COTTONMOUTH, Mississippi - (Satire News) - A 97-year-old woman got her wrinkled old ass tossed in the Cottonmouth City Jail.
An officer with the Cottonmouth Police Department reported that an Amazon Prime delivery man, identified as Tyler Montaselli, 47, reported that when he went to the house of Olga Oldweather, who just turned 97, she met him at the door with a double-barrel shotgun.
He told her to sign for a package, which she refused to do. He then told her "No sign-no package"
Olga, who neighbors say should have been institutionalized 14 years ago, then emptied one of the barrels into the driver's Amazon Prime truck.
Montaselli took off running like a bat out of hell and he hid in a neighbor's carport as he called the police, who showed up within 45 seconds.
After hearing Montaselli's story, they quickly broke into Oldweather's house, zapped her with a taser, threw her old ass on the ground, and put her in handcuffs.
She yelled out that they could not treat her like that since she's an NRA member, a Trump supporter, and a lifelong member of the Ku Klux Klan.
SIDENOTE: Olga Oldweather will most likely be spending the rest of her life in prison.
