Government Spoof News

25 June 2019

London Bombings - Anti looking at people in a funny way Law Introduced

In the wake of the recent totally unsurprising bomb attacks on the London Transport system the British Government have introduced a raft of new measures designed to show that something is being done.

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Prime Minister Boris Johnson Would Not Bode Well For Those Without Blond Hair

The shock and horror released in equal amounts over last weekend when Boris Johnson officially announced his intention to stand for the leadership of the Conservative party, has subsided, but sinister uncertainties are now surrounding Mr Johnson, and...

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'Osama Bin Laden 2.'

A new more dangerous terrorists has emerged and he looks just like the old one. Claim CIA. 'It really is astonishing the resemblance...and him having the same name is an amazing coincidence.' said a CIA official. 'We really need to assure the...

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Trump Plan Leaves Reporters Wall Eyed

Thursday, Presidente Donaldo Juan Trump outlined bold initiatives to finance the construction of an impenetrable barrier to the southern border of the United States. In a joint venture with the Church & Dwight Company, the first stage of the wall...

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Cannibals To Be Looked After Post-Brexit With Stockpiling of Human Body Parts

People who eat people will "not be forgotten about" after Brexit, sources say. Following the revelations earlier this year from Brexit minister Dominic Raaaaab that the Government is stockpiling food and medicine in case of a No Deal, it has now b...

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Michael Jackson Rebuys Neverland To Enrich Uranium

NEVERLAND (Reuters) - President Michael Jackson says Neverland wishes to achieve industrial-scale uranium enrichment, setting it on a collision course with the US government which now fears the former king of pop intends to produce an atomic bomb and...

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Statue of Liberty Head Kills 4

Propaganda 'Missing Point'

UK Government In Chaos Over Brexit

United States Government Declares Bankruptcy, Seeks Protection from Creditors

Ode In Memory of the Lib-Dem Party

Americans Inspired by Climate Change Author's Message that Burgers Are Not the Problem

Riot in the South West Forests.

Government Unveils 'Total Knife Ban' - Even In Kitchens

Free Gluten for Low-Income Americans

Amazing Discovery in Corpse of Outlaw Jesse James!

Debt Relief scheme to be Built around Corporate Responsibility

Flatulance Pays, says Nick Clegg

Government Cuts: Rebuilding of Stonehenge now in doubt

Hidden among the cuts announced by the government in the last few days is a project that was originally promoted as a key Conservative initiative. The rebuilding of Stonehenge into a fully operational sports stadium was suggested as an important ele...

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English Civil War Is 'On The Cards'

The English Civil War, which raged throughout the land in two periods between 1642 and 1651, was the last time the people of England were so divided on opinion that they had to revert to inflicting violence upon one another, but the current state of...

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Another Mayor "Crackin" Up

TORONTO, ON - The mayor of Toronto, ON has admitted recently to smoking crack, but is refusing to resign his position. "How can I afford to give this job up? Do you realize how expensive a CRACK habit is?" states the mayor. Locals are working...

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Ethiopia Blames High Infant Mortality rate on Dying Babies

Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Ethiopian Government officials explained to the international press earlier this week that the principle cause of the country's highest infant death rate in twenty years is due to ‘poor, sick and helpless babies'.

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Bush: The Real Life Sauron?

Washington D.C. - After the mass pressure of the public, the government had finally released the photograph in question about our current president, George W. Bush. When the picture was enlarged, it showed the ring of power on his left ring finger.

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Public Rejects Idea Of World Government

Recently, a reporter for the Financial Times of London received a lot of criticism for suggesting that some sort of world government is needed to really solve the problem of global climate change. This reporter was commissioned to conduct a survey of public opinion on the topic of world government. The first person interviewed was John Q. Public, from the United States. Ken: John, how do y...

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US spy industry disguises intelligence with stupidity

Washington, DC -- From dropping the ball on 9/11 to identifying non-existent weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, America's intelligence industry seems forever to be on the losing side. The most recent publicly documented failure: allowing a freel...

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What If The Governments of the World Were Run Like Game Shows?

In many countries of the world the government is the sole producer of all television broadcasting. They decide what will be aired, what will be written, who will star in what and who will be shot for making the wrong joke. What if they just went a step further and ran the governments just like they were game shows (aren't they anyway?)? Maybe the results would be something like this: KING FOR...

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Home Secretary Has Blood On His Hands

Home secretary, Sajid Javid, the man who was responsible for the revoking of Shamima Begum's British citizenship, has now become responsible for the death of another British citizen - Shamima's 3-week-old son, Jarrah, who died of pneumonia in a Syria...

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Iraqi Interim Government Takes Control in First Full Day

BAGHDAD - After more than a year of American occupation, Iraq was ruled on Wednesday by an Iraqi interim government in its first full day. Prime Minister Aldullah Watya-saya said, "Today is a historic occasion. Today is the beginning of the ne...

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Smoking Ban: Government Hails Success: Bullshit, Say Landlords

The government today released statistics which reveal that the smoking ban is an overwhelming success, increasing business by over 500% in some parts of the country. Smokers all around the land are giving up in their thousands, and 320,000 lives have...

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Chinese internet hero blown to Smithereens

In a protest to his government’s ban on internet access, the Chinese modern day crusader defied government orders and used his laptop to get internet access in Tiananmen Square. Determined to crack down and further prevent the spread of the protest, Chinese officials sent troops and a column of tanks. In a gesture similar the students protest in 1989, Chinese hero Wan Dum Fuk stood in front...

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Joblessness could affect millions

With unemployment among the working classes reaching record levels, a similar problem could well permeate the upper classes. Increasing numbers of 'toffs' are worrying about 'joblessness' (which is a 'posh' word for 'unemployment'). And hundreds o...

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Hillary's reasons for a private email server are revealed

Washington, DC -- Unannounced presidential candidate Hillary Clinton had more than a few good reasons for operating her own email server while she served as Secretary of State. Unfortunately, they were all on that server, which has malfunctioned and...

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