Funny story - Lockdown to be enforced on alternate days

Lockdown to be enforced on alternate days

The on-off on-off lockdown put in place by the government due to the Coronavirus is set to be scheduled for yet another change, according to reports coming out of Downing Street this morning. All but 'essential workers' were told to "baton down th…

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Funny story - Government redefines 'vegetable' to tackle obesity

Government redefines 'vegetable' to tackle obesity

The current drive to reduce obesity took a strange turn today. Mike Okesflat, Health Minister, told us that, rather than get people to eat less and exercise more, they would simply redefine the meaning of 'vegetable'. "We all know that you hav…

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Funny story - London Bombings - Anti looking at people in a funny way Law Introduced

London Bombings - Anti looking at people in a funny way Law Introduced

In the wake of the recent totally unsurprising bomb attacks on the London Transport system the British Government have introduced a raft of new measures designed to show that something is being done.

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Funny story - Matt Lesko arrested for selling Federal Government secrets

Matt Lesko arrested for selling Federal Government secrets

Washington DC - Last week, Matthew Lesko was taken into custody by FBI agents. Lesko was unavailable for comment, however FBI representative Chambers had this to say: "Mr. Lesko has been soliciting government secrets for years. Right under our n...

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Funny story - Chinese internet hero blown to Smithereens

Chinese internet hero blown to Smithereens

In a protest to his government’s ban on internet access, the Chinese modern day crusader defied government orders and used his laptop to get internet access in Tiananmen Square. Determined to crack down and further prevent the spread of the protest, Chinese officials sent troops and a column of tanks. In a gesture similar the students protest in 1989, Chinese hero Wan Dum Fuk stood in front...

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Funny story - Toddler savaged by government watchdog

Toddler savaged by government watchdog

There were calls for changes to The Dangerous Bureaucrats Act last night, after a 3-year-old girl was admitted to Great Ormond Street Hospital suffering from wounds inflicted by a Government Watchdog that had been left free to roam in a London Park.

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Funny story - Cannibals To Be Looked After Post-Brexit With Stockpiling of Human Body Parts

Cannibals To Be Looked After Post-Brexit With Stockpiling of Human Body Parts

People who eat people will "not be forgotten about" after Brexit, sources say. Following the revelations earlier this year from Brexit minister Dominic Raaaaab that the Government is stockpiling food and medicine in case of a No Deal, it has now b...

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Funny story - Trump Plan Leaves Reporters Wall Eyed

Trump Plan Leaves Reporters Wall Eyed

Thursday, Presidente Donaldo Juan Trump outlined bold initiatives to finance the construction of an impenetrable barrier to the southern border of the United States. In a joint venture with the Church & Dwight Company, the first stage of the wall...

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Funny story - Bush: The Real Life Sauron?

Bush: The Real Life Sauron?

Washington D.C. - After the mass pressure of the public, the government had finally released the photograph in question about our current president, George W. Bush. When the picture was enlarged, it showed the ring of power on his left ring finger.

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Funny story - Unexploded WWII Bomb Found Under Houses Of Parliament

Unexploded WWII Bomb Found Under Houses Of Parliament

Army bomb disposal units were called out to an address in Westminster last night, after an enormous unexploded World War II bomb was discovered at the Houses of Parliament. The bomb, estimated to be a 1,000ib device, is thought to have been fitted...

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Funny story - Weiner's 'Carlos Danger' Ready to Rescue America

Weiner's 'Carlos Danger' Ready to Rescue America

New York City -- Carlos Danger, an anti-hero created by mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner, is poised to get the nation moving again. His mission is to serve as America's super scapegoat, accepting the blame for all that is wrong with the USA. "One...

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Funny story - Ethiopia Blames High Infant Mortality rate on Dying Babies

Ethiopia Blames High Infant Mortality rate on Dying Babies

Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Ethiopian Government officials explained to the international press earlier this week that the principle cause of the country's highest infant death rate in twenty years is due to ‘poor, sick and helpless babies'.

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Funny story - Man Has Neighbour Who Knows Better Than The Government About Coronavirus

Man Has Neighbour Who Knows Better Than The Government About Coronavirus

A man from Hull has told of how he won't be taking the government's health advice on the Coronavirus too literally, as his next-door-neighbour has told him it's all a load of shite. Myke Woodson, 56, says that he realises the instructions to keep...

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Funny story - Cat may hold clue to clawing back data loss

Cat may hold clue to clawing back data loss

Red-faced ministers and assorted other idiots losing sensitive data may have Twinkle the cat to thank after TheSpoof.com discovered him playing with a new dangly toy. Until now, ministers had been considering using the Trades Descriptions Act to sue...

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Funny story - Statues cause protests in London

Statues cause protests in London

Protests have been held in London to campaign against a series of statues of Gordon Brown's head which have been put up around London as part of a PR campaign to make the "Not the dour Scotsman" more widely accepted.

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Funny story - Prime Minister Boris Johnson Would Not Bode Well For Those Without Blond Hair

Prime Minister Boris Johnson Would Not Bode Well For Those Without Blond Hair

The shock and horror released in equal amounts over last weekend when Boris Johnson officially announced his intention to stand for the leadership of the Conservative party, has subsided, but sinister uncertainties are now surrounding Mr Johnson, and...

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Funny story - Tea Party accused of turning John Boehner into a zombie

Tea Party accused of turning John Boehner into a zombie

Washington DC -- House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) has been forced to join "the cult of the living dead," according to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi and other congressional leaders. They charge that the Tea Party branch of the GOP has transformed the...

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Funny story - 5 reasons why the government should change its emblem to a condom

5 reasons why the government should change its emblem to a condom

The government is changing its emblem to a condom because it represents the same political stance:...

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Funny story - Government To Introduce £104 Road Tax For Cyclists

Government To Introduce £104 Road Tax For Cyclists

A Whitehall mole today revealed that Transport Minister, Norman Baker, is to introduce a controversial new £104 annual road tax for cyclists. Early reports indicate that the new charges will apply from April 1st 2012 and that there will be no exce...

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Funny story - Hospitals see stars

Hospitals see stars

The Government has published it's Star ratings for hospitals. The stars range from zero stars (this hospital is full of infections and riddled with bureacracy) to three stars (this hospital is riddled with more infections and full of mind...

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