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More UFOs spotted over central Scotland

Funny story: More UFOs spotted over central Scotland

For years, the post-apocalyptic wasteland between Edinburgh and Glasgow has been a hotspot of UFO sightings. This weekend three more unusual craft were observed over the chippies and needle exchanges of Falkirk. Local UFO spotter Bob McJobbie had...

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Andy Murray to Retire to Concentrate on Haggis Farming

Funny story: Andy Murray to Retire to Concentrate on Haggis Farming

Everybody's favourite Scottish curmudgeon, Andy Murray, lost in five sets to some Spanish bloke nobody cares about, after having produced a superb fightback in the Australian Open first round. In what might or might not have been his final match,...

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Football Gossip: Klopp vs. Mourinho, Scotland Women, Oh No! MAUREEN SACKED

Funny story: Football Gossip: Klopp vs. Mourinho, Scotland Women, Oh No! MAUREEN SACKED

After his ailing team's 3-1 defeat on Sunday,"manager" of Manchester United, Jose Mourinho revealed the contrast in management style between him and Liverpool's Juergen Klopp . Klopp's philosophy is that a win is credited to his players but in the ca...

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New Species Of Brown Trout Discovered In Scottish Loch

Funny story: New Species Of Brown Trout Discovered In Scottish Loch

There was great excitement in Scotland earlier this afternoon, when an entirely new species of Brown Trout was discovered in Loch Laidon on Rannoch Moor on the border of Argyll and Bute, and Perthshire. There are already four other species of bro...

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Climate change "will not affect Scotland"

Funny story: Climate change "will not affect Scotland"

Scotland is known for its dark winters, cool summers and a constant drizzle which ensures that nobody in the country has ever tasted a dry chip. In the UN's latest climate change report, it predicts that nothing will change. The report says that a...

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Where are they now? Football hit singles

Funny story: Where are they now? Football hit singles

"We've made it to the first qualifying round of the Birmingham Spaghetti Junction All Comers' Floodlight trophy. I know, let's make a record." There was once a time when even the most mundane event in a football team's history would spawn a record release, but now thankfully it seems that these mind numbing ditties have died a death. Apparently it all started in the 1930s with Arsenal releas...

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Ancient Document Sheds Light on Trumps Scottish Ancestry

Funny story: Ancient Document Sheds Light on Trumps Scottish Ancestry

It has been revealed that an ancient and valuable document has been found in the Outer Hebrides, part of Scotland, relating to POTUS Donald Trump's Scottish ancestry. The delicate parchment was discovered in a previously-unsearched chamber, deep b...

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Too Many Cooks Spoilt Broth

Funny story: Too Many Cooks Spoilt Broth

There were concerns for the future of an ancient Scottish hotel, as well as for the safety of its staff this morning, when it was revealed that guests there had staged a violent protest after having eaten the establishment's special hotel-made soup,...

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Commonwealth Games Anger as Scotland Men are Disqualified from Hopscotch Event

Funny story: Commonwealth Games Anger as Scotland Men are Disqualified from Hopscotch Event

In an exclusive interview with our sports editor, Paxton Quigley, Scotland’s Team Manager, Jock MacSporran claimed full responsibility for the dismal failure and eventual disqualification of his men’s team from the hopscotch event at the Gold Coast’s...

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Scotland's Qualifying Surge

Unrealistic expectations soared in throughout Scottish football as the national team (ranked below the Egyptian blind team) beat the mighty Malta 2-0. Despite having no chance to realistically qualify for this (or any other) international tournament...

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"Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian

Funny story: "Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian

A leading amateur historian has astonished the world of amateur history by claiming that Jesus of Nazareth and his Disciples were Scottish, writes Religion Correspondent, Mary Mag Delaney. Jock McSporran of Lossiemouth, for it is he, made the asto...

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Empress Nicola tempts London Mayor with Scottish Guile

Funny story: Empress Nicola tempts London Mayor with Scottish Guile

The First Minister of Scotland and SNP leader, Nicola Sturgeon, bent on securing yet another referendum north of the border, is attempting to lure the Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, into her lair. In an interview with the BBC, the most prominent Hig...

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Scotland invaded by hoards of English refugees seeking asylum!

Funny story: Scotland invaded by hoards of English refugees seeking asylum!

Scottish border authorities are being overrun by English refugees hoping to escape the "madness"! Nicola Sturgeon has ordered Scottish bricklayers, dressed in kilts of course, to rebuild Hadrian's Wall, hoping the "wind will blow high, laddie" so...

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Question of Independence for Scotland Takes Unexpected Turn

Funny story: Question of Independence for Scotland Takes Unexpected Turn

Edinburgh, Scotland - Today Scottish Prime Minister Nicola Sturgeon told the media that she will push for a second referendum on Scotland's independence from the United Kingdom. This after, in Sturgeon's words, "...material change of circumstances br...

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Scottish Football's Last Chance

The swivelling bowel of corruption that is FIFA has farted out it's newest half baked after birth covered idea. The world cup will be expanded to 48 teams. The declaration which was nailed onto the drawbridge at fortress FIFA read that by 2022, like...

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Posthoorn Interview no. 6: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Holiday prepper'?

Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. With Brexit looming, and maybe having to leave the Netherlands, Tom is prepping himself to live back in Scotland. Before going on holiday the reporter of the world...

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Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!

Funny story: Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!

English custom's authorities, police and military are on red alert after a border invasion of ginger-headed (Not Harry he's got other problems), kilt wearing, whisky smelling, bagpipe playing Scots entered the country today in seek of revenge! OK,...

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Posthoorn Interview no. 4: Tom 'Brexit prepper', the SAD truth

Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. The reporter of the world famous weekly newspaper The Posthoorn (chosen by 75% of their readers as their favorite alternative cat litter) heard on the grapevine that To...

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