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Funny satire stories about Old People

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Funny story: Man Spends Weekend In Garden Shed After Dispute With Wife

Man Spends Weekend In Garden Shed After Dispute With Wife

A pensioner from Leeds has revealed how he spent the weekend holed-up in his back garden shed, after an argument with his wife "over nowt at all". Arthur Batty, 68, fell foul of his wife, Edna, 65, after she asked him if he liked a new mauve cardi...

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Funny story: Elderlies annoyed with reports on what they’re thinking about following demise

Elderlies annoyed with reports on what they’re thinking about following demise

Starting with an article in Newsweek magazine yesterday, a wave of irritation and protest has surged throughout the elderly community. The Newsweek headline: “Elderly Americans are dying without getting to read Mueller’s report and they’re not...

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Funny story: Man Decides To Change His Newsagent

Man Decides To Change His Newsagent

A man in Cambridge has told friends that, barring any last-minute complications, he will change his local newsagent at the end of this month. Eric Brogden, 71, has used the University Newsagent for more than 40 years, buying all of his tobacco, hu...

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Funny story: Old man tempted to join new team

Old man tempted to join new team

Gary Johnson Sr, 78, and father of Gary Johnson 48, who is often featured on these pages, from Chutney on the Fritz, has revealed that after years of being on one team, he has been sorely tempted to join another one, again. He has been playing dar...

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Funny story: An Achievment for the Ages: Elderly Woman Proud to Have Written ‘New York Times Bestselling Will’

An Achievment for the Ages: Elderly Woman Proud to Have Written ‘New York Times Bestselling Will’

Stating that she couldn’t have gotten this far without the love and support from her wonderful family, 93-year-old Esther Hammons reported, Tuesday, being “proud to be the authoress of a New York Times Bestselling Will”. “I’m a sim...

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Funny story: Isolated Cabins In Forests Outside Of Civilization Along Eastern Coast Still Best Places To Retire For The Elderly

Isolated Cabins In Forests Outside Of Civilization Along Eastern Coast Still Best Places To Retire For The Elderly

According to statistical research, isolated cabins in remote areas along the eastern coast of the United States are still the best places to retire for elderly couples who want to enjoy their remaining years. Underground cults, witch burning, en...

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Funny story: You Know You're Old...Further Thoughts...

You Know You're Old...Further Thoughts...

You know you're old, and maybe an old London git...when... With thanks to Ralph E. Shaffer You know you're old. ...You go out to a late night party, and when you return at 4am, your 20something kids are waiting up for you. ...After the party...

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Funny story: You Know You're Old When...

You Know You're Old When...

You know you're old - and maybe and old southern Californian: When none of the names on the senior golf tour are familiar. If you can remember using a fountain pen. When a successful morning is a satisfactory bowel movement. If you rememb...

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Funny story: Sexual Misconduct Amongst Elderly More Popular Due To Kavanaugh Case

Sexual Misconduct Amongst Elderly More Popular Due To Kavanaugh Case

Sexual misconduct amongst the over-75s is on the increase due to the extensive coverage of the case against beleaguered Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, it has been claimed. Hans Zimmerframe, a man who knows a lot of old people, said: "T...

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Funny story: Granny Needs A Pussy Pounding

Granny Needs A Pussy Pounding

Yes, I'm old. Old as dirt. Fortunately, it's still proper etiquette for a woman not to have to reveal her age, so I won't. I will say, I'm old enough to remember when women protested the objectification, suppression, and dominance of men by burning bras in America's streets. I gleefully threw my symbol of male bondage on the burning alter of women's rights. I admit, not much of an offering at the...

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Funny story: Elderly man sues weight loss program after losing fifteen pounds and three inches!

Elderly man sues weight loss program after losing fifteen pounds and three inches!

An elderly man from Louisburg, North Carolina has sued a well known weight loss program after losing fifteen pounds and three inches using their program. His suit is for reckless endangerment, false advertising and public humiliation. He appeared a...

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Funny story: Couple's security footage 'viewed by voyeurs'

Couple's security footage 'viewed by voyeurs'

Tony and Mary, are in their seventies, and have been watched by thousands of people around the world on their web-enabled security cameras - and didn’t even know. In 2015, due to security concerns, they fitted their suburban semi with what they th...

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Funny story: 60 year old man with half of his teeth, and no money doesn't understand why he isn't attractive to younger women

60 year old man with half of his teeth, and no money doesn't understand why he isn't attractive to younger women

Gary Wayne Johnson from Chutney on the Fritz, a sixty-three-year-old with a habit of losing his teeth to the dentist can't understand why women half his age aren't interested in him like they are with wealthy and successful film stars and musicians.

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Funny story: UK Bakers employ bouncers to bounce out bakery bandits!

UK Bakers employ bouncers to bounce out bakery bandits!

Once upon a time, children; the smell of fresh bread and cakes lured punters into a wonderful world of goodies! Nowadays, punters have to get passed bouncers built like wardrobes to enjoy the experience! A major UK bakery chain has been hit by ba...

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Funny story: 40 year old man discovers he is too old for night-clubs

40 year old man discovers he is too old for night-clubs

Recent divorcee Jason Johnson, 41 has discovered that he really is too old for nightclubs. 'I went to Scratchy's, down on the high-street' said Johnson 'You know how well Chutney on the Fritz is served for the night-life, don't you? 'Anyway, I...

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Funny story: The News At Me

The News At Me

The world is awash with important breaking news stories that scream so loud they surely cannot be ignored. There's a endless parade of sexual assault claims in Hollywood. Ex-Generals claiming the US could lose a war against the tinpot dictatorship of...

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Funny story: Startling revelation in study of pot smoking by elderly!

Startling revelation in study of pot smoking by elderly!

In a Mayo Clinic study of one hundred elderly pot smokers there was one revelation that surprised and stunned the small staff that conducted the study. The participants in the study were all volunteers, some of whom regularly smoked and a few who jo...

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