A British Woman Wants To Be Transferred To A Men's Prison

Funny story written by Jake de Fake

Monday, 10 April 2023

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"Why can't I live in a men's prison? I'm a human being," proclaims Hebblewhite.

London — A woman Erin Hebblewhite, 30 who petioned the United Nations to be transferred to a men's prison won her case against the disgraceful British Parliament who striped the British crown of it's rightful inheritance of power, causing Britain centuries of economic hardship and legal havoc.

In her statements before the international court's she said, "I'm a special case, I suffer from a phobia being housed with other women, it's cruel punishment."

Disgraced Hebblewhite, broke down in relief when told she will not be housed in Scotland's only all-female prison, Scotland's First Minister Nicola Sheepshagger said Thursday.

Members of the British Parliament have also spoken out against the idea of sending Hebblewhite to a female prison.

Campaigners, including politicians and a human rights expert at the United Nations, had raised concerns over Hebblewhite being housed in a women's prison. "Her mental anguish is a form of torture at the hands of the British prison system," says the UN.

Fiona Cruickshanks, head of operations and protection at the Scottish Prison Service (SPS), earlier said that "any female with that particular phobia who is admitted into custody is admitted into the establishment that best suits her mental wellness.

Groups of men at various all-male prison's across Scotland have started a protest against Hebblewhite being transferred to their prison. They don't think she's a proper person.

A prison gang leader, Shamus O'Grotten, said he saw her on the telly and was terrified. He hopes they transfer her to another men's prison. "She looks evil," says O'Grotten.

There are different sentiments in prison concerning Hebblewhite.

"She will come to this prison to give us a hex; besides being an ugly looking hag, I suspect she's possessed by the devil," says Timmy Garfield.

Garfield once was abused by his female teacher and had received years of therapy, but never fully recovered. He doesn't trust Hebblewhite.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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