tell the bishop!"

written by Clive Danton, 20 January 2012
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So Governor Jan Brewer Wanted To Play Hardball Huh?

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer says that just because she had a little run in with President Obama that she now has to provide the government with a birth certificate and three credit cards.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 February 2012
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Guatemala Is A Fun-Filled Place

The tiny country of Guatemala states that they have just developed a nuclear bomb. An hour later they reply, "Just kidding gringos!"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 January 2012
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Marian Shields Robinson Has A Very Unique Job

Ann "Jemima" Dayskill, the White House chief cook, says that there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons in the White House. She said Michelle Obama's mama gets paid to count them every three days.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 January 2012
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Home Runs Aren't As Easy As They Used To Be

A recent survey on dating by women in their late 20s shows that 80% are now waiting until at least the third date before they allow their boyfriends to get to third base.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 January 2012
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Mitt Romney Is Looking To Get The Pope's Endorsement

Mitt Romney is so upset at losing to Newt Gingrich in the South Carolina primary that he told his wife that he may change his religion from Mormon to Catholic.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 January 2012
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Local Man Has Adequate Insurance Cover

Threatens to lump opera singing moustachioed twat off TV ads if he keeps sending spam emails.

written by Skoob1999, 13 January 2012
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Web links in Breaking News items may not be such a great idea

Click here to find out why

written by Roy Turse, 13 February 2012
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Kate's task

Keeping abreast of the news

written by j.w., 15 September 2012
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The Man Is One Boring GOPer

Late-night talk show hosts absolutely hate Mitt Romney because they say that he is about as funny as a handful of ocean seaweed.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 January 2012
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Man Loses Letter "C" from Keyboard

"It's been an absolute unt ever sine I bought the fuker" he said last night

written by Clive Danton, 27 January 2012
« 2011 2012 2013 »
January
733
snippets
February
1,193
snippets
March
1,388
snippets
April
766
snippets
May
597
snippets
June
396
snippets
July
374
snippets
August
391
snippets
September
365
snippets
October
354
snippets
November
266
snippets
December
164
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