Government Climate Committee Agrees that Desperate Times Call for Discussion of Some Possible Measures

Written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 5 November 2019

image for Government Climate Committee Agrees that Desperate Times Call for Discussion of Some Possible Measures
Though the planet's heating up, government climate committee INERTIA is keeping a cool head.

After some debate, a government action committee formed to address the ever-worsening climate crisis reached a consensus that these desperate environmental times call for discussion of taking some possible measures.

“It’s too early to tell precisely what measures,” said Nathaniel Holloway, chairperson of the Intercultural National Environmental Research, Thought and Investigation Alliance, “but we’re seriously considering talking about potentially doing something.”

Holloway emphasized that INERTIA does not want to precipitously rush into any immediate action to reverse global warming, as acting too hastily could cause citizens to question the efficacy of government bureaucracy in general.

“This is a long-term problem with such dire implications that we need to either do this thing right, or not do it at all,” said Holloway regarding reversing global warming. “We’re leaning toward the latter. But Americans can rest assured that INERTIA will never take any half-measures without endless discussion and debate."

He added, "Even though the planet's heating up as we speak, someone needs to keep a cool head."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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