Funny story - The Percentage of Sexually-Active Older Couples in America Has Shot Through The Friggin' Roof

The Percentage of Sexually-Active Older Couples in America Has Shot Through The Friggin' Roof

CINCINNATI – (Satire News) – In what many pundits are calling a huge mystery, reports coming out a sexual study conducted by a Cincinnati fact-finding firm, say that older couples are having more and more sex. The Scuttlebutt Review’s April Jiggle…

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Funny story - How old people are screwed by computers

How old people are screwed by computers

Everyone knows that old people and computers don't mix. The case of the absconded email password illustrates exactly how the curdling takes place, orchestrated by big tech. This is the notorious case of Miss Wiggins, an old maid who lives alone…

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Funny story - Grandmother uses the word sleeps

Grandmother uses the word sleeps

Grandmother Valerie Jones is shocked to say that she used the word sleeps when talking to her grandson Toby. Toby, 4, was talking about what is happening on Wednesday, and when it was when Valerie committed the faux pas of saying it was 'only two…

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Funny story - A Florida Octogenarian Couple Discover a Volcano

A Florida Octogenarian Couple Discover a Volcano

PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz is reporting that a huge volcano has just been discovered east of Pensacola. The volcano has been given the name Mt. St. Citrus. Reports coming out of the Plywood State point out that the Florida Hous…

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Funny story - Pension Plan Wants Plug Pulled; Retiree, 120, Brain-Dead 30 Years

Pension Plan Wants Plug Pulled; Retiree, 120, Brain-Dead 30 Years

In an appeal to the state supreme court, the California Public Employees Retirement System - CALPERS - seeks to overturn a lower court ruling that prohibits removal of the life-prolonging plug from the electric circuit that has kept a brain-dead 120-…

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Funny story - An Elderly Florida Couple Caught Having Sex in a Carnival Bumper Car

An Elderly Florida Couple Caught Having Sex in a Carnival Bumper Car

PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News has confirmed that a couple who are both in their late 70s, were caught having dry sex in a bumper car that belongs to The Traveling Dixie Carnival Show. Burt and Irene Fumsteen, were videotaped…

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Funny story - Banks push for entitlement reform

Banks push for entitlement reform

Washington DC - Lobbyists around the capital are pushing the Congress to enact new legislation to curb what they see is an attitude of blatant entitlement. According to our source, Representative Crass Raftgay, banks want to put an end to entitl...

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Funny story - Woman, 89, Busted for Keeping Kids' Balls

Woman, 89, Busted for Keeping Kids' Balls

Blue Tick, Ohio - An 89 year old Ohio woman faces charges of petit theft and grievous bodily harm after being arrested for keeping neighbourhood children's balls. Edna Gonads was taken into custody by Blue Tick sheriff's deputy, Barney Fife, over...

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Funny story - Nasty NASA Bans Plucky Pat From Mars Mission

Nasty NASA Bans Plucky Pat From Mars Mission

It's a sad day today for Pat Spacecadet from Edinburgh, as he is finally facing reality and giving up on his dream of being the first man to set foot on Mars.

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Funny story - Memory Test

Memory Test

Grandad, do you have problems remembering things? I do. Names in particular. I have to make lists of all the nieces, grand nieces, nephews and grand nephews and learn them by heart. You always get my name right. Well, it's the same as your mother's and her mothers. I get into trouble at school if I forget things. Such as? Oh those awful maths things and the names in science. Real...

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Funny story - Spoof Writer, 90, Dumped Twice by Same Girl 65 Years Apart

Spoof Writer, 90, Dumped Twice by Same Girl 65 Years Apart

Of all the girls I dated - lots in my time, which includes now - I'd only been dumped once before. I usually did the dumping. But this time, at 90, I got the full--blown treatment. Right down to having my email BLOCKED! Me! A recognized contributor t…

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Funny story - Granny At Nursing Home Has Boob Job

Granny At Nursing Home Has Boob Job

Even though most of the other residents at the Loma Linda Nursing home in California were paying little attention to Granny Merle Rutherford, she had just returned to her room there with brand new boobs. "Oh the old boys in the lobby have noticed,...

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Funny story - Elderly man found living as dog with pack of hounds!

Elderly man found living as dog with pack of hounds!

The Franklin Times newspaper in rural North Carolina is reporting today that an elderly man has been found living in the woods near Louisburg, NC with a pack of dogs and is living as part of the pack. Apparently the man is healthy and relatives stat...

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Funny story - Sue Barker is now the World's oldest Woman

Sue Barker is now the World's oldest Woman

One of Britain's finest ever female tennis players and friend of Cliff today learned of the news that she was now the World's oldest woman. Sue Barker celebrated her 114th birthday last month by taking on Andy Murray at Wimbledon's Centre Court an...

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Funny story - Man Spends Weekend In Garden Shed After Dispute With Wife

Man Spends Weekend In Garden Shed After Dispute With Wife

A pensioner from Leeds has revealed how he spent the weekend holed-up in his back garden shed, after an argument with his wife "over nowt at all". Arthur Batty, 68, fell foul of his wife, Edna, 65, after she asked him if he liked a new mauve cardi...

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Funny story - "Mind if I join you?" Skaggy judge asked freed crack dealer OAP

"Mind if I join you?" Skaggy judge asked freed crack dealer OAP

GRANDMOTHER of five, Dorothea Wilberton, has sparked a legal controversy after a judge directed a jury to acquit the 76-year-old of drugs charges after accepting her argument that crack cocaine was 'like a tonic' to her.

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Funny story - Cameron to Sell his Own Mother

Cameron to Sell his Own Mother

David Cameron has further advanced his privatisation plans, by announcing that he is to sell his own mother to sovereign wealth funds from countries such as China. He is expected to deliver a pre-budget speech calling for radical action to improve Br...

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Funny story - Brett Favre Officially Out of Retirement

Brett Favre Officially Out of Retirement

Brett Favre, the former quarterback for the Green Bay Packers who retired at the end of the season, officially unretired himself at at press conference today. Favre, who just had his most (and only) productive season of the last five, said that he &...

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Funny story - Woman Never Happier With Her Walker

Woman Never Happier With Her Walker

84 year old Delan, FLA resident Maggie Walton will be the first to tell you that she's never been happier with her walker. Having suffered from debilitating osteoarthritis and a slew of other ailments that would cost too much to print, Walton has...

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Funny story - Startling revelation in study of pot smoking by elderly!

Startling revelation in study of pot smoking by elderly!

In a Mayo Clinic study of one hundred elderly pot smokers there was one revelation that surprised and stunned the small staff that conducted the study. The participants in the study were all volunteers, some of whom regularly smoked and a few who jo...

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