A Pill for Dieting without Exercising
Scientists have developed a pill which can cause the obese to lose weight without even exercising. The problem is that the pill will be so expensive that you will not be able to afford to buy food!
Tesco Hit Hard By Christmas Sales Plunge,
Tesco report its worst Christmas sales performance in decades........sweet justice for a pack of overpriced mongrels...every LIDL helps!!
M&S female staff hang it all out in their naked calendar!
M&S female staff have hung everything thing out in their naked calendar proving that even the stuffy old M&S like a bit of raunchy S&M too!
Internet Addiction Causes Changes To The Brain Say Chinese Experts
'Those affected find it takes a long time to get started,'say scientists, 'and their brains simply shut down, with a complete loss of memory, every time they are finishing something really important.'
James Bond Villains Blamed For Poor Image Of Nuclear Power
'It's not just Dr No and nuclear,' said an analyst. 'There's Oddjob and the hat industry, Jaws and dentistry, Morenzy and shoes, Blofeld and cats, and NASA blames Hugo Drax for the Shuttle's demise.'
Hunt On For People Who Have Never Been Offended By Jeremy Clarkson
'Indian complaints about "Top Gear" have led the BBC, in the interests of balance, to seek a group never offended by Jeremy Clarkson,' said a spokesman. 'Reports from one Amazon tribe seem promising.'
Male escort dates female escort care via 'Take Me Out'
Couldn't they have just got together via the agency?
BBC boss defends Sherlock nudity
'We're thinking of launching a babestation type channel and this was market research'
Students warned over wonga loans
Borrow today - repay for life!
Woman with two vaginas appears on This Morning
Russel Brand and John Terry have been in touch about a threesome but she's keeping tight lipped on the matter.
'Take Me Out' girl is secret hooker
'Take Me Out - And take me home - if you got the cash'
Red wine researcher suspected of falsifying data, masking real benefit of drink
A UConn professor is accused of falsifying data in studies depicting the benefits to cardiovascular health of drinking red wine. Turns out the only benefit is that it gets you shithouse drunk.
written by Lyndon
, 12 January 2012
Cut the working week to 20 hours - to boost growth say economists!
In that case, minimum wage earners would get less to live on a week than David Cameron spends on one bottle of champers!
Ready Steady Cook chef done for shoplifting 5 times!
Star of Ready Steady Cook, Worrall Thompson, 60, was caught shoplifting 5 times in 16 days at a Tesco store.
He accepted a caution for all five offences.
"We might rename the show Ready, Steal, Cook?"
Ed Miliband needs to get out and clearly explain himself to voters
Ed Miliband needs to get out and clearly explain himself to voters if Labour are to win the next election, former Home Secretary Alan Johnson warns.
US Marines Urinate On Slain Taliban
A Pentagon source explained "The boys were just trying to disinfect their beards before handing them over to their grieving families....honest"
The Zoo Is Now Smoke-Free
The city of Indianapolis is imposing a smoking ban at the Indianapolis Zoo after several zoo visitors reported seeing a chimp smoking a Marlboro Light.
Costa Rica Has Had Second Thoughts (And Thank Goodness)
Costa Rica has stated that they are cancelling the launching of their manned spaceship to the sun for the obvious reason.
Michele Bachmann Is Just A Very, Very, Very Avid Collector
Michele Bachmann stated that the fact that on the night of the Iowa Caucus local authorities found 13 AK-47's in her campaign bus had absolutely nothing to do with her dropping out of the GOP race.
Vice-President Joe Biden Doesn't Seem To Get Much Respect
Vice-President Joe Biden met with President Obama and asked him if he can have a parking space on the White House grounds instead of having to park out in the street.
This Arizona Dude Is One Sick Puppy
A very strange man in Arizona told a judge that he wants to marry an ostrich. The judge kept a straight face and said that he'll allow it if the man pays the $2 million marriage license fee.
Wisconsin Decides To Put Its Cheesy Foot Down
The state of Wisconsin has turned down a request from a group associated with the Taliban due to the fact that if they let them in Al Qaeda will probably request that their group be allowed in next.
The FOX News Reporter Had A Whole Lotta Egg On His Face
A FOX News reporter stated that a fisherman in Louisiana had caught a 400 pound octopus that had eight humongous testicles. The reporter later corrected the story to read eight humongous tentacles.
The Pill Works But...
A group of research scientists in Wales have discovered a pill that completely cures athletes foot in 15 seconds. But unfortunately it only works on athletes.
China Has Its Eye On A Certain Western City
Reports are that China has informed President Obama that it wants to buy Phoenix, Arizona. Obama says that he'll take $900,000 and not a penny less.
Newt Gingrich Has Got Some News For Sarah Palin
Newt Gingrich says he hates Sarah Palin so much that if he is elected president he'll prohibit her from setting foot in the Continental United States or as "Snowflake" calls it "Ya know da Lower 48."
The Somali Pirates Are Up To Their Old Beach Tricks
Zanzibar is reporting that the Somali pirate problem is really getting out of hand. Authorities report that just since September pirates have commandeered over 700 surfboards.
The Late Tea Bag Party
The Idaho Tea Bag Party has closed it's office after one of the two members yelled out at a meeting, "The hell with this tea baggin' crapola, I quitting and going over to President Obama's side."