The SPL and Aberdeen
With Covid-19 slowing its murderous dance across the world, sports are beginning to start up again, albeit with no spectators. Every sport has been affected in its own unique way: rugby teams, for example, have had to cut down on throwing dwarves aro...
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Donald Trump Hopes To Assuage UK Leaders When He Meets With Big Ben
Facing widespread condemnation from US Allies, Donald Trump is on a charm offensive to win over his critics in the UK and prove once and for all that he has the temperament to be a world leader. "I'm going to meet with Big Ben," the Don Tweeted, "...
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Pick Me Up Before You Sex Offend
A Scottish “pickup artist” who refers to himself as Addy A-Game has been jailed for two years for threatening behaviour towards women in the street. Mr A-Game would secretly film himself walking up to random ladies in quiet streets, and running some...
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Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave
- IFL Group, an Internet marketing agency in Aberdeen brought in the system - Punishment is used on 'a minority' of workers with low productivity or who misbehave - Bosses smacking their employees will 'encourage other workers to work harder'...
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President Trump Reveals That Voices in His Head Are Telling Him to Drop Out of the Race
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Reports are that President Trump’s popularity numbers are dropping quicker than a prostitute’s underwear. The President’s top campaign advisers say that, at this rate, Minnie Mouse may end up getting more write-in votes than Tru…
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Bagpipes To Be Phased Out
The traditional sound of Highland bagpipes, the musical accomplishment of a thousand years of Scottish heritage, is to be phased out over the next twelve months, after it emerged that many people don't like it, and countless others find it downright...
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Haggis Arrested Following Robbery
Money Found Growing On Tree In Scotland
Scotland Vows To Stop Graffiti Vandals
The Scottish Santa Claus
'Stop Using Loch Ness As A Toilet' aliens told amid UFO 'blue ice' dump
Alex Salmond Promises Scottish Only Music Charts On Independence Free of English Queerness
War declared on Jeremy Clarkson by SBIA
Pope Benedict XVI Has The Hots For Susan Boyle!
Football Gossip & comments 5th August 2012
SPL to play abroad?
SFA Vote For Radical Changes
Pope's itinerary to the UK marred by bad grammar

Homebuyers "Thin On The Ground"
Astonishing research released today demonstrates that home buying really does affect Scots' figures. Scotland's surveyors have reported optimism among house sellers, despite buyers remaining "thin on the ground". The Royal Institution of Charte...
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Mandatory face masks in shops causes concern - ‘What’s the problem?’ said Robbie the Robber
Boris Johnson is concerned that his message for everyone to wear masks in shops, banks and post offices may be taken advantage of. ‘Business has been slow,’ said Robbie the Robber, ‘but this idea of Boris’, everyone wearing masks, is great, as no…
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Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!
English custom's authorities, police and military are on red alert after a border invasion of ginger-headed (Not Harry he's got other problems), kilt wearing, whisky smelling, bagpipe playing Scots entered the country today in seek of revenge! OK,...
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Rangers F.C. Scottish footie giants go bust!
One of Scotland's most proud heritages could go bust, Rangers F.C. Footie giants in Scotland and minnows around the world face a dire financial period hoping that the Inland Revenue doesn't knock on their door again. The Scottish renowned for thei...
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Susan Boyle In Violent Outburst Demolishes Scotland
In scenes straight out of the Marvel's Avengers Assemble, Susan Boyle in a fit of rage destroyed the nation of Scotland over the weekend, but luckily there were no fatalities. Following months of gruelling work, SuBo as she is known to her fans had b...
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Van der Sloot Given 3 Months to Live after Contracting Malaria; Granted Humanitarian Release to Scotland!
In a shocking report just released today by the European Union Council of Ministers regarding the Human Rights and Health and Safety of Incarcerated Felons, Joran van der Sloot has been granted a humanitarian release by the Peruvian government when i...
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Plans to move Scotland's Biggest Bank to Iceland put on ice
Scottish business tycoon Ralph Tweedie attempt to buy Scotland's largest bank for a pound and to relocate its entire operation to Iceland has now finally been put to rest. The idea was born out of the fear that Scotland would become independent and...
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Frankie Boyle In Hot Water Again (No Pun Intended)
It appears that controversial Jockinese joker and, in the words of novelist Stephen King: "officious little prick" Frankie Boyle has once again landed himself in hot water (Boyling water - no pun intended) by contriving to be controversial. Again.
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Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes
If the Scots votes Yes to an Independent Scotland in September, they are facing a huge bill from the rest of the UK. "We're going to charge the Scots for the cost of removing Scotland from the UK," said Boris Johnson, momentarily forgetting his us...
Read full storyFunny Scotland Headlines
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Independence Air stretches its wings to the ‘Home of Golf'
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Royal Bank of Scotland Issues New Big Tender Notes, European Bank May Strongly Object?
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Beckham / Iannucci split in the offing?
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Rooney On Target For Inverness Caledonian Thistle
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SNP Deny Anti English Sentiment
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Mybster To Dunbeath: The Journey Continues..
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Football Gossip - WORLD CUP QUALIFYING September 2012
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Wings Over Scotland forced to withdraw 'Learn to Count with Wings' maths books as the figures don't add up
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Commonwealth Games Anger as Scotland Men are Disqualified from Hopscotch Event
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Andy Murray to Retire to Concentrate on Haggis Farming
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Translation software breaks down - no-one can understand Scots any more
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Unsuspecting Scot Wins Talent Show
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Cameron Reveals Long Term Plan For Scottish Tories
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Lewis Court Seeks Solomon To Decide Cat Case
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England Prepares For Scottish Independence
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Irish lose their friendliest nation title...to the Scots
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New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north
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Nicola Sturgeon sells 'Great Seal of Scotland'
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Too Many Cooks Spoilt Broth
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Millions of Britons could starve to death as foreign cooks won’t be allowed into the country after Brexit