Spoof news snippets from 2012
There were 6,970 spoof news snippets published in 2012. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Star Jones Knows Her Pastries
Star Jones who has really started to pack on the pounds stated that she will be the hostess of A&E's America's Biggest Damn Cupcakes.
Both Go Hand-In-Hand So To Speak
The Australian government is reporting that the tremendous decline in the emu population is also causing a huge decline in laughter.
Who Really Cares About Donald "The Hairdo From Hell" Trump
Donald Trump endorsing Mitt Romney makes about as much sense as someone inviting Hitler to a Bar Mitzvah.
The Celebrities Were All Kind Of On The Shy Side
A FOX Network spokesperson revealed that plans for their new show Celebrity Cellulite have been scrapped since the producers could not get even one celebrity who was willing to appear on the show.
The KKK Is Now Outsourcing
The Ku Klux Klan is reporting that due to a tightening of their budget they will be outsourcing their corporate paperwork to the African country of Upper Shambutu.
LeAnn Rimes Eats Like A Hummingbird
LeAnn Rimes, who reportedly weighs 63 pounds, has been signed to star in a new television reality cooking show called Making Fantastic Meals For Just Under $2.
December 2012 Prophecy Was Correct!
Experts now believe the Mayan prophecy about a large comet-like planet being linked to the end of time in December 2012 referred to this week's closure of Comet's remaining electrical retail stores.
Paula Abdul May Be Making Yet Another Comeback
Paula Abdul, who was recently fired by Simon Cowell from X-Factor, has been asked to interview for the host's job on the new Bravo reality singing show titled, 1,2,3, Sing Your Vocal Chords Off!
The Most Amazing Stray Cat In The World
Animal shelter workers in San Francisco were skeptical about a stray cat that reportedly traveled all the way from Japan. The skepticism vanished once they heard the cat meowing in Japanese.
The Arizona Weight Doctors Are Getting Kinda Carried Away
The Medical Agency in Tucson is asking weight doctors to be more careful after two liposuction cases result in one woman having an eardrum sucked out and another having her tonsils sucked out.
Piers Morgan's 'New American Constitution' goes on sale at all good book shops across America from next week. His 'New Improved Holy Bible' is expected to be on the shelves in time for Easter 2013.
Burger King - The Hamburger Innovator In Home Delivery
Taking a cue from Burger King, who has just introduced their new home delivery called Whoppers on Wheels, Starbucks will soon be unveiling its new Frappuccino Via FedEx.
People Are Starting To Take "Things" Into Their Own Hands
The American Medical Association says that due to the high unemployment rate they are seeing a tremendous increase in do-it-yourself operations for vasectomies, tubal ligations, and breast augmentations.
Walmart - The Proven Leader In Shopping Innovations
Walmart in an effort to cut back on expenses has decided to reduce its number of shopping carts by 20 percent. They plan to air commercials asking shoppers to please share carts with other shoppers.
The Lyrics Are Causing A Bit of A Problem
The Country Music Industry says that in order to try and project a more stable environment it's asking its writers to please cut back on using the words cheatin', drinkin', and spittin'.
You Cannot Say That Certain "T" Word In Iowa
The governor of Iowa has just banned the use of the word "Twitter." He is reported to have stated that the word just has that curse word sound about it.
Shakira - The Woman With The 124-MPH Hips
Police in Beverly Hills are investigating claims that after a woman took away her 9-year-old son's Shakira poster he became so upset that he threw three goldfish and four guppies at her.
President Obama Is A Wonderful Presidential Dad
President Obama and his family will be visiting Disney World and he remarked that the three kids are really going to have a ball, especially the big kid, Joey Biden.
The Illegal Aliens Just Keep On Going North
Many illegal aliens from Mexico, El Salvador, and Guatemala are having a hard time finding jobs in America so they are sneaking into Canada and working in the igloo construction business.
Third Grade Teacher Overrules Company's Spelling
SHELBY, MT--Ms. Torbitt doesn't care where 9-year-old Chris Spacer's dad works, 'Wearhouse' is not the correct spelling.
It's The Thought That Counts!
The Prime Minister's 'anything for me' to his postman this morning has at last brought a 'yes' reply. He said later, 'It's only a small one but at least it's a Christmas card.'
Joan "The Moan" Rivers Can Chew 'Em Up and Spit 'Em Out!
Chelsea Handler remarked that her recent meltdown was brought on by the fact that Joan Rivers said that she has all the charm and personality of a Preparation H Suppository.
Photos: NASA releases new moon pics requested by students! #2
"Kids, kids. You have to go outside more often", says NASA spokesman!
What No Rhino or Hippo?
I'm kinda thinking that the very first person who ever said the cliché, "The elephant in the room" had to have been associated with either the circus or else was a jungle native.
The World's Most Popular Misnamed Fish
Contrary to popular belief, jellyfish do not contain any jelly whatsoever, they do however contain an ever so slight amount of peanut butter.
Reverend Al Sharpton Speaks Out Again
After hearing that Wikipedia had gone black, Reverend Al Sharpton got all huffy and remarked that the proper term is African-American.
Let's See Now, What's That Saying?
A man in Detroit who kept getting lemons handed to him by life has reportedly OD'd on lemonade.
Ron Paul Is Good At Spotting The Difference
Ron Paul, who is perhaps the cleverest of all of the GOP candidates, said that the only difference between Mitt Romney and a department store mannequin is that the mannequin does not have any hair.
Pakistan Has Put Its Foot Down
Karachi, Pakistan is putting an end to its weekend elephant races after it was discovered that two of the elephants tested positive for alcohol.
Jon Huntsman Makes A Very Good Linguistic Point
Jon Huntsman says that another reason why he should be elected president is because he already speaks Chinese, which within 5 years will become the second language of most Americans.
Alec Baldwin Could Soon Become A "Non-Flyer"
Alec Baldwin has been banned by yet a third airline. If this keeps up he may end up having to travel from Los Angeles to New York City by Greyhound Bus.
The Expert From Paris, France
Authorities in Idaho have reported that they have broken up a counterfeit potato ring. The group was caught thanks to the diligent work of one of the world's leading French Fry investigators.
Mitt Romney Is A Whole Lot Richer Than He $ays
Mitt Romney is so rich that he hires gardeners who have their own gardeners.
Vanna White Reveals A Secret
Vanna White of The Wheel of Fortune has just announced that she has suddenly developed a phobia about letters and that she may have to end up having to quit her job as a letter turner.
Mitt Romney Gets Another Endorsement
And yet another noted individual has endorsed Mitt Romney. Charles Manson said he hopes Mitt is elected president because he knows that he'll let him out of prison because he told him so in a dream.
Mitt Romney Has A "Short" Fuse
Mitt Romney was quite upset after winning the New Hampshire primary after Ron Paul pointed out that New Hampshire is a very small state. Romney looked at Paul and said "So what's your point Shorty?"
They Say It's No Laughing Matter
Arizona has stated that they are banning the fad of binge tickling on all of its university campuses. They said that the loud laughing was making residents of New Mexico very nervous.
The Morning After The Mayan Prophecy
Apparently, the Jell-O chocolate pudding placated the gods of the Mayan prophecy.
Ron Paul Comments About Mickey and Donald
Congressman Ron Paul says he wants everyone to know that the rumors that he will be running campaign ads on The Disney Channel are totally false.
Stick Man Out There Somewhere
Police in Alvaton, Kentucky are looking for a stick man after police sketch artist drew him from descriptions by three kids who had been offered candy.
Petition calls for Piers Morgan to be deported from US
Oi! We don't want him back over here!
The GOP Presidential Debates Are Now In Reruns
Well it has now become official. The GOP Presidential Debates are even more boring than those tacky All-State "Mayhem" commercials.
Rep. Barney Frank Clears Up The Rumor
Rep. Barney Frank says that the rumor that he wants to adopt Clay Aiken is false. He then added that it's Adam Lambert that he wants to adopt.
Michele Bachmann Is Once Again A Very Happy Female
Michele Bachmann says she is happy that she decided to drop out of the Republican race because now she no longer has to answer any questions on her silly-as-hell looking hairdo.
Entry-Level NASA Employee Leaks: Space is Made Up
Lower-level Nasa employee has written an anonymous letter to TheSpoof indicating that while all this time we believed in space, it does not actually exist.
Banks to bulldoze Florida to expand Disney
Now that the people have no money left, banks will be bulldozing house to expand playgrounds for the rich. See hour lead story, "How to make your hose 'dozer ready"
It's All About Pudding
The U.S. Library of Congress acting in the interest of better nutritional habits has decided to replace the old cliché, "The proof is in the pudding" with "The proof is in the diet pudding."
Khloe Kardashian Will Be Starring In Yet Another Show
Khloe Kardashian, who at 5-foot-10-inches tall really does not resemble any of her sisters at all, has agreed to appear in a new reality game show called, Okay, Try To Guess Who My Real Daddy Is?
Jewish Book Festival cancelled
Apparently nobody wanted to buy copies of the books - they either wanted a free copy from a friend of a friend, stood in WH Smiths reading it for an hour, or they borrowed from the library...
The FBI Is Looking Into Traces of DNA
The U.S. Government said the unmanned drone that crash landed in Arizona did not come from Pakistan as had been originally believed. Reports are that it came from either Bolivia or the South Pole.
Real Working Mom Ann Romney
So how many housemaids, butlers, cooks, gardeners, baby sitters, nannies, window cleaners and tutors did this "couple of Cadillacs" driving mom really have?
President Bush Simply Shook His Head In Astonishment
It has just been revealed that Dubai was going to be renamed Dubya in honor of President George Bush but the idea was dropped when his mother Barbara Bush wrote a letter of protest.
Seeing is "BeeLieving"
Bee experts say that honeybees actually have hair on their eyes which explains why some people have actually found little itty bitty curlers in their jars of honey.
Big doings at New York's Citi Field tonight. The Mets are retiring Bernie Madoff's number. It's 162 million.
Mitt Romney And His $10,000 Bets
Mitt Romney reportedly bet Rick Perry $10,000 that John Huntsman will be the next GOP presidential candidate to drop out of the race.
Woman wondering if that's an extra period or unfinished ellipsis
BROOKLINE, MA--Amy Tripwaller wasn't sure if her friend's text, 'That made my day..see you tonight' contained a two dot ellipsis or an extra period, but she wasn't about to ask, either.
Blink and you'll miss him
A West London Hotel has changed the name of its top floor suite to Rafa Benitez to 'honour' the new Chelsea boss - saying the room is perfect for short stays.
It used to be named after Kim Kardashian
The DEA Said That It Gave It The Good Old Boy Try
The U.S. DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration's) new drug sniffing cow has not worked out due to the fact that it keeps stampeding.
The Occupy Wall Street Movement Welcomes Everyone
The oldest Occupy Wall Street protester is 97-years-old. When he was asked why he is protesting he replied, "Why is who protesting what?"
It Does Take A Lot To Impress Michelle Obama's Hubby
The word is that President Obama was not really too impressed with Disney World and is considering selling it to China for $900,000.
Rick Perry Will Finally Be Able To Get Back To His Main Priority
Rick Perry says that now that he has dropped out of the GOP presidential race he will have a lot more time to get back to carry out his 'executions' which he has kinda been ignoring a bit.
Sarah Palin - The Wilderness Queen of Alaska Is Getting Itchy
Sarah Palin texted Bill O'Reilly and said if he can convince Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, and Rick Santorum to drop out of the GOP race she may consider coming back to America and running.
You Cannot Pull Nothing Over On Sarah "Snowflake" Palin
Nancy Pelosi recently stated that Florida was bigger than England. Sarah Palin wanting to show her geographical expertise added, "And China is bigger than Connecticut."
All Cats Look A Like
Rick Santorum has accused Ron Paul of importing a cat from Siam. Paul shook his head and replied, "Ricky boy, get with the program, it's a Siamese Cat for goodness sakes."
Paula Abdul Heard Simon Cowell But She Just Wasn't Listening
Simon Cowell stated that when he fired X-Factor judge Paula Abdul she kinda looked at him like he was talking Greek. "The Sultan of Sarcasm" finally called up Gary Busey and he had him tell her.
Happened in Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
President Obama Has Found Another Way To Save Money
President Obama has announced that he will be eliminating the Department of Stress. The department has proved to be very costly and it has actually caused a lot more stress than it has prevented.
Good Olde Australia Comes Through
The United States has asked Australia for a loan. Australia says that it cannot really afford to send money but that instead it will be FedExing 15 kangaroos, 20 koala bears, and 40 boomerangs.
Another Chinese Food Recall
This time it's "Yan's Cream of Chicken Flu Soup"!
Mickey D's Is Helping The Economy
McDonald's has announced that they will be hiring over one million new employees in 2012. They stressed that they hope that this will raise the average age of a McDonald's employee from 13 to 15.
The Whoppers Aren't Exactly Whopping
Burger King has announced that they will be laying off 100,000 employees before the summer. McDonald's plans to hire most of them since they are already French Fry trained.
"Leave It To Beaver"
Rick Perry says that the big difference between Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum is that Mitt Romney looks like Ward Cleaver and Rick Santorum looks like June Cleaver.
Mexico Will Not Be A Happy Camper Country
The Republic of Mexico has stated that if they are invaded by the United States that Mexico will curtail its U.S. exports of tequila, jumping beans, and auto mechanics.
Sarah Palin Needs A Road Map
Quick, Sarah Palin needs a road map to find her way to the end of one of her own sentences.
Adele says she thinks Karl Lagerfeld's designs are lovely
But she thinks he's a little too fatuous.
The Pancakes Will Still Taste The Same
IHOP, the International House of Pancakes, in an effort to prevent a lawsuit, is dropping the name International and replacing it with the more politically correct National.
Tim Tebow Is One Awesome Hombre
Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow is an amazing athlete who played with hurt ribs, lungs, and chest. And that's refreshing in this day in age when some players sit out a game due to hurt feelings.
The Opportunistic Domnica Cermotan
The girlfriend of the captain of The Costa Concordia who was with him when the ship hit the rock has been offered $685 to appear in a nude layout in Playboy. She has reportedly accepted the offer.
McKinnon 'health grounds' revealed to be 'hacking cough'
The Moon to be 51st State
After hearing Newt Gingrich's comments the other day, the US is prepared to colonize the moon thus making it the 51st state in the Union.
Joan "The Moan" Rivers Is Just Never Happy
Joan Rivers says that she has mixed feelings about having a luxury cruise ship named after her. She said she likes the idea but hates the name, The Royal Bitch of The Caribbean.
Newt Gingrich Had Some Kinda Odd Role-Playing Going On There
Newt Gingrich's second ex-wife said that when they were first married he liked to play a strange game where he was Captain Kangaroo and she was Mr. Green Jeans.
NASA releases new moon pics requested by students!
"I think they now believe that we actually did have men on the moon at one time", says teacher.
Wenger Blames Global Warming For Recent Poor Form
"Well I've blamed everything else for us being a bit crap so why not this?" said the runny-nosed Gallic numpty last night
New 'Warmer' Christmas Day Announced For Britain!
David Cameron has announced a change to the calendar. From now on 25 December becomes 25 June. He said Boxing Day will still fall on 26 December but will now come the day after the readjusted 25 June!
Student couldn't care less if called Mike or Michael
LANGHORNE, PA--Neshaminy High School sophomore Michael Bellamy didn't really care if his English teacher Mr. Comeau called him Mike or Michael, but chose Mike because it has fewer syllables.
Vicar Converts Shed Into Brothel
"I used to keep garden tools and spare cassocks in the shed but now it's a thriving rub and tug shop and I'm pimping for 6 bitches! I cant wait to tell the bishop!"
So Governor Jan Brewer Wanted To Play Hardball Huh?
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer says that just because she had a little run in with President Obama that she now has to provide the government with a birth certificate and three credit cards.
Guatemala Is A Fun-Filled Place
The tiny country of Guatemala states that they have just developed a nuclear bomb. An hour later they reply, "Just kidding gringos!"
Marian Shields Robinson Has A Very Unique Job
Ann "Jemima" Dayskill, the White House chief cook, says that there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons in the White House. She said Michelle Obama's mama gets paid to count them every three days.
Home Runs Aren't As Easy As They Used To Be
A recent survey on dating by women in their late 20s shows that 80% are now waiting until at least the third date before they allow their boyfriends to get to third base.
Mitt Romney Is Looking To Get The Pope's Endorsement
Mitt Romney is so upset at losing to Newt Gingrich in the South Carolina primary that he told his wife that he may change his religion from Mormon to Catholic.
Local Man Has Adequate Insurance Cover
Threatens to lump opera singing moustachioed twat off TV ads if he keeps sending spam emails.
Web links in Breaking News items may not be such a great idea
Click here to find out why
Keeping abreast of the news
The Man Is One Boring GOPer
Late-night talk show hosts absolutely hate Mitt Romney because they say that he is about as funny as a handful of ocean seaweed.
Man Loses Letter "C" from Keyboard
"It's been an absolute unt ever sine I bought the fuker" he said last night
Silent Movie Set For Clean Sweep At Oscars
A delighted movie insider said last night "....................................!"
Apple chief takes a smaller bite
The boss of Apple saw his pay package including stock options drop 99% from $378m last year to just $4.12m this year. TOUGH TIMES INDEED.
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