Sexual misconduct amongst the over-75s is on the increase due to the extensive coverage of the case against beleaguered Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, it has been claimed.
Hans Zimmerframe, a man who knows a lot of old people, said:
"The case has clearly had an astonishing and regenerative effect on those citizens whose memories were a little bit hazy, and who had forgotten about just how much fun a session of sexual misconduct can be."
A survey conducted yesterday, at a mall somewhere, to find out whether or not over-75s had been indulging in a bit of sexual misconduct in light of its current popularity, found that more than 90% of the 11 people asked said they had. Greta Wabash (pictured) is 101. She said:
"I'm almost too old now, but what I wouldn't give for an evening of sexual misconduct!"