New public confidence in government rating due soon following latest interview with Gates and Fauci

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 20 January 2021

image for New public confidence in government rating due soon following latest interview with Gates and Fauci
"You know, of 7.8 billion global population, 5% in the not safe zone does sound like a hell of a lot of people."

Major news sources are now swarming to Mr. Gates and Mr. Fauci to get their views on recent developments with the current “warp-speed” covid vaccines.

Not all these developments have been favorable, as Moderna, for example, has been forced to suspend the jab due to problems with side effects.

Plus, not all global inhabitants are enthusiastic.

“Vaccine hesitancy” continues, as with 13,000 residents in US nursing homes who said they would refuse injections on Monday.

Other problems include side effects, occurring in the 5% not safe zone of the 95% “safe” estimates so far.

Usually, to get a safety estimate, vaccines are tested over a period of years, not months, to check for long-range problems and side effects.

The Interview:

INT (interviewer): So, were you expecting problems in the 5% not safe area, according to the 95% safe estimate?

BG: Well, we did have some problems in India and Africa a few years back, with fertility problems in young girls and all that, but, you know, this time the fertility thing is temporary.

INT: Facial paralysis? Unable to work or concentrate normally? Rushed to emergency units?

AF: Oh, all that goes away quite rapidly. I believe a few days should do it.

INT: 55 deaths in the US? Deaths in Mexico, Portugal, India—

BG: But due to people with underlying conditions! We can't honestly say whether the jab did it to them or what.

AF: People die all the time. Let's not forget that.

BG: I mean we have a health crisis here and and . . . we've got to have these lockdowns.

INT: Woman 46 years old, no previous health problems, neurological damage, can hardly walk?

AF: There are always going to be exceptions.

INT: So, then, 95% safe of 100 vaccinations would mean 5 not safe?

BG: Ah, let me do the math here.

INT: 95% of 1000 vaccinations would mean 50 not safe? Meaning, as we're investigating here, all these adverse reactions?

AF: Well, we really need to define “not safe” a little further.

INT: The 5% of one million vaccinations would mean 50,000 not safe?

BG: You know, I really need to be getting back to the office.

INT: 5% of a global population at 7.8 billion?

AF: Thank you, we'll get back to you at some point . . .

The Pew Research Center poll on public confidence in the US Government “to do the right thing just about always” was 17% in 2019.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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