Millions of Britons could starve to death as foreign cooks won’t be allowed into the country after Brexit
Politicians are warning that millions of lives could be lost after Britain exits the EU, if tough immigration laws proposed by the government are enacted. These laws would mean that workers from Europe would no longer be allowed into the country unle...
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Scottish Football's Last Chance
The swivelling bowel of corruption that is FIFA has farted out it's newest half baked after birth covered idea. The world cup will be expanded to 48 teams. The declaration which was nailed onto the drawbridge at fortress FIFA read that by 2022, like...
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Scotland's Qualifying Surge
Unrealistic expectations soared in throughout Scottish football as the national team (ranked below the Egyptian blind team) beat the mighty Malta 2-0. Despite having no chance to realistically qualify for this (or any other) international tournament...
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New Species Of Brown Trout Discovered In Scottish Loch
There was great excitement in Scotland earlier this afternoon, when an entirely new species of Brown Trout was discovered in Loch Laidon on Rannoch Moor on the border of Argyll and Bute, and Perthshire. There are already four other species of bro...
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Trump Has Deployed Troops To Hotels and Golf Courses All Over the World in Latest Emergency
Mir-A-Lago, FL President Trump announced in a tweet early Thursday morning that he would be deploying troops to various spots around the world due to a top-secret emergency. Some of the locations include Mumbai, India, Rio de Janeiro in Brazil, M...
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Where are they now? Football hit singles
"We've made it to the first qualifying round of the Birmingham Spaghetti Junction All Comers' Floodlight trophy. I know, let's make a record." There was once a time when even the most mundane event in a football team's history would spawn a record release, but now thankfully it seems that these mind numbing ditties have died a death. Apparently it all started in the 1930s with Arsenal releas...
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Rangers' chairman devises plan to pay clubs tax bill
Commonwealth Games Anger as Scotland Men are Disqualified from Hopscotch Event
"Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian
Scottish Refs See Red
Scots celebrate Burns Night
Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off
Translation software breaks down - no-one can understand Scots any more
Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!
Ping Pong Legend Pong Ping Poo Dies Aged 97
Bears WR tells Scottish reporter about Viagra use in the NFL
Question of Independence for Scotland Takes Unexpected Turn
Obama - "Scotland's For Me!"
Football Gossip: Klopp vs. Mourinho, Scotland Women, Oh No! MAUREEN SACKED
After his ailing team's 3-1 defeat on Sunday,"manager" of Manchester United, Jose Mourinho revealed the contrast in management style between him and Liverpool's Juergen Klopp . Klopp's philosophy is that a win is credited to his players but in the ca...
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Scotland join Africa Cup of Nations
British team Scotland were last minute entries to the African Cup of Nations today, as they pursued their bid to get independence from the United Kingdom. Scotland First Minister Alex Salmond started the ball rolling two weeks ago when he pushed P...
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Even More Breaking News Than Yesterday
THE WIRED STREET URINAL Reporter: KR Schwartz August 30th 2019 This morning, Scotland’s first Minister Nicola Sturgeon announced the unprecedented action of nationalizing U.S. President Donald Trump's two golf courses in Scotland, Aberdeen &...
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Pick Me Up Before You Sex Offend
A Scottish “pickup artist” who refers to himself as Addy A-Game has been jailed for two years for threatening behaviour towards women in the street. Mr A-Game would secretly film himself walking up to random ladies in quiet streets, and running some...
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SNP Daewoo Deepfry
Initial Impressions The deepfry is actually a solid and reliable vehicle despite its rather poor history. It does still sadly have a tendency to only go in one direction, and to break down when put under pressure. As usual, it is badly let down by...
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"Alex Salmond would do well to remember Panama.."
A friend told me about a week or so before we left that he couldn't quite believe it was actually happening and weren't we concerned about racism. I recall frowning with genuine confusion. It wasn't as though John had ever been one to over-dramatise, that always fell to his wife, Lucy, and even as we had this conversation, she was frantically talking to her mother, advising her where the 'Meni...
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Ancient Document Sheds Light on Trumps Scottish Ancestry
It has been revealed that an ancient and valuable document has been found in the Outer Hebrides, part of Scotland, relating to POTUS Donald Trump's Scottish ancestry. The delicate parchment was discovered in a previously-unsearched chamber, deep b...
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Climate change "will not affect Scotland"
Scotland is known for its dark winters, cool summers and a constant drizzle which ensures that nobody in the country has ever tasted a dry chip. In the UN's latest climate change report, it predicts that nothing will change. The report says that a...
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Football Results & comments 15th August 2012
International Friendlies England 2 Italy 1 England gained revenge for their Euro 2012 with a victory over the Azurri. The match was played in the Wankdorf Stadium in Berne, Switzerland. With a stadium name like that it's a surprise Wayne Rooney and John Terry weren't in the squad. Scotland 3 Australia 1 The Scots beat the mighty Australians to move up to 3rd in the Cricket World Rankings.
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Posthoorn Interview no. 6: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Holiday prepper'?
Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. With Brexit looming, and maybe having to leave the Netherlands, Tom is prepping himself to live back in Scotland. Before going on holiday the reporter of the world...
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Alex Salmond Promises Scottish Only Music Charts On Independence Free of English Queerness
After a tough week in which critics and supporters both agreed that he hadn't fared well in the first live television debate, Alex Salmond has decided to go for the youth vote, promising that never again will Scotland have to listen to the Top 40 wh...
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Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave
- IFL Group, an Internet marketing agency in Aberdeen brought in the system - Punishment is used on 'a minority' of workers with low productivity or who misbehave - Bosses smacking their employees will 'encourage other workers to work harder'...
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Andy Murray to Retire to Concentrate on Haggis Farming
Everybody's favourite Scottish curmudgeon, Andy Murray, lost in five sets to some Spanish bloke nobody cares about, after having produced a superb fightback in the Australian Open first round. In what might or might not have been his final match,...
Read full storyFunny Scotland Headlines
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Leona Lewis Tells Longtime Boyfriend Lou Al-Chamaa "It's The World Cup Games or Me?" - Lou Chooses The World Cup Games
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Soupathon 2010 Xfactor
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New Scottish pricing policy to cost food in units of alcohol that could be purchased
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Kate fears 'buried alive horror' as William exiled to Lossiemouth
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More Haggis Eaten In England Than Scotland
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Scotland independence bid to boost UK Eurovision Song Contest hopes
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Susan Boyle In Violent Outburst Demolishes Scotland
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Scots - The mothers of invention?
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Glory Holes to be built into new Scottish homes Outrage
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Posthoorn Interview no. 2: Is Tom first 'Brexit prepper'?
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Interview with The Loch Ness Monster
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Scotland Sacked By Scots
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Rooney On Target For Inverness Caledonian Thistle
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Grounded nuclear sub was eavesdropping on Scottish Nationalists
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Scotland 3012 .A.D
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As Russia And Ukraine Head Towards War English Troops Massing At Scottish Border
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Weather Forecaster Breaks Endurance Record on Television in Norway
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Six foot snow drifts in Scotland yesterday as school janitor goes missing looking for missing pupil
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Donald Trump Hopes To Assuage UK Leaders When He Meets With Big Ben
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Empress Nicola tempts London Mayor with Scottish Guile
