Today it was announced by the government that it is to cut all normal electricity supplies and instead have old men lined up on a hill in the Yorkshire dales girating simultaneously with conductors attached to their groins.
Scientists say this will increase the health of the elderly and be an energy saving alternative to conducting electricity but Harold Lastofthesummerwinewannabe 98 of the "old people being used for useless experiments campaign" thinks that this will have a dramatic effect on their lives: "These poor fuckers will end up having heart attacks and, I mean, I could be watching Antiques Roadshow then it cuts off. It's just not on!"
The government will announce its cut in December when thousands of homes up and down the country will lose elderly relatives and their standard electricity.
Malcolm Greydribble (78) is the first old person to be called up as a volunteer by the government. He commented: "Well I'm stunned. They want me to girate like that to make electricity, I mean, I cant even raise a smile these days!"
So if you live by the Yorkshire dales you can look forward to see old men girating near you soon!
