Written by Bureau

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

image for Granny Brothel Closed In Florida!

"Want to have a good time old boy?" was their opening line every single time a granny went along the bars along the beach in Haskins, Florida, a small village near the Gulf Coast. It was delivered by a well-dressed 69-87 year-old with white hair and a friendly pat at the local bars, with fisherman on the bridge walks and anywhere else an older guy who looked like he might be alone and have some money hung out.

"We didn't even have to go out much", stated one elderly lady. "Most of them come here before and after a fishing trip."

But all that ended yesterday, when a house which was rented under one name but where a dozen grannies lived and played, was closed down.

"We sure never expected to be closed down", stated Fanny Belle Beasley, 75. "We can't live on the government checks and we never robbed or cheated a one of these old guys. Just gave them a good time and that was all."

"That's right", stated Fanny's fellow worker who wouldn't tell her name but stated that she was pushing eighty.

"Most of these really old birds just wanted someone to talk to so we would wind up out eating somewhere instead of making whoppee".

"I had one old guy that came back every month for over five years, just for me to hold onto him as he told me about his youth. He said he'd had all the sex he ever wanted. Needed a friend to talk to a lot more these days."

The police officer who was listening to them talk to reporters did a double-take when the "Five Years" was mentioned.

"Five years!", he finally stated. "When did this start?"

"I believe it was right after the depression, isn't that right Hilda? There's a diary upstairs that's been kept since 1933, I think."

"Wait a minute ladies", yelled one reporter. "You may have your money maker right there. I know a publishing company that might pay you a lot for that diary!"

The judge pronounced all dozen ladies guilty but let them all off for good behavior.

"You ladies go on back home. Be seeing you around."

"Good", whispered Fanny to Hilda. "That was Edith's favorite, who's been talking about leaving the bench and retiring."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
57 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more