Funny story - Bagpipes To Be Phased Out

Bagpipes To Be Phased Out

The traditional sound of Highland bagpipes, the musical accomplishment of a thousand years of Scottish heritage, is to be phased out over the next twelve months, after it emerged that many people don't like it, and countless others find it downright...

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Funny story - Where are they now? Football hit singles

Where are they now? Football hit singles

"We've made it to the first qualifying round of the Birmingham Spaghetti Junction All Comers' Floodlight trophy. I know, let's make a record." There was once a time when even the most mundane event in a football team's history would spawn a record release, but now thankfully it seems that these mind numbing ditties have died a death. Apparently it all started in the 1930s with Arsenal releas...

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Funny story - Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave

Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave

- IFL Group, an Internet marketing agency in Aberdeen brought in the system - Punishment is used on 'a minority' of workers with low productivity or who misbehave - Bosses smacking their employees will 'encourage other workers to work harder'...

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Funny story - Donald Trump Hopes To Assuage UK Leaders When He Meets With Big Ben

Donald Trump Hopes To Assuage UK Leaders When He Meets With Big Ben

Facing widespread condemnation from US Allies, Donald Trump is on a charm offensive to win over his critics in the UK and prove once and for all that he has the temperament to be a world leader. "I'm going to meet with Big Ben," the Don Tweeted, "...

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Funny story - Andy Murray to Retire to Concentrate on Haggis Farming

Andy Murray to Retire to Concentrate on Haggis Farming

Everybody's favourite Scottish curmudgeon, Andy Murray, lost in five sets to some Spanish bloke nobody cares about, after having produced a superb fightback in the Australian Open first round. In what might or might not have been his final match,...

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Funny story - Commonwealth Games Anger as Scotland Men are Disqualified from Hopscotch Event

Commonwealth Games Anger as Scotland Men are Disqualified from Hopscotch Event

In an exclusive interview with our sports editor, Paxton Quigley, Scotland’s Team Manager, Jock MacSporran claimed full responsibility for the dismal failure and eventual disqualification of his men’s team from the hopscotch event at the Gold Coast’s...

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Funny story - Scotland defend the release of cancer ridden "Evil Bombing Bastard", Scotland couldn't even defend against Andorra!

Scotland defend the release of cancer ridden "Evil Bombing Bastard", Scotland couldn't even defend against Andorra!

The Lockerbie bomber and a very evil bastard has been released from a Scottish prison and been given a heroes welcome by Gadaffi and his terrorist cronies! Meanwhile Scotland defend the release and meanwhile attempt to defend their Gaol against An...

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Funny story - Pick Me Up Before You Sex Offend

Pick Me Up Before You Sex Offend

A Scottish “pickup artist” who refers to himself as Addy A-Game has been jailed for two years for threatening behaviour towards women in the street. Mr A-Game would secretly film himself walking up to random ladies in quiet streets, and running some...

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Funny story - Haggis ignore social-distancing

Haggis ignore social-distancing

Coppers have arrested a gaggle of raucous haggis who decided to turn deaf ear to new social-distancing regulations by having a tear-up on Glen Tilt. Authorities arrived at scenes of utter degradation just after one o’clock this morning, after bein...

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Funny story - Preparations for G8 Summit Take a Step Forward

Preparations for G8 Summit Take a Step Forward

As the eyes of the world turn to the bonny hills of Scotland, G8 participants are gearing themselves up for their Highland Fling under the folds my own voluminous skirts.

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Funny story - Statues cause protests in London

Statues cause protests in London

Protests have been held in London to campaign against a series of statues of Gordon Brown's head which have been put up around London as part of a PR campaign to make the "Not the dour Scotsman" more widely accepted.

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Funny story - Scottish Conservatives appoint new MSP - Archie the inventor

Scottish Conservatives appoint new MSP - Archie the inventor

Following the resignation of their 'best hope for an MSP' Jimmy Buchan, the Scottish Conservatives have today appointed a new candidate ahead of the Holyrood elections. Archie the inventor from the highly popular TV series Balamory is to stand in...

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Funny story - Haggisburgers Are Coming

Haggisburgers Are Coming

Glaswegian fast-food magnate, Ronnie MacDonald (no relation), has predicted that his latest culinary invention, the haggisburger, will revolutionise take-away eating throughout the world. "The haggisburger is coming," he declared proudly, "and wil...

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Funny story - Queen Declares Haggis as Scottish State Bird

Queen Declares Haggis as Scottish State Bird

Following a series of announcements designed to transition Scotland to a more independent state, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II has declared that Haggis should now be considered the Scottish State Bird. Immediately engaged in damage control over...

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Funny story - Money Found Growing On Tree In Scotland

Money Found Growing On Tree In Scotland

There was great excitement in Scotland yesterday, when money was discovered growing on a tree. Tree experts have said this is the first reported case of the phenomenon in Britain.

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Funny story - Posthoorn Interview no. 4: Tom 'Brexit prepper', the SAD truth

Posthoorn Interview no. 4: Tom 'Brexit prepper', the SAD truth

Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. The reporter of the world famous weekly newspaper The Posthoorn (chosen by 75% of their readers as their favorite alternative cat litter) heard on the grapevine that To...

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Funny story - Hadrian's Wall To Be Made Higher, Stronger To Keep Scots Out

Hadrian's Wall To Be Made Higher, Stronger To Keep Scots Out

Hadrian's Wall, the structure built by the Romans to keep Scottish people from encroaching into England, is to be fortified at a cost of £28billion of taxpayers' money - money, says the government, that would...

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Funny story - Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!

Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!

English custom's authorities, police and military are on red alert after a border invasion of ginger-headed (Not Harry he's got other problems), kilt wearing, whisky smelling, bagpipe playing Scots entered the country today in seek of revenge! OK,...

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Funny story - Homebuyers "Thin On The Ground"

Homebuyers "Thin On The Ground"

Astonishing research released today demonstrates that home buying really does affect Scots' figures. Scotland's surveyors have reported optimism among house sellers, despite buyers remaining "thin on the ground". The Royal Institution of Charte...

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Funny story - Scotland Divided On Eve Of Independence

Scotland Divided On Eve Of Independence

Latest opinion polls put the voting in Scotland at 50-50 and a dead heat is on the cards. Our Spoof man in Scotland Jamus McWiley has asked Alex Salmon, the Scottish Chief what he will do about this. 'We shall have a recount' he said 'and if the v...

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