The Aberdeen Sea Wolves Defeat The Killarney Archers In The Scottish-Irish Football League’s Opener
ABERDEEN, Scotland – (Sports Satire) – The reigning champions of the Scottish-Irish Football League, the Aberdeen Sea Wolves, easily defeated their long time rivals the Killarney Archers 6-2. The game was held at the newly remodeled Mrs. Sean Conn…
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Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave
- IFL Group, an Internet marketing agency in Aberdeen brought in the system - Punishment is used on 'a minority' of workers with low productivity or who misbehave - Bosses smacking their employees will 'encourage other workers to work harder'...
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Man Kicked Out Of Cop26 Climate Talks For Not Recycling Pepsi Can
Edinburgh, Scotland - I'm reporting from Edinburgh because I can't get anywhere near Glasgow. It's a total mess. Barricades and Covid checkpoints up the wazoo! Who knew that's a Scottish expression? Regardless, a member of the Polish delegation t…
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Ten reasons why Scotland could never win a 'Cumberland Sausage!'
Scotland The Brave are very brave, but sadly all-time losers and, Jaggedone, a footy expert, who does not get paid millions for flogging salty crisps, has donned his kilt, picked up his caber, and discovered why the Scots are not capable of winning a…
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"Easter Bunny" Found Frozen To Death In Scotland Highlands
A man who was apparently on a job to cheer up holiday makers and dressed as the Easter Bunny was found frozen to death after getting lost from the rest of the train passengers that he was with. Over 100 rail passengers had to be rescued in the ear...
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Scotland Move Up In FIFA Rankings
Despite being totally humiliated and beaten 2-0 by Brazil in last week's friendly, Scotland have risen up the FIFA rankings. Craig Levein's side were sitting in 50th spot after their defeat of Northern Ireland in February's inaugural Carling Natio...
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New explanation for the Pennines
Susan Boyle In Violent Outburst Demolishes Scotland
Trump Has Deployed Troops To Hotels and Golf Courses All Over the World in Latest Emergency
BNFL "loses" nuclear reactor
Bagpipe Farmers in Scotland feel the Squeeze
A White House Insider Reveals Trump Will Flee the Country on January 19
Prime Minister's eyebrow to be shaved
Pope's itinerary to the UK marred by bad grammar
Scotland Will No Longer Be Game Shooting Theme Park After Independence - Claim
Cryhan Air build the world's biggest plane
Scottish Anger On Benefit Cuts
Hadrian's Wall To Be Made Higher, Stronger To Keep Scots Out
England declares War on Scotland!
England has tonight officially declared war on Scotland. Her "Old Foe" has responded by closing the borders.
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Plans to move Scotland's Biggest Bank to Iceland put on ice
Scottish business tycoon Ralph Tweedie attempt to buy Scotland's largest bank for a pound and to relocate its entire operation to Iceland has now finally been put to rest. The idea was born out of the fear that Scotland would become independent and...
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Experts Now Agree That The Loch Ness Monster Is Actually A Tremendously Overweight Salamander With A Glandular Problem
JOLLY ROGER, England – (Satire News) – The infamous Loch Ness Monster of Scottish Gaelic folklore was first discovered on September 13, 1933, at 4:35 am in Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. Unlike La Chupacabra creature in Texas, Nessie is not…
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Scotland Boss Proud after Brazil Friendly
Scotland manager Craig Levein has declared himself "proud and honoured to have been comprehensively beaten by Brazil" at the Emirates yesterday. The bespectacled boss, usually very measured in his post match comments, was positively gushing in his...
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Scotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes
If the Scots votes Yes to an Independent Scotland in September, they are facing a huge bill from the rest of the UK. "We're going to charge the Scots for the cost of removing Scotland from the UK," said Boris Johnson, momentarily forgetting his us...
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Shetland Islands Vote to Secede from Scotland and Join Norway
Shetland MainlandTired of being "held down" by Scotland all these years, the Shetland Islands will vote on whether they will quit Scotland and join Norway. When Scotland had their vote about quitting England, it made us think about it. We sent a f...
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Nuclear Subo Marine accident brings end to R&D of new weapons plant in Scotland
Ministry of Defence officials have decided to halt plans for nuclear powered automatons that would have been able to sing like Susan Boyle, as a form of sonic warfare, intended to lull the enemy into a restful sleep, before blowing the crap out of th...
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Mybster To Dunbeath: The Journey Continues..
First leg. Second leg. Eventually, many hours and beers later, they stumbled through the door of the Auld Post Office, and were confronted with the alarming sight of.................Nick Hobbs eating a falafel. It was alarming because both Seaton and JO knew that the Auld Post Office didn't sell falafel, so where had Nick got it from? "Hi guys!" said Nick, spitting falafel all over h...
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Hadrian's Wall To be Re-Built In Attempt To Keep Starving Scottish Out Of England If They Go It Alone
The British government has begun drawing up secret plans to rebuild Hadrian's Wall - the wall built by the Roman's to keep marauding Scot's out of England - to prevent starving undocumented Scottish people from entering England. If Scotland's vote...
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Sir Alec Fergieson agrees to manage England for 2014 World Cup
Newly retired Sir Alec Fergieson has revealed in his new book he turned down the chance to manage England twice but, if asked for a third time, would definitely accept the job... with conditions. Fergie revealed he turned down the chance to replac...
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Bears WR tells Scottish reporter about Viagra use in the NFL
CHICAGO, Illinois (ABSNN) - "They test NFL players for performance enhancement drugs (PED's), but what they're looking for is steroids, not male enhancement drugs such as Viagra. They can stop us from bulking up, but not from getting laid," said Chi...
Read full storyFunny Scotland Headlines
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Gordon Brown to Become English
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Stone of Destiny is dinosaur excrement Scottish scientists claim
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Michael Jackson Claims Scottish Ancestry
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Queen Elizabeths Drunk Cousin in Shock Eviction
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Leona Lewis Tells Longtime Boyfriend Lou Al-Chamaa "It's The World Cup Games or Me?" - Lou Chooses The World Cup Games
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Scotland 3011 A.D
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SPL Promise Rangers Severe Sanctions
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Wales criticised for lack of exciting news
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Football Gossip - WORLD CUP QUALIFYING September 2012
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Glory Holes to be built into new Scottish homes Outrage
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Harmful levels of Testosterone found in Irn Bru
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Unsuspecting Scot Wins Talent Show
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Nessie Spotted
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Scotland's other National Drink Stink
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Scotland Vows To Stop Graffiti Vandals
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The Stone Of Staines To Be Returned To Arthur's Seat
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The Scottish Santa Claus
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England Prepares For Scottish Independence
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David Cameron gives thumbs up to 'deep fat fried fox' clause
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New Species Of Brown Trout Discovered In Scottish Loch
