Funny story - The SPL and Aberdeen

The SPL and Aberdeen

With Covid-19 slowing its murderous dance across the world, sports are beginning to start up again, albeit with no spectators. Every sport has been affected in its own unique way: rugby teams, for example, have had to cut down on throwing dwarves aro...

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Funny story - Donald Trump Hopes To Assuage UK Leaders When He Meets With Big Ben

Donald Trump Hopes To Assuage UK Leaders When He Meets With Big Ben

Facing widespread condemnation from US Allies, Donald Trump is on a charm offensive to win over his critics in the UK and prove once and for all that he has the temperament to be a world leader. "I'm going to meet with Big Ben," the Don Tweeted, "...

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Funny story - Pick Me Up Before You Sex Offend

Pick Me Up Before You Sex Offend

A Scottish “pickup artist” who refers to himself as Addy A-Game has been jailed for two years for threatening behaviour towards women in the street. Mr A-Game would secretly film himself walking up to random ladies in quiet streets, and running some...

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Funny story - Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave

Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave

- IFL Group, an Internet marketing agency in Aberdeen brought in the system - Punishment is used on 'a minority' of workers with low productivity or who misbehave - Bosses smacking their employees will 'encourage other workers to work harder'...

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Funny story - President Trump Reveals That Voices in His Head Are Telling Him to Drop Out of the Race

President Trump Reveals That Voices in His Head Are Telling Him to Drop Out of the Race

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Reports are that President Trump’s popularity numbers are dropping quicker than a prostitute’s underwear. The President’s top campaign advisers say that, at this rate, Minnie Mouse may end up getting more write-in votes than Tru…

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Funny story - Bagpipes To Be Phased Out

Bagpipes To Be Phased Out

The traditional sound of Highland bagpipes, the musical accomplishment of a thousand years of Scottish heritage, is to be phased out over the next twelve months, after it emerged that many people don't like it, and countless others find it downright...

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Funny story - Homebuyers "Thin On The Ground"

Homebuyers "Thin On The Ground"

Astonishing research released today demonstrates that home buying really does affect Scots' figures. Scotland's surveyors have reported optimism among house sellers, despite buyers remaining "thin on the ground". The Royal Institution of Charte...

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Funny story - Mandatory face masks in shops causes concern - ‘What’s the problem?’ said Robbie the Robber

Mandatory face masks in shops causes concern - ‘What’s the problem?’ said Robbie the Robber

Boris Johnson is concerned that his message for everyone to wear masks in shops, banks and post offices may be taken advantage of. ‘Business has been slow,’ said Robbie the Robber, ‘but this idea of Boris’, everyone wearing masks, is great, as no…

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Funny story - Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!

Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!

English custom's authorities, police and military are on red alert after a border invasion of ginger-headed (Not Harry he's got other problems), kilt wearing, whisky smelling, bagpipe playing Scots entered the country today in seek of revenge! OK,...

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Funny story - Rangers F.C. Scottish footie giants go bust!

Rangers F.C. Scottish footie giants go bust!

One of Scotland's most proud heritages could go bust, Rangers F.C. Footie giants in Scotland and minnows around the world face a dire financial period hoping that the Inland Revenue doesn't knock on their door again. The Scottish renowned for thei...

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Funny story - Susan Boyle In Violent Outburst Demolishes Scotland

Susan Boyle In Violent Outburst Demolishes Scotland

In scenes straight out of the Marvel's Avengers Assemble, Susan Boyle in a fit of rage destroyed the nation of Scotland over the weekend, but luckily there were no fatalities. Following months of gruelling work, SuBo as she is known to her fans had b...

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Funny story - Statues cause protests in London

Statues cause protests in London

Protests have been held in London to campaign against a series of statues of Gordon Brown's head which have been put up around London as part of a PR campaign to make the "Not the dour Scotsman" more widely accepted.

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Funny story - Scotland Adrift - Full Emergency

Scotland Adrift - Full Emergency

EDINBURGH - Emergency services have been put on full alert as news is breaking that Scotland has broken away from it's moorings and is adrift somewhere in the North Sea.

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Funny story - Van der Sloot Given 3 Months to Live after Contracting Malaria; Granted Humanitarian Release to Scotland!

Van der Sloot Given 3 Months to Live after Contracting Malaria; Granted Humanitarian Release to Scotland!

In a shocking report just released today by the European Union Council of Ministers regarding the Human Rights and Health and Safety of Incarcerated Felons, Joran van der Sloot has been granted a humanitarian release by the Peruvian government when i...

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Funny story - Plans to move Scotland's Biggest Bank to Iceland put on ice

Plans to move Scotland's Biggest Bank to Iceland put on ice

Scottish business tycoon Ralph Tweedie attempt to buy Scotland's largest bank for a pound and to relocate its entire operation to Iceland has now finally been put to rest. The idea was born out of the fear that Scotland would become independent and...

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Funny story - Haggis ignore social-distancing

Haggis ignore social-distancing

Coppers have arrested a gaggle of raucous haggis who decided to turn deaf ear to new social-distancing regulations by having a tear-up on Glen Tilt. Authorities arrived at scenes of utter degradation just after one o’clock this morning, after bein...

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Funny story - Frankie Boyle In Hot Water Again (No Pun Intended)

Frankie Boyle In Hot Water Again (No Pun Intended)

It appears that controversial Jockinese joker and, in the words of novelist Stephen King: "officious little prick" Frankie Boyle has once again landed himself in hot water (Boyling water - no pun intended) by contriving to be controversial. Again.

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Funny story - Global Warming links to Decline of Haggis

Global Warming links to Decline of Haggis

Researchers from Glasgow University have linked the decline in Haggis to Global Warming. Professor Robertson commented that the recent warm weather had spoiled the Haggis traditional feeding ground.

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Funny story - Ibiza DJ rocks working men's club

Ibiza DJ rocks working men's club

One of the world's most famous DJs has taken a break from Ibiza clubbing to play a gig in a small Scottish town.

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Funny story - Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes

Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes

If the Scots votes Yes to an Independent Scotland in September, they are facing a huge bill from the rest of the UK. "We're going to charge the Scots for the cost of removing Scotland from the UK," said Boris Johnson, momentarily forgetting his us...

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