A senior and yet unknown member of the UK government is under investigation for attempting to circumvent asylum laws by marrying a foreigner to obtain a British passport.
Tony Blair today came out all guns firing to deny rumors that a member of his team would use their position of privilege to influence government departments for their own personal gains.
"we have never conducted such activity, my team are so responsible, we just dont behave like this, that would be uncool" said the PM.
We showed Tony Blair the wedding photo of the Minister to which he replied, "Bakri could have married anyone, you cant tell anything from that picture, i mean, why would a fat pie eating so and so do such a thing?".
We pointed out to Mr Blair that we did not mention Bakri's involvement in this wedding and we mentioned no pies either indicating that he actually knows more than he is saying.
Sources believe the minister to be a certain Jabba the Hut lookalike, who once applied for the role of Jabba the Hut in the movie star wars only to lose out to a pretty boy, but they were still not 100% certain.
On the menu at the wedding were a lot of pork pies, Mr Bakri objected to this and threatened a 'Jihad' if they were not Halal Pork. Bakri was heard to say "I am a good muslim, remove the infidel pies and replace them with Halal pork or I will report you to the authorities just like the good citizen that I am".
Part of this deal in this wedding was that the mystery minister must become a muslim himself in order for the wedding to go ahead, apprently this was not contested and the secret fatty was happy to oblige.
Bakri arrives back in the UK within a week, he will depart for his honeymoon, an all expesnses government funded trip to 'Walls' the pie and sausage makers.
Bakri went on to say to those who are cynical, "this wedding is real, I am very much in love with this person, please allow us some privacy, or i will put a fatwa on you and damn your whole pie making industry". Luckily for us, the new Mrs Bakri appears to be a pie lover, specially cream and has assured us that Bakri can be influenced with regards to his anti pie extremism to take a less hardline approach.
