Prime Minister David Cameron has rallied Scottish Tories at their annual conference.
Yesterday he told a packed phone box along the road from the Dewars Centre in Perth that the party should "prepare for the realistic expectation that our numbers will go through the roof by 2030".
The leader unveiled a long term plan that he "absolutely guarantees will ensure that the future of the party is nothing but rosy.
I urge both of you today (Samantha Fortesque-Allardyce and Johnathan Timmins) to go to the nearest Travelodge and procreate immediately so that, when we huddle here again in 2030, we will have at least doubled our numbers.
There is no greater sacrifice in this life than to put your party before your own interests and that is what I am asking you to do today.
And, hey, who knows, you might even enjoy yourselves in the process.
Stranger things have happened".
