Rupert Murdoch calls Google pirates, Johnny Depp just jumped overboard!
Rupert Murdoch has branded Google a bunch of wild pirates and Johnny Depp was last seen jumping over board the HMS Google.
London 2012 will be a hot-bed of disease!
The London Olympics promises to be a hot-bed of disease according to scientists. All athletes and visitors from strange countries will be quarantined for 6 months; they better hurry up!
Ricky Gervais subdued at Globes awards!
Host Ricky Gervais was rather subdued than normal at the Globes awards, instead of telling Johnny Depp "to get a life" this year he told him to "fuck off". Good old-fashioned Brit slapstick!
Italian cruise ship was off course? Never!
The Italian cruise ship that went aground off the Island of Giglio was off course. What a surprise, the Italian understatement of the century apart from Berlusconi!
Osborne trip to China.
George Osbornes mission to China could be critical, only if he is shot down by North Korea of course.
Cost Of Retail Crime Soars.
Retail crime cost the high street £1.4bn last year-up around a third on 2010-according to a retail consortium survey.
No shit Sherlocks, watch it rocket to infinity and beyond during 2012!!
Clegghorn Unveils Squat!
Employee share ownership will be radically increased to create a 'John lewis economy" under new plans unveiled by Clegghorn Foghorn. More like a feckin' 99p shop economy to me, get back in your box!
Arsene Wenger demands red cards for "imbecile" referees!
Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger, is demanding red cards for referees, "imbeciles!" But only if the decision goes against his beloved Arsenal. If it's for them play should continue, sacre bleu!
Turkish court to press ahead with breach of privacy charges against Duchess of York.
its Turkish Delight v Yorkie.
Ron Paul Is Good At Spotting The Difference
Ron Paul, who is perhaps the cleverest of all of the GOP candidates, said that the only difference between Mitt Romney and a department store mannequin is that the mannequin does not have any hair.
Let's See Now, What's That Saying?
A man in Detroit who kept getting lemons handed to him by life has reportedly OD'd on lemonade.
Mitt Romney Is A Whole Lot Richer Than He $ays
Mitt Romney is so rich that he hires gardeners who have their own gardeners.
What No Rhino or Hippo?
I'm kinda thinking that the very first person who ever said the cliché, "The elephant in the room" had to have been associated with either the circus or else was a jungle native.
Conservatives pick usual decent Candidate for next Elections!
No no... sorry that should read "Conservatives pick the usual devious Candidate....!