Bagpipes To Be Phased Out
The traditional sound of Highland bagpipes, the musical accomplishment of a thousand years of Scottish heritage, is to be phased out over the next twelve months, after it emerged that many people don't like it, and countless others find it downright...
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Where are they now? Football hit singles
"We've made it to the first qualifying round of the Birmingham Spaghetti Junction All Comers' Floodlight trophy. I know, let's make a record." There was once a time when even the most mundane event in a football team's history would spawn a record release, but now thankfully it seems that these mind numbing ditties have died a death. Apparently it all started in the 1930s with Arsenal releas...
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Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave
- IFL Group, an Internet marketing agency in Aberdeen brought in the system - Punishment is used on 'a minority' of workers with low productivity or who misbehave - Bosses smacking their employees will 'encourage other workers to work harder'...
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Donald Trump Hopes To Assuage UK Leaders When He Meets With Big Ben
Facing widespread condemnation from US Allies, Donald Trump is on a charm offensive to win over his critics in the UK and prove once and for all that he has the temperament to be a world leader. "I'm going to meet with Big Ben," the Don Tweeted, "...
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Andy Murray to Retire to Concentrate on Haggis Farming
Everybody's favourite Scottish curmudgeon, Andy Murray, lost in five sets to some Spanish bloke nobody cares about, after having produced a superb fightback in the Australian Open first round. In what might or might not have been his final match,...
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Commonwealth Games Anger as Scotland Men are Disqualified from Hopscotch Event
In an exclusive interview with our sports editor, Paxton Quigley, Scotland’s Team Manager, Jock MacSporran claimed full responsibility for the dismal failure and eventual disqualification of his men’s team from the hopscotch event at the Gold Coast’s...
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Football Gossip - WORLD CUP QUALIFYING September 2012
Tennis: Scottish Man almost British after five set classic
Thousands Of Scots Didn't Know They Were Part Of U.K. Until Referendum
Trumpster 'Tee-D Off'
Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip
Scotland Wants Own Olympic Team
Ping Pong Legend Pong Ping Poo Dies Aged 97
Ryder Cup Congratulations
Scotland's "War on Haggis" not working
Haggis Arrested Following Robbery
Posthoorn Interview no. 6: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Holiday prepper'?
Scottish Safari - We Hunt Lichen
Scotland defend the release of cancer ridden "Evil Bombing Bastard", Scotland couldn't even defend against Andorra!
The Lockerbie bomber and a very evil bastard has been released from a Scottish prison and been given a heroes welcome by Gadaffi and his terrorist cronies! Meanwhile Scotland defend the release and meanwhile attempt to defend their Gaol against An...
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Pick Me Up Before You Sex Offend
A Scottish “pickup artist” who refers to himself as Addy A-Game has been jailed for two years for threatening behaviour towards women in the street. Mr A-Game would secretly film himself walking up to random ladies in quiet streets, and running some...
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Haggis ignore social-distancing
Coppers have arrested a gaggle of raucous haggis who decided to turn deaf ear to new social-distancing regulations by having a tear-up on Glen Tilt. Authorities arrived at scenes of utter degradation just after one o’clock this morning, after bein...
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Preparations for G8 Summit Take a Step Forward
As the eyes of the world turn to the bonny hills of Scotland, G8 participants are gearing themselves up for their Highland Fling under the folds my own voluminous skirts.
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Statues cause protests in London
Protests have been held in London to campaign against a series of statues of Gordon Brown's head which have been put up around London as part of a PR campaign to make the "Not the dour Scotsman" more widely accepted.
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Scottish Conservatives appoint new MSP - Archie the inventor
Following the resignation of their 'best hope for an MSP' Jimmy Buchan, the Scottish Conservatives have today appointed a new candidate ahead of the Holyrood elections. Archie the inventor from the highly popular TV series Balamory is to stand in...
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Queen Declares Haggis as Scottish State Bird
Following a series of announcements designed to transition Scotland to a more independent state, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II has declared that Haggis should now be considered the Scottish State Bird. Immediately engaged in damage control over...
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Posthoorn Interview no. 4: Tom 'Brexit prepper', the SAD truth
Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. The reporter of the world famous weekly newspaper The Posthoorn (chosen by 75% of their readers as their favorite alternative cat litter) heard on the grapevine that To...
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Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!
English custom's authorities, police and military are on red alert after a border invasion of ginger-headed (Not Harry he's got other problems), kilt wearing, whisky smelling, bagpipe playing Scots entered the country today in seek of revenge! OK,...
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Scotland Divided On Eve Of Independence
Latest opinion polls put the voting in Scotland at 50-50 and a dead heat is on the cards. Our Spoof man in Scotland Jamus McWiley has asked Alex Salmon, the Scottish Chief what he will do about this. 'We shall have a recount' he said 'and if the v...
Read full storyFunny Scotland Headlines
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Interview with The Loch Ness Monster
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Royal Bank of Scotland Issues New Big Tender Notes, European Bank May Strongly Object?
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Bird Dies from Bird Flu Shock
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Rangers Fans Travel To Manchester By Haggis
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Ed Milipede leadership debate on Scottish tv improved 100% by sex scene.
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First Scottish embassy to be sited at Fishmongers Hall
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New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north
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Scotland invaded by hoards of English refugees seeking asylum!
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Trump Has Deployed Troops To Hotels and Golf Courses All Over the World in Latest Emergency
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Millions of Britons could starve to death as foreign cooks won’t be allowed into the country after Brexit
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Scottish G8 Update
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Translation software breaks down - no-one can understand Scots any more
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Gay Ministers Debate Dominates General Assembly
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Scotland join Africa Cup of Nations
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England Prepares For Scottish Independence
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Former PM Gordon Brown Timed At Edinburgh Running Faster Than Usain Bolt!
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Bears WR tells Scottish reporter about Viagra use in the NFL
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Alex Salmond Promises Scottish Only Music Charts On Independence Free of English Queerness
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Hadrian's Wall To be Re-Built In Attempt To Keep Starving Scottish Out Of England If They Go It Alone
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Sturgeon's botched sex-change op has astounding revelations for Scottish politics
